Wednesday, May 31, 2006
My livingroom is stacks. Stacks of what you say? Stacks of books. Stacks of workbooks. Stacks of blank paper. Stacks of games. Stacks of magazines with projects in them. Stacks of magazines to recycle. Stacks of books to donate. Stacks of garbage.
All in the name of organization.
Did you know at one point I wanted to be a professional organizer? Pre medication. Of course. Remember the rainbow closet ain't all it's cracked up to be.
Boy, I will feel better once this is all organized. (that is what I keep telling my self and self keeps saying, but I feel perfectly fine right now....he he he)
Add to that a thuderstorm that involved having four extra legs and just as many arms take over my bed and you have a perfect mixture for rising and shining abit before schedule.
Random things in my head:
*The house has a funny smell. Could be the rain storm. Could be I need to take out the trash. It is not revolting but it is different. We had pork chops for dinner, could be?
*I need to pay the house payment. This seems to always be in my head.
*My stomach says it is hungry but I am really not hungry.
*Left over migraine pains
*Is my friend okay? Did she get good news?
*Can I handle homeschooling?
*Call the pharmacy
*Make dentist appt.
*Does Chosen One have these random thoughts or is it just an overacted female brain?
*Does everyone have so much unknown?
The unknown part is bugging me. I know that we all have loads of unknown in our lives, most that we just do not give a second thought to. It just is. We just are. Move on. But the unknowns in my life are getting a bit overwelming.
My friend and her illness.
My sister in law and brother in law's divorce, that like it or not we are involved in.
Finances while homeschooling.
My mother in law's cancer.
Hurricane season. Actually, I am always a bit restless at this time of year with this hanging over my head.
The only answer I have for any of these is prayer. Sure I can do a bit of planning on some but mostly prayer is all that can/needs to be done. I can and AM doing this so why am I still restless? Well, because I am a control freak and I am not in control. I mean I know I am never really in control but sometimes it is easier to fool myself. Right now, there is no fooling. I am not in control. Turning it over and letting it go, praying and praying some more is all I need to do. Prayer.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen."
Maybe I need this on a forehead post it. I could wear it and it would sink in better. Maybe......
I think I am ready to go back to bed.
Monday, May 29, 2006
We weeded flowerbeds at nana's. And they look wonderful!
We played in the tree fort. And no one got hurt in the process!
We ate grilled hamburgers. Which were totally yummy!
I read two books. They were both good!
And now Tuesday is upon us. Which means........I will doing a deep cleaning of my house. I will be purging. I will be rearranging. I will be throwing away, boxing up, returning, and organizing. I will, I say I WILL! I am giving myself a week and mixing in some fun but ONE WEEK, none the less. One week to whip this casa 'o mine INTO SHAPE!
My mind gets jumbled and cranky when my house it cluttered and unorganized. Alot has been going on in my house in the last seven months and up keep of the house has not been a top priority. Finishing a semester of college, two major long term illnesses with each in-law, Chosen One setting himself on fire, unitentionally, and the recovery of that. (No, I have not talked much about that. I will save it for a whole post of it's own but we made it through grilled hamburgers without a visit to the ER so all is good!) Suffice to say, the house is a wreck and in order for me to have a happy summer I have to clean it up. I must! It will make a world of difference to me and my housemates!
Day one: Rowdy One and Wise One's room. They share a room and with
two little boys and all the stuff that comes along with them......you can imagine. Order will be restored!
I will make note of the unusal findings, just to keep things interesting.
I already feel lighter. Just having a plan. Yippers!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Bittersweet? Yeah. A bit. I had a nice community of friends at my school where I worked. It was a family in a way and I will miss the day to day with them. But everyday this week something has happened that has made me KNOW that I am doing the right thing in my decision to homeschool. It is a trade off in ways, thanks e for that phrase. It is true, a trade off, where some things are concerned. But still the right choice.
I am excited, scared, financially worried, jouful, relieved. So many emothions. But we will be okay. I am sure of that. I have a wonderful support group. Now I just have to tell my parents! Yes, I still have not told them. We live in the same town and are very involved in each others lives so it isn't like I can just call em up and say "hey, by the way.." I will tackle that soon. They will grow on the idea but the first little while will be.....interesting.
Ahh.....the last day......of school..........I am going to enjoy this new life!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
She hasn't done much living in recent months but today....today was different. Today she was living. Today she laughed with Rowdy One. She played ball with Rowdy One. She showed him magic tricks and teased him. Today she told tall stories to him, and he believed! Today she giggled. Today she lived. And I got to see it. And Rowdy One got to experience it. Does he know that the silly woman who let him throw the ball against the wall over and over again has every right to fall on her knees and cry in anger, sadness, frustration? Does he know that his mother wants to fall to her knees and curse God for the hand He has dealt her friend? No. He knows a silly woman let him throw a ball against the wall over and over again. He knows he saw a fun, happy, living woman. He saw her as she was meant to be.
Today is a memory made. A funny one. One Rowdy One and I will share when he is eighteen and about to graduate and looking back on all the funny things he did. Today is something that I will remember with a smile. My son and my friend....living.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
My friends, here is to all the new beginings out there,
Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
He pulled those little pants up and you would have thought he was putting on one of Elvis' prized show outfits. He pranced around the house. He hooped and hollered. It was like they zapped him with happiness. "New jeans! New jeans!" he kept singing.
Folks, it really is the simple things in life that make the heart happy!
Monday, May 15, 2006
Wise One has had many milestones this past month. With each one I see a growing boy that is not a "little" boy any more. He is a "youngster". First was his First Communion at the end of April. He was so serious about it and just soaked in all the religious elements as well as the attention. He said he felt older after he received communion and now on Wednesdays he gets to receive communion at school. He is a sensitive little guy and processes the depth of a situation better than I do at times. He pondered on this milestone all by himself.
Then at the begining of May he had his eighth birthday. EIGHT years. When you think about it, it really isn't that long but when I look at him he seems so big. Where did my little chubby cheek guy go? What about those chubby hands he once had?
This last weekend we had his first piano recital. He was number 2 in the line up. He walked right up there, sat himself down and played his piece totally by memory with out missing a beat in front of about 200 people. Now, of course, it was not a majorly difficult piece but the confidence he showed is what had me awe struck. He never hesitated. He never wavered. I asked him afterwards if he was nervious and he said "no, cuz I knew what I needed to do." Well, then, there you go! Milestone......
And if I think Rowdy One is not growing just as fast as his brother is this weekend proved it as well. He sat through a 2 hour piano recital like a gentleman. And at Wise One's birthday party he was the youngest one there and he hung with the big kids on several of the games. One game was a to test their memory skills (it was a Spy Birthday). I had a tray of about 15 items. They looked at it for about a minute and then I took it away. On their notepad they had to write what they remembered. I never once thought about helping Rowdy One. And when it finally dawned on me I walked over and looked at his notepad and he was drawing what he remembered. He adapts. No little kid whining that he couldn't do it. No little kid sitting this one out. No way. He worked it out on his own and kept right on truckin'.
Do they even realize how much they mean to me? Do they know that will each milestone I cry a bit at what I have lost and jump for joy a bit for what I have gained? Will they ever understand that?
Be amazed by a younger set today,
Sunday, May 14, 2006
A Circle of Quiet
I Have To Say
A Ribbon In Time
Mozart & Mudpies
Bits and Pieces
A Sparrow's Home
Happy Mother's Day to all! And thank you for enriching my mothering on many levels.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
I have tons of books in my house. My boys have loads of books. I enjoy reading and my boys do as well. Chosen One, well not so much. He doesn't even enjoy reading menus. And he is a better reader that I am. He is good at it. Why doesn't he like it? Me, I struggle with words. The pronounciation, but I get through it. I know the meaning but the sounding out process is lost on me. Where was I in first grade when they were teaching us that? I was always a good student so it didn't really hold me back but as I get older I resent that I can not sound things out.
But back to books......I just finished one that was very interesting to me.
Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin, came across my desk as a new book for the high school shelves. It was a fun read with hints of laughter and some suspense and sadness. In the end it was a pleasant book.
The Gracious Plenty by Sheri Reynold, was a book that at times struck me with its harshness. But in the end I believe it all fit. There are a couple of sections that I enjoyed and I have shared with others.
"We choose our truths the way we choose our gods,
single-sightedly,single-mindedly, no other way to feel or see or think. We lock ourselves into our ways, and click all the truths to one. We put our truths together in pieces, but you use nails and I use glue. Youmend with staples. I mend with screws. You stitch what I would bandage. Your truth may not look like mine, but that is not what matters. What matters is this: You can look at a scar and see hurt, or you can look at the scar and see healing. Try to understand."
"He'll talk when he's good and ready. He spent most of his life by
himself. You can't expect a man to become a talker just because he's come to a place withso many ears."
On my summer list are:
Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (this is the one I own with the beautiful cover)
Chinese Cinderella by Adeline Yen Mah
Riding the Bus with My Sister by Rachel Simon
The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
Mix in with some self help books, non fiction, curriculum and religious books and I will be happy!
Read the comics for a couple of quick laughs,
Toothpaste. Sweet little kid toothpaste. The kind you wonder why you make them brush at all it is so sweet.
The house was empty as I walked into the bathroom to dry my hair this morning and the scent of my little boys' sweet, freshly brushed teeth greeted me. It really made me cry.
In that moment I realized how my life had changed. I am mom.
My life in scents. This one is in my brain roladex forever. Sweet kids toothpaste will always make me think of happy 8 & 5 year olds.
Brush those teeth,
Monday, May 08, 2006
We brought him in and shoved benedryl down his gagging, panting throat and watched....and waited.....and paced......and watched the bees swarm by the windows. Really it was like the birds but it was BEES! The crows were even getting chased by the bees. Four legged one threw up all over the living room floor and seemed to feel a bit better. Rowdy One felt in necessary to inspect the dog vomit while Wise One was in the kichen sobbing and saying "can't we just take him to the hospital". It was a tramatic event for all involved.
He is now calmed down. His breathing is better. He is a little loopy from the benedryl. He keeps rubbing his face on the couch. But he seems to be okay. No signs of swelling anywhere and he is drinking water.
I think the bees have moved on. They swarmed our house and the neighbors for about 4 hours. We were hostage in our own house with a vomitting dog and one crying kid, a stressed out mother and a father who thought the bees might decide to take up residence in our eves or breaker box. Oh and one kid detective who just couldn't get enough of it.
I am ready for bed......and a stiff drink.....that sounds good, but I don't drink! Maybe tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sleep tight, don't let the BEES bite,
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Awesome, indeed, Wise One.
The local community college had a festival today. All day, however we went about 5:30. We watched the local drumline, which was fabulous, and then made our way to the small midway they had set up for the kiddos. Every line we got in we were told that the people just in front of us were the last in line. They were shutting down. Wise One quietly went behind a light post and sobbed. He was heart broken. His birthday was a bust. We promised we would stay for the fireworks and he perked up a bit. As we were waiting in the parking lot for the show in the sky we noticed several telescopes set up. We ventured over and were truly shown "the show in the sky". We saw the moon up close and personal on several different telescopes. And then.....SATURN! Rings and all. It was A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Wise One and Rowdy One could not see enough. There were captivated! The local astronomy club was top notch with explanations and guidance and let them get pretty hands on. It was great. The perfect end to an eight year olds birthday.
And when we got home he got to share the details with his new land hermit crab, his birthday gift from his grandparents. He is a very happy little boy tonight.
Look up at the stars tonight,
But then I married and while it took Chosen One a couple of years, I decided I was ready.
Wise One came into our lives and we have never looked back. Our conversations revolved around him and what he was doing. I can not imagine life without my Wise One.
His humor is funny and silly. But can be sharp and sarcastic at just the right moment.
He is reserved but full of self confidence.
He respects rules and order.
He is loving but in a his terms kind of way. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't. He is strong and sensitive.
His knowledge and curiosity amaze me and keeps me on my toes.
He loves peanut butter and can't stand squash. He prefers white bread over wheat but understands I win in that case. He doesn't really like chocolate but won't turn down something sweet and sour.
I am so proud of who he is becoming. A man, slowly. One day I will look back and have a hard time remembering this moment.
Happy Birthday, Wise One, you are a very fun 8 year old to be around! I look forward to all the future birthdays we will celebrate together. Thank you for changing my life!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Now moving right along.......goals for summer is what I am setting my sights on.
1) purge, purge, purge. Paper have taken over my house in a BIG way! As well as needless things. I just feel I need to scale the house down a bit. Some things will be boxed up and some will be thrown out!
2) continue looking at curriculum. I really feel like the first year I will be using some things I already have with a few new purchases but I enjoy looking at all the stuff.
3) get some structure in place for the boys. I don't do well without some structure and Rowdy One sure doesn't do well without structure so I will need to set a few things into action.
4) field trips. I would like to visit here and here. We have family in both areas so we can field trip and visit. Plus several trips to the beach.
5) paint my bedroom and kitchen. These areas need some updating and color. This summer I plan on making it happen!
I am so excited for the end of school. New adventures. New ideas. New struggles. This is what life is all about.
Enjoy your evening,
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Spunky is giving away a Benz Microscope and Apologia Biology Set this week. Click Here to get the details.
Check it out,
Monday, May 01, 2006
A day with a friend makes all the difference in the world. Non is such fun to be around. She is older than my mother and is one of my closest girlfriends. She remembers being where I am and shares the wisest information with me. She is such and confidence builder on my worst days. The only problem is she moved up across the US from me and we only see each other 1-2 times a year. Oh how I miss her. But oh the fun we have when we get together. She is a "gem". A true gem!
Today was spent at the beach. She is staying in a beach house down there and it was soooo relaxing. We sat on the jetties and watched the boats and the dolphins. It was W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L. We laughed and talked and laughed and talked some more. I feel so good tonight just thinking of the conversations and her warm smile and hug that was waiting for me.
"Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make each day a holiday and celebrate just living!" Amanda Bradley
1. I am spending the day with my friend Non who lives far, far away. We will spend the day talking and laughing and hugging and giggling on the beach. I am so thankful for her.
2. the sun in shining.
3. laundry is done. wait, is laundry every really done? Well, anyway, today I am thinking laundry is DONE.
4. all my boys, that includes the Chosen One, left me with sweet words and sloppy kisses this morning.
5. a cold Dr. Pepper
Have a great day,