Friday, December 21, 2007

Oh my....

The Santa Claus Book is a must have. We just now got to it in the stack but it is hands down GREAT! My boys have been so mesmerized by "the elf family tree", "the elf language", "how the elves met Santa", "Santa's Christmas schedule". All of it is great fun. There are jokes, crafts, stories, and the illustrations are wonderful. Reminds me of books from when I was a kid. Not so many eye popping colors that you can't take it all in. Five out of Five stars!!!!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Oh what wonderful things the library offers.

This is making the rounds in our house. Time and time again. We have taken it to Nana and Papa's, school and I even took it to work.

It. is. that. cool.

One of those finds at the library that may need to be a permanent house companion. One of those finds that makes us want to see everything the author has ever done.

Yeah, one of those.......


Thursday, December 06, 2007

In the reading stack

Can It Be True? Susan Hill

The Real Santa Claus Marianna Mayer ***parents need to read first before sharing with children. Talks of the legends and may not agree with your beliefs.

The Crunchy, Munchy Christmas Tree Karen Gray Ruelle

All picked up at the library because their covers spoke to us. So far we have not been disappointed.

Happy Reading!


Thursday, November 29, 2007

Recipe Thursday

Yummy! Hearty! Warms you up!

Lasagna Soup! Crusty bread and you have a winner of an easy meal.

*I just used regular beef broth, broken lasagna noodles and diced onions and garlic. I also kicked up the seasoning a bit. More Italian seasonings and some crushed red pepper.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Twelfth Anniversary

A meal to celebrate twelve years of marriage:

Steak Pizzaola with the works. Fresh salad, with Chosen One's favorite blue cheese dressing. Roasted zucchini and onions. Dessert served in the glasses we toasted our marriage with.

Served on china that was one of our many decisions we made together at the time. Do you remember picking out your wedding china? Not always an easy thing. Funny, we received enough settings for twelve! Eaten using new steak knives that I gave to The Chosen One. We have never had a decent set.

A wonderful dinner with my three favorite guys.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Life is busy!

So busy these days!

I am continuing my work with my project. Progressing nicely. I love the design of it all. The textures of it all. And the satisfaction it brings me.

Monday as I was watching our hummingbirds a butterfly floated into the flowerbed/garden. As the butterfly floated from one flower to another I was mesmerized by it's light movement and beauty. And then, out of NOWHERE one of the hummingbirds dive bombed it! The butterfly flipped end over end. I seriously thought it would have a hole in it's wing when it finally go up right. But it didn't. This continued until the butterfly understood it could have the purple flowers but do not venture to the yellow flowers. THOSE belong to the hummer!! That same night when we got to my parents my mother was itching to show what she found. She took us the to back of the property between to trees pretty high up. All I could see what a big spider web with a big spider. And what appeared to be a leaf stuck in the web. As I looked closer I saw that it was no leaf. It was a hummingbird! All wrapped neatly in a web. The spider would eat for a month off of that thing. Now I know hummers are small but to a spider web!! I thought that was pretty amazing. The spider and handie dandie web had defeated this little force of energy! We continued to watch the hummingbirds on my parents porch. We counted ten that night. I thought to myself.....would have been eleven and giggled! Giggled because in nature you are the eater or the eaten all in the same day. I had always viewed hummers as fierce balls of energy. I have had them dive bomb my head on the porch and have watched them go after each other in the garden but to see them go after the butterfly, well it startled me. And then to see them in the spider web, that startled me even more!

Happy Wednesday!


Monday, September 17, 2007

Inspiration of the ongoing project.

The blankets in the last pictures are my current addiction. When my mother in law passed away I inherited fabric galore. Add that to my stash and that of my mother and well you will see a lot of fabric. I wanted to use it up in a wonderful way and I went here for some inspiration. It didn't take long before my idea came together. I am making these blankets for the children at Texas Children's Hospital and Arkansas Children's Hospital on the cancer floor that Brooke frequented. I hope to have about 60 ready for delivery in December.

My goal is to use as much fabric as possible from the stash but I much admit that there have been a few trips to the fabric store! I am trying to back them with something fun and soft. Some are fleece, a few flannel and a couple satin. Something soft and cozy for these little ones.

The process of putting the fabrics together has been a wonderful creative release. The sewing has been a much needed time of focus and prayer. And my mother and I have made many wonderful memories on the afternoons we have spent together doing this. She has been my right hand man for questions and advice and encouragement. I truly feel surrounded by the line of sewers that I come from. Seeing the fabric of my mother in law. Hearing my mother give me advice that she received from her mother so many years ago. It is all so comforting.

I have many more "designs" in my head. I can't seem to sew fast enough!


Sunday, September 16, 2007

and on-going....

These two are backed in satin.
This is totally from leftovers in my mother in laws stash. I love the colors!

I plan on making more like this to use up scraps. It is backed and a very soft baby flannel. Some of the scraps are from feed sacks that were in my mother in laws stash. I think they could easily date to the 40's and 50's. Other scraps are flannel and then some are from left over baby blankets.

On-going project....

This is all leftover fabric from the boys room when they were toddlers.
These are backed in a very soft fleece. I love the spiderman one!!!

Leftover camo from some PJ pants made for Rowdy One. The organge is a fleece and the camo is flannel.

Well, this one is a favorite. Both sides are flannel and it is trimmed in satin.


I love reading the news on the web. I read what I want, when I want without much of the tone and hyperness (word?) that you have to suffer through on TV.

Headlines I clicked on today:

The planet's healthiest countries

Bonds' homerun ball

Winner reflects on nightmare lottery

Is it art yet? And who decides?

At seventeen

Mommy's little helper

On any given day I am clicking weird headlines as well as intense news feeds. It is very interesting. I go through spurts of being a total news junkie to never checking the headlines.

What do you read?


Monday, September 03, 2007

Sewing Room

I want to borrow my sister's camera tomorrow to show what all I have been doing.

When my mother in law passed away I inherited all of her sewing room. ALL. OF. IT! It includes everything she received from her mother upon her mother's passing. I have been going thru trying to decide what to do with some items, what are some items and what she intended for many items. It has been a time of reflection, of excitement and of sadness. I have found several things cut out. Several things marked for projects. I have recognized material from shirts she wore, jumpers she made grand kids and tablecloths.

When The Chosen One and I were first married I made a guilt with her. I cut and designed and she sewed. I am seeing a lot of the fabric we used. It brings back special memories.

Tonight I solved a mystery that had me stumped. She had tons of linen. I mean loads of it. I wondered if it was from a shop going out of business that she frequented. Or maybe someone handed it down to her. Tonight the mystery was solved. They are feed sacks. I found one still intact. This one has a sticker with dairy ration on it. I found another with a bright red chicken on it. They are all in wonderful prints and colors. I am excited about them and have actually already used one from another batch in a lap blanket I made.

I really must get pictures up. Of the projects I am doing and the unique items I have discovered.


Saturday, August 18, 2007

Hurricane Season

This time of year the perks of living on the coast are greatly overshadowed by hurricane season.

Watching the news. Waiting till Monday to decide if we need to head north a bit.

Weather sites I rely on:




Sunday, August 12, 2007


On my last trip to my aunt's house I came back with a big o'bag of books.

So far I have read:

Rise and Shine ~ two thumbs up. I enjoyed the story about the two sisters. It kept me interested and had enough real life in it to make it believable. I laughed out loud and cried as well.

Lost & Found ~ at first I wasn't sure that I could handle the content about a husband dying of a heart attack but it was actually healing, in a sense. I felt the author rushed the ending and I wasn't really happy with that but overall the book was good one.

the curious incident of the dog in the night time ~ interesting and more interesting. Not only the story line but reading it from an autistic veiw point.


Sunday, August 05, 2007


Chosen One treated me to a wonderful weekend away. I needed it. Lots of things swirling in my head about being thirty-five.

I decided to list 35 things I like:

1. Dr. Pepper
2. loud music
3. chips, mostly any kind that crunch
4. to read
5. the color purple
6. and green
7. hugs
8. pens
9. fabric
10. books
11. freshly mowed grass
12. lemons
13. soft sheets
14. socks
15. sharp pencils
16. bright flowers
17. quilts that just come out of the dryer
18. artwork by my kids
19. necklaces
20. rocks
21. and stones
22. seashells
23. the beach
24. the sound of waves
25. the feel of sand
26. the sun on my face
27. sitting in lawn chairs
28. cold, cold water to drink
29. cooking pasta
30. making cookies
31. a freshly vaccuumed room
32. a clean sink, shiny like
33. a free hour
34. hearts
35. blank paper to doodle on

Happy Birthday to me!


Tuesday, July 31, 2007


It has been a year.

It seems like a lifetime since I saw your smile or heard your laugh.

Seems like only yesterday I stood in the cold hospital holding your wife.


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

It's raining.....


Some more.

For like the 100th day in a row.

Well, at least that is what if feels like.

Rain in my parts of Texas mean a) the heat intensifies and b) mosquitoes are hatching babies upon babies.



Saturday, July 21, 2007

Sweet boy!

The other night the boys were playing with the neighborhood kids. On their bikes up and down the street well after dark. Giggles could be heard even when their faces couldn't be seen. I hated to call them in. Playing after dark on a hot summer night. What fun.

At one point as Wise One was making his round around the street he looked back at me and yelled "I love you mommy!" I yelled it back to him and smiled. And then really smiled. I was looking at a nine year old face. He's nine. When did that happen? He is on a bigger bike. He is big enough to ride in the street. He is old enough to go to the end of the street and back. As I sat on the driveway I thought of all the ways he is still three years old to me. Chubby fat little fingers gripping my hand. Reaching up for me to carry him. Staying "only on the sidewalk" with his tricycle. But he is not three any more. He is a sweet young man who needs me less and less but at the same time more and more.

And he still calls me mommy. And he still screams he loves me at the top of his lungs amongst all his friends. What a sweet boy he is. Enough to make my mommy heart hurt!

One day I will look up and he will be eighteen. Where will the time go? Plenty more bikes to out grow and plenty more nights after dark having summer fun. I hope I always remember to slow down long enough to breathe them all in. Take deep, deep breaths of my boy.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Late birthday presents.....

are always fun, unexpected and just what we needed today.

Wise One received this in the mail today from my aunt. It looks deliciously fun and I can't wait to read it! He was tickled, of course, to get mail. As he flipped through the book he got even more excited with the content page: The Greatest Paper Airplane in the World, Fossils, First Aid, Making Cloth Fireproof, Secret Inks, Sampling Shakespeare...(just to name a few) he can't wait to read it either he has settled in his room with it already.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007


It has rained a lot here lately. Perfect weather for sleeping and movie watching.

Man of the Year with Robin Williams. I love Robin. I will watch movies just because of him. One Hour Photo was B.A.D. but I watched it. The Night Listener. Another bomb. I am not even including links. Don't waste your two hours! But Man of the Year.....witty, thought provoking, intense, not at all what I expected. But true Robin. I can over look a few bad script choices to be able to see him in a movie like this.

The Whale Rider. Wise One and I watched this together. We were both mesmerized by the culture, the tradition and the acting of Keisha Castle Hughes. Wise One made several comments about her not getting to be involved in the traditions because she was a girl. It was a big bite of food for thought for him and I was very glad we watched it.

What are you watching?


Saturday, June 30, 2007

Almost July

We have been busy reading, watching, shopping, x-boxing and, oh yeah, a brief trip to the ER!


Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott an author recommendation by Randi. And one that does not disappoint. This was the only one at the library. Her other titles are being pulled for me. I can relate to this woman. It is crazy relatable.

pg 4 There were dozens of children in that family, or maybe it just felt that way, babies everywhere, babies crawling our from under the sofa like dust bunnies.

pg 41 Mine was a patchwork God, sewn together from bits of rag and ribbon, Eastern and Western, pagan and Hebrew, everything but the kitchen sink and Jesus.

pg 93 It's so awful, attacking your child. It is the worst thing I know, to shout loudly at this fifty-pound being with his huge trusting brown eyes. It's like b!tch- slapping E. T.

pg 167 And soon my prayers were answered, first when patience miraculously descended like soft, chick-yellow parachute silk.

She is so honest. So true. So raw. I was sad when the book was over. I wanted to continue the conversation.


Some Like It Hot This made my boys g.i.g.g.l.e!

Fabulous sale at JcPenney lead to an update on work clothes. It was much needed and I am very happy with the new duds!

Oh yeah and that trip to the ER. High blood pressure that is being handled with meds. So far I am not feeling the negative affects.

Enjoy something. Laugh at something. Suggle with something. Summer is flying by.


Sunday, June 17, 2007

It's shiny.....

and BIG!

As a combo Mother's/Father's Day present Chosen One and I bought this. He and Rowdy One are putting it together right now. And believe me the conversation is pretty dang funy between those two. Patience is a little thin and Rowdy One is up way past his bed time but I believe we may have a working grill when it is all said and done.

Wise One is off at Camp Auntie in this great city! I miss him terribly. I missed his before he left. I will really miss him tomorrow. And I will miss him more by Thursday because by then I will have had my fill of Rowdy One being the only child and missing Wise One much more than me! Last year he had a wonderful time and we all survived without him. I am sure this year will be the same!


They came!

Our caterpillars are back! We are very excited! We get to watch them from tiny little worm to big ole caterpillar and then many stay around and make their cocoons on our eaves so we get to continue watching their journey. Soon they will be beautiful butterflies, of the monarch sort!

Friday, June 15, 2007


This is what I am thinking about.

Hope you will join me.


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The most recent smoothie creation.

In all the literature I have been reading Rowdy One and I need to stick to a very similar diet. Me for migraines and PMS and he for ADD. That is a higher protien higher calcium lower carb diet. Let's just say he is my child.......we love chips. I mean love. Really have a strong affection for them. Like we could write *I heart chips* all over our spiral notebooks in rainbow colors. And neither of us are really big meat eaters. Add to that I am lactose intolerant and he dislikes milk and well we are two peas in a pod.

So I have been looking for a higher protein/calcium combo to get some of this in our body in a way that we can handle. Enter soy milk. Not regular but vanilla or chocolate! Yummy!

Banana Split Smoothie

Chocolate Soy milk, we used 8th continent
one container vanilla yogurt, we used Activia
one banana
4-5 frozen strawberries

Blend in blender and enjoy!


Friday, June 08, 2007

ADD and my child

I am only just begining what I know will be a long ongoing journey with my youngest son. Rowdy One has always been full of life, full of movement, full of emotion for most of his life. And the name I gave him for this blog fits him well. As he grows it is becoming clearer that he has what appears to be classic ADD. I tend to leave the H out because I do not see the hyperactivity in him that is customary for these children. Rowdy yes but to me he is well within the normal area of activity for a happy healthy six year old boy.

Classic ADD symptoms that he exhibits: is easily distracted; has difficulty sustaining attention span; has difficulty following through on tasks and instructions; has difficulty keeping an organized area; has trouble with time; has tendency to lose things; is forgetful; is restless; has trouble sitting still; is noisy; is impulsive. While some are mild more than half are increasing as he ages. One of my main concerns is his impulsiveness. While he does well most of the time I can not ignore the many times he does not. Many red flags go up on a daily basis with him and I can not deny the fact that as a parent and who I am I must investigate and be proactive for my child and my family.

This is the road I am currently on. Learning more, reading, researching, discussing. Making subtle changes. Becoming more of an advocate for him/us so that our family will be better prepared as he ages.

The statistics startle me. Not that I didn’t know what was going on but that my child has a higher percentage of falling into them.

52 percent of untreated teens and adult abuse drugs or alcohol. (many
times as a way to self medicate)

43 percent of untreated
hyperactive boys will be arrested for a felony by the age of 16.

percent of inmates in a number of studies have been found to have ADD. (75 % in
one study)

Parents of ADD children divorce three times more often
than the general population.

Healing ADD The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.

Labels and statistics can be sticky. Much information is blown out of proportion. Many labels are not used properly. But when I look at the over all picture and take in all that I am reading and seeing it is hard to ignore the facts I see day to day. I do not mind a label that is used to help someone. I have issue with a label given to give someone as an out or excuse. Statistics need to come from several different areas and sides to be useful and balanced. As a responsible parent this is what I am using as my guide for statistic and labels.

My therapist has been telling me that at some point Rowdy One will need to have medication. Not telling me to push it down my throat but telling me so that I have time to get used to the idea. In most of what I am reading I see that she may be right. But there is also a lot my family can do first.

Last week as I sat down to read with Rowdy One I saw up close and personal, and very clearly I might add, some of his struggle. He is a very good reader. He learned quickly and enjoys books. He was reading a story about a frog and a fish to me. He could not finish a page without getting distracted. Not distracted as in frustrated but distracted as in something he read made him think of something else. Fish hid beneath a rock lead him away from the table to look for his rock that looked like what he saw in the book. Frog played hide and seek with fish lead him away from the table to find his Froggy book. And each time he returned he had to find where he was and get back on track. The thought of my child not being able to finish reading a book made me sad. I do not want him to give up on reading at some point because it becomes to difficult to focus. I do not want him to lose the adventures reading will provide him because he can not remember where he was and can’t keep other things from distracting him. That was a crystal clear moment. I have to become proactive. I must.

I am sure I will fill many other posts about this journey. I would love to hear any stories, encouragement, advice or ideas on the subject. Whether it be books to read, diet plans or personal stories. Please fill free to leave a comment or email me directly at njherbst at hotmail dot com.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007


After having several recipes that failed I am so happy that this week the recipes on the menu have been superb!

Last night for dinner we enjoyed Tangy Grilled Pork Tenderloin, rice pilaf( 90 sec Uncle Ben's variety), roasted broccoli and roasted peaches with ricotta and almonds(from a new fav book The Best Life Diet).

Seriously, as we ate Chosen One and I both commented on how nice it is for a recipe to work and be well received by the family. I have tried several things that failed in one or both areas!

Happy Eating!


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Organ Donation

This is a Public Service Announcement on a serious note today at the What Was That? blog.

I have had to sit by 3 friends as they were on the phone with the organ donation staff. I sat next to them as they struggled with a decision they did not want to have to be making but were. They struggled because they did not know what to do and they were already dealing with an overwhelming amount of emotion.

Discuss your choice with your family. Make it known if you do not want to be a donor. Make it known if you do. Just make it known.

It is very hard on a family member to have to make these choices when they are already dealing with so much.

Go here to find out more about being a donor.

The important thing is to let you family know your wishes, either way.


Monday, June 04, 2007

Enchilada Jackpot

I found a new friend! And since she provided me with the best cheese enchilada recipe that I have tasted I will be indebted to her for a long time.

Chosen One and I placed this wonderful creation in our mouths and our eyes met and well......the rest is dinner history. These are the BEST DANG cheese enchiladas this Texas girl has tasted.

Seriously, I wanted to run around the block and give everyone a taste. I called my mother and my sister! We all have a favorite place to get our cheese enchiladas but to be able to create them in your own home, so easily, anytime you want.........well, that is almost to much for a girl to ask for.

I used:
***chicken broth
***regular oregano
***2 cups shredded velvetta and 1 cup shredded cheddar
***and no onion

Go, go now and check out the recipe. Make them tomorrow night. Your family will love you!


Saturday, June 02, 2007

New favorites

Cashed in on some old books and just had to have these. Not to bad, turn in 15 take away 3.

The Wisdom of Forgiveness by The Dalai Lama and Victor Chan

Betty Crocker COOKBOOK

The Best Life Diet by Bob Greene


From the last one I found a new favorite recipe.

Berry Smoothie

1 1/4 cup vanilla soymilk
1 cup frozen unsweetened blueberries
1 6oz container french vanilla yogurt, I used Yoplait.

Mix in a blender and enjoy.

This will become a breakfast for me. YUM-O


Dinner consisted of many new favs.

Beef Tips, one of the best sauces I have tasted.
Rice, this really was that easy.
Veggies, our produce has just not looked good so I checked out the freezer section.

Happy Weekend!


Friday, June 01, 2007

Housekeeping Update

I have finished the labels and I tidied up my links to my friends. Added one, updated addresses and blog names.

Ahhh.....much better. That was bugging me.

Have a great weekend.


Thursday, May 31, 2007


Working on getting everything "labeled". It is a little time consuming but I am liking that in one click I can see all the recipes I have listed!


"There is a destiny

That makes us brothers:

None goes his
way alone:

All that we send into the lives of others

Comes back
into our own."

Edwin Markham

Recipe Thursday

I believe this is a recipe from a Pampered Chef recipe book.

Fluffy Peanut Butter Dip

1/2 cup cream peanut butter
1 - 8 oz contact vanilla yogurt
1/8 tsp cinnamon
1/2 thawed frozen whipped topping

Mix first 3 items and then gently stir in whipped topping. Serve with apples, pear, celery, crackers...whatever your family likes to dip.

I am trying to keep things handy this summer that are on the healthier side and that will fill my boys up. They are growing which means on most days they are eating pretty much non-stop or at least it seems that way.


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Away time....

Chosen One and I are away for the weekend, sans children. Those little creatures are wonderful but when I have a weekend away I realize how LOUD my life is. How busy and how much movement my life has. And how little time I actually spend with Chosen One.

We are at my aunt's, which is like a mini bed and breakfast for us. She is out of town so we have the place all to ourselves.

So far we have eaten, watched movies, eaten some more and watched more movies. We ventured out a little this morning, burger's here and groceries here, but really we fully intended to stay in and catch up on us time and movies that can't be watched at home with countless interruptions or little ears.

Music and Lyrics, was not a hit with either one of us! Chosen One said "just plain stupid" and while I laughed at parts I really do agree with him.

Ladder 49, thumbs up. Predictable, yes. Outrageous fire scenes, yes. Story, good.

Blood Diamond, now that was a powerful and thought provoking movie. Makes me never want to wear or purchase a diamond again.

Up next......Crash, Out of Time, and Changing Lanes. All pretty intense. Like I said, not ones to view around little ears.

Oh! And more food. Chosen One is fixing it as we speak.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Why DO I love this book.....

Let me count the ways.

I first spotted Why Do I Love These People by Po Bronson here. And then one day, totally by chance, I walk in the library and there it is. In. And waiting on me (I just know it was!). What are the chances? It had been checked out for months.

The first chapter was life changing for me. This book will be on my shelf for many years. I will smile at it. I will thank it. I will read it again and again.

Now the life changing part is not for everyone. Two years ago my little Rowdy One fell in a pool, fully clothed, while playing knights in shining armor with his brother. His sword fell in and he tried to reach it. He drowned. He had no pulse. He had blue lips. His life was saved by CPR. It was and has been a nightmare for me. I was there along with five other adults. The kids treat this house like there second home. They have swam in the pool and played in the yard, many times. They are familiar, as am I, to the surroundings. It was the day everyone had returned from evacuating for Hurricane Rita. We were all stressed out and this was supposed to be a relaxing evening. Grilling, the kids playing on the fort. It all changed rather quickly. The boys, my two and another that is Wise One's age, were in and out battling the villains that were attacking their fort. They were equipped with swords and a healthy imagination. They were all under foot or out on the fort. We were helping unpack boxes from the evacuation and telling stories about our trip. I went to the bathroom and then was frozen at what I was hearing. The other little boy came into tell his dad that Rowdy One was at the bottom of the pool. I was in a totally different part of the house and it was like he was whispering this information in my ear. I run to find my friend diving to the bottom of his pool to pull my child out. I will never forget what I saw and what went through my head. The nightmare began with those imagines.

At the hospital I had to face my parents and my husband, none of which were at the house. I had to face Wise One, who discovered his brother missing, and help him deal with what he saw and the guilt he felt. I had to answer questions from the drs. Look at the faces of the nurses. Deal with ALL the questions with the tone of how stupid a mother are you.!?

The whole while I had a vision in my head. A vision of Rowdy One struggling to reach the side. Calling for me. Wondering where his mother was. Why she was not there to help him. Save him. Why this water was taking him and his mommy was not helping him. I had a vision of him knowing he was drowning and struggling with it.

I have lived with this vision. At times it has consumed me. At times it has beaten me down. At times it makes it hard for me to breathe.

The next day he spoke of a bright light and reaching out for it, that is a whole nuther post. He spoke of falling in and not remembering after that. We got back in the water a week later. It was fall but we got in the very same swimming pool and swam. He didn't want to go under until the following summer. Now he swims like a fish and talks of getting to ride in an ambulance when he "drownded". That is all he remembers.

I on the other hand still struggle. I have a very hard time watching movies where someone is drowning. I have a very hard time reading about people drowning.

And then I opened this book.......and the first story is about a mother who almost drown. On the second page of the book this is what I read:

..... Some would say her soul was saying good-bye to her bag of bones. Some would say she experienced a hallucination caused either by lack of oxygen or by calming endorphins that numb the brain to alleviate the suffering of death. ......

Calming endorphins!!! What the hell are those and why has no one told me about them? A wave of emotion hit me. It was some relief to know that it very well may have been what happened to Rowdy One. He was taken care of by his amazing body. His fear was subdued.

There are loads of other explanations. Believe me, people feel free to share their opinions on this with me. There is still enough guilt to last me a lifetime. It didn't really alter that. But is was comforting to know that maybe, just maybe, Rowdy One didn't struggle like I imagined. Maybe.

He is a happy, healthy, rowdy one. He shows no ill effects.

I am a grateful, thankful mother. I grew a tremendous amount during this time. I still battle my demons. I am still overprotected. But this book gave me another look. Another side. Some comfort. It helped me grow more.

Thank you Mrs. Mmv for showing me this book. Thank you Mr. Bronson for writing this book. For helping these stories reach other people. It is an Honest and Amazing book of Real People.



How many quotes I come across in my day. The TV, the paper, the magazines, the books. All screaming quotes at me. But once in awhile, more often lately, some quotes hit me smack dab in the middle of my gut and say "HEAR ME". Oh sure sometimes they whisper but they still hit me in the gut with the realization that I need to stop and pay attention. This is good stuff I am being told.


"Life comes in clusters, clusters of solitude, then clusters when there
is hardly time to breathe

~May Sarton, American writer

Quotes really do help me put life in perspective. I let them sink in. I post them on the refrigerator door. I tell them to my friends and family. I read them to my boys. I keep a log of the ones that help me make sense of my time at. this. moment.

The quote above promises me a cluster of solitude. And I believe it. I will hang on to it. It will get me through this cluster.

Some seem like they are reading my mind. Others I see telling the future. And still some give me great comfort on my roughest day. Oh, sure they are simple. To simplistic for some. But I have found life really is simple. I just make it very complicated most of the time.

Many time I read a quote or hear a saying and look up and say "thank you Lord, I heard it." He really does have to get me in many different ways. I am a slow learner. Putting myself in charge and in control. A quote can really slow me down. He knows my language. I am thankful for that.

A good quote can be like a life raft on a day of drowning.

Enjoy the quotes you hear today.


Saturday, May 19, 2007

Reading and Watching



Bringing up Baby I thought Wise One would pee in his pants during the scene where they are trying to leave the restaurant and her dress is torn. F.U.N.N.Y!


Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

Wicked, yes, still working on it. It is very good just been pushed aside for a bit.

The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo This cover is so endearing to me. A little mouse with his needle sword. This is Wise One's second time around with this book and Rowdy One's first. A very sweet read aloud.

Just finished:

Over the Hills & Far Away by Chris Conover This is a book Rowdy One and I shared together. The illustrations captured both of us. The endpapers show Tom's family tree. The first thing Rowdy One did was recognize that it was a family tree and remember when we made our family trees and hung them on the fridge. I love books like these. My boys "see" themselves. Something familiar about how it all works.

Why Do I Love These People by Po Bronson In another post I will tell you what this book meant to me. It has truly changed me. And it all started in the very first chapter. I love books like this one. This will be a purchase to live on my shelf for the future and it will be a gift I pass on to many friends.


Friday, May 18, 2007

Positive Thoughts

"Most of us can, as we choose, make of this world either a palace or a prison."

Sir John Lubbock

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Mothers Day

I have no words for what is swimming in my head. I have no words for what is in my heart.

My coping mechanisms have taken over and hopefully they will get me through.

I am sliding into my shell and riding out the storm.

I want to come here and be hopeful and excited but it all seems so fake. So I just don't.

I will continue to post quotes that help me. Books that I enjoy and recipes that are getting us through but probably not much more right now. It is all to depressing.

My husband and one of my closest friends will celebrate their first Mother's Day without their mothers. Another close friend will celebrate without the person that helped make her a mother. And yet another enjoys everyday she gets to BE a mother knowing cancer could take it all away.

Life is happening at a rapid pace for my circle of friends. We know we can't stop it or even slow is down but we are trying to hang on to each other through the journey. We know there is another side but right now we are just surviving the storm.

There are bright spots. I do smile often. I laugh as much as possible. I always see the sun as a gift. I love and I live. But it is shadowed at the moment with a big gray cloud.

"First do what is necessary, then do what is possible, and before long you will find yourself doing the impossible."

Frances of Assisi


Friday, May 04, 2007

Big Plans

Wise One turns NINE on Sunday.

Nine years old.

Not eight. One less than ten. Oh, the poor mother's heart!

We have a movie sleepover planned for Saturday. We will be veiwing: Back to the Future, Space Jam and Night at the Museum. We will have pizza, popcorn and cupcakes and share them with two family friends. So that will be four boys under the age of ten to watch giggle and act silly and make loads of bodily functions, I am sure!

Then on Sunday we will go here as a family to see this exhibit.

I really can't believe he is NINE!!!


Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Guess where I was today?

I was at Rice University to see him.

He was calming. He was inspirational. He was witty. He was awesome. I listened more and spoke less today.

Thanks e for sharing this experience with me.

May I also recommend The Art of Happiness.

My favorite quote from today " ....what matters is six billion people and one Earth." Basically, we are all the same. All human beings. All gifts to each other.

Compassion. Love. Forgiveness.


Thursday, April 26, 2007

I need tips....

On how to handle a VERY mouthy almost nine year old boy. I mean VERY mouthy.

I mean VERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any tips would really help The Chosen One and I because we are about at our wits end.


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Recipe Wednesday

This is NOT a food recipe. It is a cleaning recipe.

In an effort to be a little more green, I purchased this book many years ago:

Clean House, Clean Planet Clean Your House for Pennies a Day, THE SAFE, NONTOXIC WAY by Karen Logan

I read it in a weekend and while I do not totally follow it it taught me several things that I refer to often.

This is one of my favorite recipes:

Momma's Earth Soap

This is a nontoxic cleaning basic. I developed it as a simple floor
cleaner, but I found so many uses for its simple scented-vinegar formula that is
has found a permanet spot under every sink in my house. It's so easy.

Ingredients: White distilled vinegar, water and an essential oil for

You will also need a squirt bottle. (Or for major cleaning jobs, mix
in bucket.)

How to Make: Fill bottle with equal amounts white
vinegar and water. Add 15-20 drops of pure peppermint oil (or your
favorite essential oil). Shake to mix.

How to Use:
Squirt this refreshing cleaner directly onto the floor
and wipe clean with a rag or mop. Can be used on linoleum or tile
floors. Try in the bathroom to cut soap scum. Keep it in the kitchen
to clean the sink and counters.


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Spotlight day

I have to spotlight this:

*************** link ***************

These are friends of mine who lost their daughter to cancer.

It is just simply and utterly amazing to me the emotion I get when I see this site. How much love is in every word. How much thought is in every offering. And what amazing people they are!

If you are so inclined you may donate here.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Quote Monday

"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
knits up the o'er wrought heart and bids it break."
Shakespeare, Macbeth

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The House is Quiet

It's 10:30am and I am sitting in a quiet house. This rarely happens. But today I notice it more than ever.

Wise One spent the night with a friend two streets over. Rowdy One stayed with Nana and Papa for a night as an only child.

As I walked in the kitchen it really hit me. The dog was still outside from his 6:30 potty break. The blinds were still closed. No breakfast had been demanded by hungry stomaches so the stove was still cold.

I miss those little guys. All the noise and excitement. All the talking and singing. All the in and outs through the back door. I miss them terribly.

What will I ever do when they fly the nest? Will I be ready then? Will I be old and ready for the calm? Will I be grateful? Or will I still yearn for the noise and the excitement?

Funny how life hits you at the oddest moments.


Friday, April 20, 2007

Rowdy One, The Chef

A friend passed on an Amish Friendship Bread Starter. After 10 days of doing as instructed tonight was the baking night. Rowdy One and I ended up home alone to do the baking ourselves (right up our alley). After mixing and getting our starters ready to pass on to friends, basically putting a cup of the concoction in gallon sized zip-loc bags for their 10 day growth period, we made our own two loaves of bread. While we were waiting for it to bake up Rowdy One headed to his bathroom, I mean laboratory. When the door opened he handed me a big 'ole zip-loc bag of HIS bread starter.

"Flour (most of a bag) and water(just a few drops), mommy. Just like yours. Feel it. Doesn't it feel just like yours?"

"Yes, Rowdy One, it is just like mine."

He is so sweet. I love him to pieces. Everything is fun to him. Life is good!


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Days....flying by

Reading ~

Wicked by Gregory Maguire. A friend highly recommended it and I must say it has drawn me in. I was skeptical and leary but I have been surprised.

Good Poems for Hard Times by Garrison Keiller. Thank you.

Listening ~

Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown

Watching ~

Ladies in Lavendar can't remember where this recommendation came from......but it was someone in blogland.

Eating ~

Garden Salsa Sun Chips Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yummers!!!

Have a great weekend. And give your loved ones a big squeeze!!!


Saturday, April 07, 2007


One of my favorite songs lately is "Resurrection" by Nicol Sponberg.

I love her voice. I love the lyrics. I love the song.

When she sings ....

"What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again "

I can't help but cry. Every. Single. Time.


Thursday, April 05, 2007


We have been watching some movies lately. Some with the kids, some without. One I even watched all by my lonesome. It was nice!

Eragon - PG The Chosen One, Wise One and Rowdy One watched this. They were all over it. I was in the room, but my big comfy chair just made for a perfect napping spot!

The Guardian - PG13 Chosen One and I watched this by ourselves. It was intense in spots but a good movie. I like Kevin Costner and this movie fit him.

Everyone's Hero - G Hand picked by Rowdy One and a hit with everyone in the house!

The Holiday - PG13 This one I watched on my own. It was great. Happy, not real deep, loved the little cottage. All and all a light movie for a rough week. I do not like Cameron Diaz in most things and this really was no different but because of everyone else in the movie I could handle her.

Take the Lead - PG13 There were a few choice words that luckily my boys were out of the room for. I mean two that really had me. BUT, they were used in areas that were real. Not just put in for effect. Anyway, I could have done without them. And there were some situations that were a little over my boys heads. But it was a wonderful conversation starter. Which I never mind. Another crowd pleaser in our house.

Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker - PG Can't comment, the boys watched it at their grandparents. I can only imagine. But they have talked about it, so they liked it.

What are you watching?


Monday, April 02, 2007

Downers and an upper!

Seriously, I have thought about not posting anything related to my personal life because it always seems to be a downer. In the last two weeks we have had two more deaths hit the family. One from a distance and one up close and personal.

My uncle passed away very unexpectantly, in another country, last week. While it was not in my face it took me a few days to absorb it. And I was a little stressed until my cousins were safely back in this country after attending to the overseas matters.

This weekend my closest friend's mother passed away. M and I met in 2nd grade and have shared many, many memories. Her parents are second parents to me and my parents are second parents to her. As we looked through pictures of her mother it became very apparent how close we were growing up. "Oh remember when she always wore those shoes." "Remember that vacation, when we went to....." "Oh that was in the old house, remember that wall paper!"

Her mother's battle with cancer was short, compared to what it can be, but it was no less difficult. Luckily, M is in a healthy place about it. There was some peace in that house. And that was comforting to me. Her dad looks very, very tired. This has aged him significantly.

As I sat with M I realized it was time for me to have baby. What a bizarre time, right? But as one more death occured in my life I just had this amazing feeling that is was time for me to give life. And when the end of my life comes I want my children to be comforted by siblings.

The Chosen One and I know we would like more children. Always talked of more. But there is always a reason to wait. Always something that makes us doubt we can handle one more thing on our plate. But yesterday this wave of peace and happiness and time to focus on life hit me. Maybe it is the Easter season. Maybe it is just that time. Maybe I was just still enough to hear the whisper.

Whatever it was I came home and talked to the Chosen One and of course he just grinned.

Maybe it is time. I am waiting for more guidance and whispers. I will try to hush the world around me and focus on listening.


Saturday, March 31, 2007


My Blog-o-versary. I have been blogging for a year.

March 2006.

Wow, time flies. This all still seems new to me.

I have noted some funnies, a whole lot of cries and made several wonderful friends.

Happy Blog-o-versary!


Thursday, March 29, 2007

Some Favorites

Some are regular favs, others are all NEW!

I have oily skin but my old tired legs of 34 years were looking a bit.... scale-e, to put in nicely. They needed some tender love and oil. I found this. Normally when I see the word "oil" on anything that is to go on my skin I run the other way but I decided to give it a try. It is wonderful!

As always, this lady gives me much to think about. Some things I have swimming in my head I just can't get them out on paper/computer screen. Others I have never thought of. I always find something of interest!

The Old Man Who Loved Cheese by Garrison Keillor. Plenty of giggles in the pictures and the text.

I showed you guys her wedding announcement. And I hope you have been going back. Always refreshing. She has become a fav of mine.

You must look at her etsy shop. You MUST!!!! I gave her as a Christmas present to a friend and really wish I would have kept it. Really, that is how selfish I am.

And of course....without this in the morning, I am not. worth. much. Fully leaded, on ice,love it with a straw. Tried to give it up for Lent. Failed. Have. to. have. it. For the safety of those around me.

What are some of your favorites?


Monday, March 26, 2007

Spring Cleaning

What do you do with:

~ cards that people have sent you?

~ books, that you don't think you are gonna read.....but you never know, you might?

~ magazines. And don't tell me to pull out what I like because I already tried that and have discovered that it is much neater to keep them in their magazine state. I have tons of pulled out pages lying around.

WHAT DO YOU DO????? Help...................


Quote Monday

In my thoughts this week.

"We have a tendency to obscure the forest of simple joys with the trees of

Christiane Collange

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Wonderful Day!

The weather was nice. The company was great! What a wonderful family day it was.

We first headed to a Native American Pow-wow, a wonderful heads up from our homeschooling group we still stay in contact with. While we didn't get to see the dancers like we had hoped we saw plenty of artwork, handmade jewlery and Native American tools and weapons. We also tasted a bison wrap on homemade fried bread. Fried bread, I say! YUM-EEE! Rowdy One and I even tried a bit of white sage. Rowdy One declared it to be much like he thought a leaf would taste. I, on the other hand, thougth it to be a bit methol-y.

Next we headed over to Froberg's. Now as long as we have lived in this area and heard of this place this was our first visit. And we will surely be going back. We enjoyed picking our own ruby ripe strawberries and tasting sausage from the smokehouse. We brought home dinner of fresh asparagus, fresh green beans, ribs and sausage. And a wonderful homemade lemon pie.

Wise One and Rowdy One enjoyed being with us and being outside on a beautiful day. I enjoyed making some weekend memories. Chosen One enjoyed the change of pace.

Come on spring time. I think I might just be ready for you!


Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sometimes......I feel like a volcano

ABOUT TO ERUPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going on all at the same time.......around me.......while I am PMSing....

Dinger going off while Wise One practices his math facts. He won't go turn it off because he is finishing up one problem so I have to listen to beep....beep....beep....beep all while having this conversation with Rowdy One........

"Go brush your teeth."

"What is his name?"

"I don't know, Leahy, I think."

"He name is Leahy?"

"Yes, go brush your teeth."

"His whole name is Leahy, that is weird."

"His first name is Patrick. Go brush your teeth."

"Like Saint Patrick."


"Yes, like Saint Patrick. Go. Bursh. Your. Teeth."

"Was Saint Patrick a saint?"

"I will not speak to you UNTIL you BRUSH YOUR TEETH."

"Geez.....I just asked if Saint Patrick was a saint."

Back from brushing his teeth.

"Mommy, feel my ribs. Just do this...right here on my ribs."

"Did you brush your teeth."

"Yes, feel by ribs."

"With toothpaste?"

Looking at me with really narrow eyes.....and stomps off!

CALGON...............take me away. With a bottle of wine and some ear plugs before someone loses a limb!!


Sunday, March 18, 2007

Fish Pudding?

"What kind of pudding is that daddy?"


"EWWW!!! Fish Pudding!?!

"Tapioca....not Tilapia, Wise One!"

"Oh! I'm still not eating it!"

Giggle, giggle. We had tilapia on Monday, I guess he thought I used the leftovers to make pudding on Friday!!!! Silly kid.


Monday, March 12, 2007

Just when I think I get a handle....

I realize I have a handle on NOTHING!

This poor little blog has become very quiet in the last several weeks. For those that read it...hang in there with me. I have a friend who lives far, far, VERY far away from me who reads it to keep tabs on me. Non ~ I am fine just taking it day by day and that sometimes doesn't allow me to blog. And then there are those whom I have never met that give me encouragement and prayer through this blog. I still need the prayers, especially when I am not blogging!

There is just so much going on in my head these days. It is all a little overwhelming to a simple girl like me. I try to write it, hell I try to think it, and it gets all jumbled and senseless so I just keep it tucked in my head. Some days, that is not a good idea. So if you come here and read a jumbled mess don't worry I am safe and sound, I have plenty real life people around me that know my struggles. I am well taken care of......sometimes I just need a place to release all the stuff in my head. And that place is this little ole blog. It started as a place to document my funnies, my adventures with my family and my deep serious thougths. It has become the place to documents all the tough things in my life. One day I hope it comes back to where it started.

*****funny of the day*****

This weekend I purchased one of these for Chosen One. Rowdy One was looking at it this morning and said, "Is this for daddy to polish his meat with that butter water?" after a giggle and shake of the my head it occured to me how funny his mind must be, or any kid for that matter. The way they think about things. The way they make the world work for them so that it makes sense.


Sunday, March 04, 2007

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Blog Finds

I found this blog a bit ago and enjoy peeking in every once in awhile. This post made me happy. What a cute and FUN idea.

Love, love, love this place.

Well, this morning I woke up with dirty blonde hair and tonight I go to bed a more burnette with red highlights kind of gal. I love it. It is short. It is sassy and I have been told I look younger. I can deal with that.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

My Mother in Law

I remember before I was married the horror stories some had a their mother in laws. I had some girlfriends who had real "made for TV" encounters with their mother in laws. But me, I got lucky. I lived in a garage apartment above my in laws for 3 years and couldn't have been happier. When we moved to our first house I had to go through all the emotions of "leaving home" again.

We did have our ups and downs but we could always talk about them. Work through them. They never festered. I have the same relationship with my father in law. We can agree to disagree and be fine with it.

As a mother of five sons I think the daughter in law thing was overwhelming at times. Some of us she got along with better than others. As long as we treated her boys well she was happy. Her loyalty to them was fierce. She was the truest of mother hens. Many days when I make that reference it is my mother in law I am modeling after.

She taught me many things in her kitchen. Many things about our shared religion. She guided me down many paths I may have never found with out her. We made a quilt together. I would cut, she would sew. I designed, she made it work. She taught me to use leftovers in very creative ways. And that sometimes that little something special is a warm cake right out of the oven, no icing needed. She taught me that prayer is sometimes all we have to offer. And that giving to God is as necessary as breathing.

One Easter I had given up chocolate for Lent. She called me down at 11:30 pm to help her make up the Easter candy table for our family Easter party the next day and as soon as the grandfather clock in her living room struck midnight she pulled out my very own bag of chocolates. And she sat and ate it with me as we giggled. I can remember that like it was yesterday and it was more than nine years ago.

She came to the hospital when Wise One was born. Traveled 45 min to get there. All my other sister in laws told me how surprised they were. She had not come to the hospital when their babies were born. I felt very special. But I also felt my son was not just my own. It was her baby, having a baby and she was so proud of Chosen One. Not taking anything away from her other sons, but Chosen One was her baby and things were just different at times with him. She was a little more protective. A little more forgiving of his mistakes.

When she suffered her first stroke about two years ago I greived the mother in law I had known. Her personality changed and I missed her dearly. When the cancer with discovered a year later I almost couldn't hold it together at times. I knew what was coming. It mirrored what happened to my grandmother when I was eleven years old. I knew what was coming and I knew I would be a part of caring for this woman who had given me so much. Mainly, her fifth son.

The night before she passed we all spent the night at her house. We all slept in the same room with her. If she could have sat up and seen it I am sure she would have laughed. It looked like a big ole slumber party. In her honor. When she took her last breath the next morning we were all with her. Surrounding the bed, praying and lifting her up.

I am glad the cancer has released her. I am glad she is with all those she loved that passed before her. I am glad she is at peace.

But I miss her. I miss her in the depths of my bones. I miss her gentle smile. I miss her laugh and her squeezes she gave my sons. And I miss seeing her eyes light up at the sight of Chosen One. And his eyes lighting in return.


Monday, February 19, 2007


Still porcessing emotions but I thought I would let y'all know why I have been so quiet and will be a little quiet in the days to come.

My mother in law passed away on Saturday with her family by her side. Her funeral was today.

Now the healing begins for those that on still on earth. It has been a long tough road for many reasons.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Sweeties for my Sweeties!

A few years ago I came across a recipe that made my husband VERY happy. It was for a cookie he loved. Sweeties. They are tasty and light. Can be colored pink for Valentine's, green for St. Patrick's, yellow for Easter or the prettiest light shade of pink or blue for baby showers. So in celebration of a batch of sweeties I made last night, for my house of sweeties, I leave you with this wonderful cookie recipe.


2 cups sugar
1 cup butter - softened
3 eggs
2 tsp almond extract
4 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cream of tartar

Cream first four ingredents. Add dry. Swirl in food coloring to your liking. Roll into balls and flatten slightly with the smooth bottom of a glass. Bake at 350 for 8-10 mins. Cool on wire rack.

powdered sugar - a cup or so
milk - a tad
almond extract - a tad
food coloring to your liking

This is a glaze not an icing so if you get it to thin add more sugar, to thick a bit more milk.

Glaze cookies while still warm.



Monday, February 12, 2007

Happy Birthday Chosen One!

Thirty-four years old. Three and a Four. Thirty-three plus one. Six years till forty. Anyway you look at it one year older. One year wiser. One year tired-er. One year maturer. One more year of past experiences. One more year of a few gray hairs!

I am so glad I am taking this ride with you. You know how to make me laugh at my lowest. Make me smile through my tears. And make me giggle till my sides hurt. You make

Happy thirty-fourth birthday!!!!


Sunday, February 11, 2007

Don't they look snug?

Go here to check out more "Photos of the Day" I love this page.


Thursday, February 08, 2007


Requesting prayers:

Four years ago today my friend, Mis, watched her four month old die from injuries caused by the trusted babysitter. Pray for her continued healing and strength for her and her family.

My mother in law is declining more and more everyday. Pray for comfort and peace and hope for her husband and five sons.

e - just pray for her. Pray for laughter, strength, smiles, hope, comfort, friendship, sunshine, and contentness. Pray for strong mentally fit doctors and nurses who understand they are dealing with a person not a number. Pray that she feels the warmth of friends who love her deeply.


Monday, February 05, 2007

Quote Monday

Poor little bloggy blog, no time for you these days. But I am making a really good effort to post a couple of times a week! Really I am! Really...

Love, love my job. I almost feel guilty saying that. As if that means I am glad I went back to work. Which I am NOT! But if I have to I am glad I have this job to go to!

"Most of the people I know who have what I want - which is to
say, purpose, heart, balance, gratitude, joy - are people with a deep sense of
spirituality......They follow a brighter light than the glimmer of their own
candle; they are part of something beautiful. I saw something
once.....that said, 'A human life is like a single letter of the alphabet.
It can meaningless. Or it can be part of a great meaning.' "

~Anne Lamott~

Monday, January 29, 2007


I have GOT to lead you here. And you have GOT to listen to the song and watch the video!

Very cool!

Thems some cute little Canadians! And talented to boot! Congrats to the proud mama!


Friday, January 26, 2007

My OWN Strength

To show me my own strength God sent me Chosen One with a new kind of Blue Bell! It is called Cake Batter. CAKE BATTER, I say! And it is so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But you see I can't handle dairy without medicine and even with medicine sometimes ice cream still makes me sick. So I took a nibble. Just a nibble.


I prayed for it. Nobody to blame but myself.


Tuesday, January 23, 2007


This past Sunday, as I sat in the pew next to my Rowdy One who was proving his name, in church no less, I prayed for strength. I asked God to guide me to strength, to show me strength and to help me with strength. Many days I feel like I am crumbling. So I prayed for strength for my family and for me.

Since Sunday this is what I have been shown. And I have taken a deep breath each time and recognized them. They are strength, my examples and my models. Sent to me from God. A gentle whisper telling me they are all around me and even when I crumble they are there to lift me up.

*a lone white dove in amongst the other fifty sitting on a power line. Seen while I was putting gas in my car. We have dove all around us. I see dove every single day. But this is the first time I have seen a snow white dove in the midst of all the regular gray ones. She was not afraid. She entered their chat feast as one of them. No matter she was stark white and they were dark. Strength......

*a friend making a deep decision. Facing things that she should not have to face. Make decisions that she should not be faced with. And all the while doing it with hope and commitment to the ones she loves. Strength.......

*Wise One jumping out of the car this morning and hollering "hey Nicole" to a girl he barely knows but one he calls a friend. This from my shy one. This from my one who would rather stand in the rain than have someone notice him. Strength.............

*my Chosen One lending his strength to his mother. She can no longer get around by herself. Her strong legs have given out. Her strong mind is wavering. And he is lending her his strength to prepare her for bed. He is lending her his strength in the one sided conversations he continues to have with her. He is showing me strength.............

*a single, bright sunflower in a yard that I drive by every single day. I have never noticed this sunflower until today. It is in the middle of the yard. It is the dead of winter. We just had a cold snap and while everything else is wilted and dying this sunflower is strong and tall. And BRIGHT! Strength.....................

I hope everyone gets a glimpse of strength today, in their everyday.


Monday, January 22, 2007


Rowdy One woke us up Saturday and was sick. You know what this mother hen's first thought was? Oh we will have a day with Rowdy One on the couch and the rest of us can hang around and watch movies. Poor guy is sick but at least he will be down and contained for the day. What an awful thought.......................

But true to his name, Rowdy One was sick and then up playing. Sick and then running around the house. Sick and then wanting to go outside. Every time he got sick he was down for all of about 5 seconds and then off again.

I should be a glad mother hen. Instead I was a tired mother hen.

This was his first encounter with "vomit". After he got sick the first time I heard him asking Chosen One, did I just throw-up? Was that throw-up? He had not a clue and once he realized he was not possessed I think he was a little proud!

Six year old's can even make sickies funny!


Thursday, January 18, 2007


As I am getting ready to leave this morning the phone rings. Without even looking I answer it and am greeted by a woman who then proceeds to butcher my last name, "may I please speak to Mrs. ^$#&*(?" At this point I knew it was a telamarketer and I said, sorry she is not it.

"Well, then may I speak to someone on her staff?"

Blink. Blink.

"Her what?"

"Her staff, may I speak to someone on her staff?"

"She has no staff."

"Oh, well I will call another time."

Now I have thought of this all day. Who would be calling me thinking I had a staff????

Kinda funny!!!


Monday, January 15, 2007

Shorts and Sweaters

I have lived in South Texas long enough, all 34 yrs of my grand ole life, that I know you very well could be wearing shorts on Christmas, that you never pack away your summer clothes and you have very few winter clothes which your rarely unpack. I don't even own a "winter" coat. I own several "windbreakers" some lined if it is really cold. But this weather we are having now is really getting to me. Yesterday it was 75 degrees and I was in shorts. Right now it is 33 degrees and raining with a chance it might warm to 45!

I DON'T HAVE CLOTHES FOR THIS, DEAR WEATHER GODS!!!! And I have to go to work! Please, have mercy on my thinskinned self!

Yes, I am working on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. As my boss said "sorry, but this is football season for us." as in tax season. I am glad that the boys and Chosen One get to stay snug in their jammies for the day!


Saturday, January 13, 2007

Cracked. Me. Up.

I am catching up on my blog reading. When I got to this story I had to get the box of kleenex, I laughed so hard. I love the way she writes and that she is not afraid to tell these tales.

Seriously. I was C.R.Y.I.N.G. I was laughing so hard just imagining the pictures in my mind as the story was unfolding.

Just imagining a child in a highchair saying "I see fire!" is enough to make me start laughing all over again.


What a week!

This past week was our first full week in work/school mode. I fell into bed exhausted last night at like 8pm!

The boys are thriving in school. Thank God! And I am not saying that lightly! Thank you God above!!!!! There are some things I have issue with at Rowdy One's school but they are minor and I just need to make my concerns known and I am sure there is a fix. Wise One is having a grand time learning the ins and outs of his new enviroment. They are both very bright kids and are excelling in the new setting. I could list all the things I miss/am concerned with/wish were different but I am not. I am listing all the positives we have had this week. And there have been many.

Work is great. Really. Great. I am very capable and my new bosses are very good about telling me that. The verbal reenforcements are good since I was/am having such a hard time with the transistion. It is a pleasant atmosphere with no real stress and lots of positive vibes. My office is right next to Rowdy One's school so I can skip over there for lunch with him any time I want. I also do not have to be at work until 9 so we are not rushed in the morning. I have cuddle time and all. And the pay is nice. Truly. That is the main reason for returning to the workforce. And it will relieve some stress fairly quickly and help us get back on our feet. And working for CPAs has some perks, as in wonderful advice and education on some long term things at my finger tips.

Ah! All around this week was a good one.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes I have received. I have felt wrapped in prayer and good thoughts and I so appreciate the kindness!


Wednesday, January 10, 2007


As Rowdy One was getting ready for his bath .....

"Mommy, sometimes my tummy hurts and I think I need to go to the bathroom but then I let out a toot and I feel better."

"Yes, sweetie, that is called passing gas."

"Did that happen to you when you were a kid?"

"Well, yeah, and it still happens to me now."

"Awe man, you mean it can happen any time in your life?"

Blink. Blink. Smile. Smile.

More smiles over the phone when a friend calls to tell me all the good things that happened to her today. Really, just simple everyday things that she received great happiness from.

Smile. Smile.

A wonderful email from a friend with a list of what makes her smile.

It is nice to have a friend so content with her life. Even if she is thousands of miles away and I miss her terribly. Just knowing that her choice to move, a thousand miles away!, have brought her great joy make me...

Smile. Smile. Smile.

A sweet little arm wrapping around my neck, as I type on the computer, asking me to come lay down with him.

Smile. Smile. BIG smiles.......

Off to read bedtime stories and cuddle with one of my favorite guys!


Monday, January 08, 2007

Positive Thoughts

"All the great blessings of my life are present in my thoughts
Phoebe Cary

Positive List for TODAY:

Having a FAB-U-LOUS outfit to wear today! And Chosen One making a wonderful comment about it.
Being greeted with much excitement at the new work place.
Having these waiting for me when I got home. Man, was I ever glad to slip into them! (a Christmas present from one of my favorite aunts that I wear Every. Single. Day.)
Easy and yummy dinner. Homemade pizza.


Sunday, January 07, 2007


Three books in four days. All were good and I enjoyed them keeping my mind busy.

The Dog Walker by Leslie Schnur Raunchy at times but funny all the same. I picked this up on whim at the library.

Giovanni's Light by Phyllis Theroux I looked for this before Christmas and it was checked out so I read it after Christmas. Good, no matter when it is read. A good quick read.

Marley & Me by John Grogan Recommended by my aunt and my sister received it for Christmas so I read it yesterday while the guys cooked and watched football! It made me laugh, out loud!, cry and run and hug my dog!


Saturday, January 06, 2007

Positive Thoughts

In looking for some positive things today I found this:

"If you pay attention to the darkness, you'll never find the light."

Yeah, okay, I can go with that.

Positive List for TODAY:

Boys talking, with excitment, about school.
Visiting with a friend.
Chosen One cooking fried shrimp.
Comments from blog friends to let me know they care.
Four Legged One, that dog really makes me smile.
Cleaning out the pantry and reorganizing.
No where I had to be today.


Thursday, January 04, 2007


Well, they are there. Tucked in with the other 600 children in their schools. They were troopers. I was a mess, well not until I got to the car, but a mess all the same. I felt like I was going to throw up or run back in and rescue them. I barely contained both feelings. It has been exactly 30 minutes since I saw them and I miss them TERRIBLY! This is not how I want things. I do not think I have ever had this feeling before....this feeling of swimming against the tide in MAKING myself do something. This is worse than my fight with depression or is it worse because of my fight with depression? Well meaning people say "they will be fine". And all I want to scream is I DON'T WANT THEM TO JUST BE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!

I bought something for myself for Christmas. A sign that reads "if you're handed it you can handle it". Well, today that is a bunch of hooey. And I should have jerked my hand away as it was being handed to me.

I am going for some retail therapy. It is raining and grey out and I need to leave the house of homeschooling books and toys. I feel like a failure today.


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

200th Post

And for my 200th post I leave you with some of my family's favorite things in 2006!

From the fam:

Everest: Beyond the Limit on Discovery Channel

Iron Chef America on Food Network


Story of the World

baked potatoes with steamed broccoli

Skippyjon Jones as talked about here

This animal!

From Me:

Broccoli Salad

Brothers and Sisters on ABC

Cottage Living ~ I love this mag!!

this hand cream

these earrings ~ they are the first ones I reach for when I go for earrings.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven as noted here. I still think of this book. And I have since seen the movie and was not disappointed. It still makes me think and wonder.

What are some of your favorites?


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The J.O.B.

This is a hard and exciting and nauseating and wonderful post.

I have a job, starting the 8th. Wise One and Rowdy One will begin public school starting the 4th.

There I typed it. Now I can go and cry.

This decision has been a tough one for me. Tough for my family. The job will relieve some very stressful situations, financially. My hope it that relieving that stress will free up a lot of good energy to fill our lives with.

The public school part....I really can't talk about it yet. Very emotional for me.

But the job is a wonderful job, working for wonderful people I have known for years. They are very family oriented. There is much excitement in that their business is growing in a new way. They are excited to have me, which makes it nice to go to work. I have purchased some FAB-O work clothes that I am sure I will get tired of wearing but I am riding the high as long as I can. The job is local and there are some flexibilities that are hard to find these days. And it pays! I get a pay check! Twice a month!!! Money!!! Oh, that will feel good, even if it doesn't stay in our account!


Monday, January 01, 2007

This new year.

What 2007 means to me?

Still processing.....

Lots and lots of changes coming up for my family.

Some sad things that I know will come in 2007.

Many exciting things that will sprinkle in.

It is all a little overwhelming when I look back on 2006. It was a HARD year my friends. And I know many hard things are being carried over to 2007 because life just doesn't get wrapped up nice and tidy that way. If I could pour everything in a envelope and mark it "2006" and file it in the attic with the other forgotten memories, I would!

I am thinking and rearranging and understanding and growing. My years seem to be so adult these days.

One thing I will focus on this year will be bits and pieces of fun. I will embrace the silliness when it peeks out at me. I will laugh a little longer and a little deeper. I will enjoy what is offered to enjoy. The rest is still marinating in my head.

More to come..........