Thursday, November 30, 2006

Car Conversation Part II

"Mommy, did that sign say speed limit 55?"

"Why yes, Rowdy One, it did. You read it! Way to go!"

"Then why are your going 60?"

"Oh. Well. I guess I do need to slow down a bit. Thank you, sweetie."

a few minutes later......

"Mommy, green is for go, yellow is for slow and red is for stop."

"You are right Rwody One."

"Then why didn't you slow down?"

Don't you just love when they are back seat drivers at SIX!



Our days with my mother in law are flowing nicely. We do our school work, bake cookies and watch movies and then prepare dinner for them and eat with them when Chosen One gets there.

Wise One has a severe case of poison ivy that has spread to his face and other delicate areas. He is handling it like a trooper but today we filled some medicine from the dr. that he has to swallow and you would have thought we were asking him to drink drano! But he finally got it down with a scoop of peanut butter and some apple sauce. Probably both things that counteract with the medicine! OY!


It seems I am facing death of a couple of loved ones. Both by the awful thing that is cancer. Six letters that change everything. I am a person that has to process. That has to prepare. Whether it be preparing for a feast or preparing my brain and heart for what is coming, I must prepare. So that I can see it for what it is and not totally go wildly mad. I walk on a fine line of sane and insane, these days. Watching those you love die gets really old. And now the numbers seem to be stacking up and in order for me to stay on the sane side of the line I must push forward and embrace what I know is coming. I must find a place and put It there. Some think this is morbid. I think, for me, it is a very healthy thing. Some think I am obsessing. I think, for me, I am processing. Some think I am looking at the negative. I think, for me, I am embracing the positive.

We live our whole life trying to get to heaven. I do not look at death as a horrible thing. The suffering is what gets me down. The heartache of watching people not able to handle the death of a loved one makes me sad. The process is what can be hard. But death. Death is not the enemy. Many times it is our emotions attached to death.

"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is
love, the only survival, the only meaning."

Thornton Wilder
The Bridge of San Luis Rey

Sunday, November 26, 2006

My baby is SIX!

Rowdy One turned six on Saturday. We spent the day here in honor of a little boy who loves sharks! Nana and Papa, Aunt L and Uncle J, cousins O and L, along with Beck and Little M. It was a beautiful day and Rowdy One had a wonderful time. The shark voyage was is favorite! He is still talking of it. He rode the ferris wheel with Chosen One, Wise One and Nana because Mommy is AFRAID, SCARED TO DEATH of heights. Everyone enjoyed the change of pace and lots of smiles!!!

In the last two weeks Rowdy One has lost his first tooth followed by the second one a day later. He took his training wheels off and has not stopped riding his bike except to sleep. And he has, to me, been a little less fearful of things. He is growing up. Stretching out. Thinking crooked. Seeing life in a whole new light! With six year old eyes. He makes me smile everyday. He makes his brother giggle and makes his daddy shake his head! He is a treasure.

I may not be around as much as I would like in the coming weeks. They have discovered several tumors in my mother in laws brain, she had lung cancer this time last year. The boys and I will be caring for her in the afternoons. Our days will be pretty full. I will try to keep up with everyone as best I can.

And please keep us all in prayers.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

It started out as a innocent question.

Conversation in the van today:

Rowdy One "Mommy, how many Thanksgivings did you and daddy have without Wise One?"

"Three" simple reply by me.

"How many without me?"


"So you were alone for three years?"

"Yes, daddy and I were married three years before we had you babies!" I answered with a sweet grin on my face.......thinking, YES, dear little one three years of quiet and three years of finishing your dinner plate and I was continuing to think of days gone by when Wise One pipes up.......with THE question. THE. QUESTION. Seriously, we were having a very simple, innocent Thanksgiving discussion. And then...............

Wise One "How do you make babies?"

"What did you say? I think I misunderstood."

"How do you make babies? Does it just happen? Or do you do something special?"

In my head I am saying, oh you do something special alright Mr. and I ain't havin' this conversation now. You are only eight years old! And my heart can't take this.

As I try to control my breathing I think...short and sweet. Only as much informtion as they ask.

"Well, sweetie, God gives a man a special gift and a woman a special gift and when they come together in love they have a baby."


Well, look at that. He is satisfied and I can calm down.

"Well, what about cousin C.?"

Cousin C is a nineteen year old cousin that is unwed and pregnant. The famliy just found out. Now while I know worse things could happen to a family I just wasn't quite sure how to explain this to my eight year old in regards to how it happened.

So we talked of gifts God gives and we talked of free will. We talked of choices. We talked of hardships for Cousin C, the baby and the father, who is wanting nothing to do with the baby. We discussed all of this.

And then he says "So the gifts are sperm and eggs? Like when seahorses are born, only the daddy carries them."

"Yes, sweetie, basically yes." Dang Discovery Channel!

And that was it. As innocent it was started it ended. It wasn't until I pulled in the driveway that I realized our tightly I was griping the steering wheel.

Innocent car conversation.



Sunday, November 19, 2006

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Current Favorites

Listening to:

A Toad for Tuesday by Russell E. Erickson ~ our library has a sound recording of this and it is wonderful to listen to. Both boys really enjoy it.

Skippyjon Jones in the Doghouse by Judy Schachner ~ when I read this I butchered the silly words. Luckily it came with a cd with the story read by the author. Wonderfully silly and funny. While it is no literary masterpiece and at times I thought it didn't make a lot of sense and was hard to follow, it made my two giggle over and over!


The Joy Luck Club ~ just finished the book, had to see the movie. I cried and cried at the end. I enjoyed watching it.

A Midsummer Night's Dream ~ produced by the BBC and Time Life, couldn't find a link. Wise One and I have enjoyed this.


Little Women by Louisa May Alcott ~ I have had this copy since I was nine years old I think it is high time I find our what all the fuss is about.


Holy Jalapeno!

I finally put my links up. Just had to sit down and do it. Uninterrupted.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006


The holiday season is upon me. No way to get around it. I used to enjoy the season and I think I still can, I just have to get my head straight. Family stress, financial stress, food stress, stress, stress, stress! That is what I see. Now isn't that sad? Really, pretty SAD!

Today I pulled my lazy bones out of bed early to take a short walk. My real motivation was that we were out of Dr. Pepper and I have to walk by little neighborhood store in the process of exercising so it made my "fix" more justifiable. I did wait until after I completed said 20 minute walk to purchase said fix! Come on, what do you take me for?

Anyway, during my walk I was searching. How can I get my "groove"(Beck knows she needs to get her groove on as well!) in the mood for the holidays? There is something more than this feeling I am feeling, isn't there? This is not they way the season is supposed to start out, is it? In my searching I know I am learning. I am learning the hard way because I am a slow learner. Very slow.......

Every moring I visit places like this and this. And, oh, this one too. So peaceful. So clear. So intent. So content! I am searching for a feeling like that. I know what I believe. At least I think I know what I believe, most of the time. I know this is His season. I know that. I know I want my children to know that. I want them to feel that. But my actions don't always, naturally, show that. And that is what I am searching to correct.

He is what I am searching for.


Monday, November 13, 2006


When Chosen One and I ate Saturday night for our anniversary one of our topics was what we would do if we won the lotto. Earlier in the day we watched a show on TLC that was about regular people who had won a power ball and what they did with their money. One man won a gazillion dollars and at the time he was unemployed and needed back surgery. The things is purchased just boggled our minds. Statues and statues of people/goddesses/animals that were each at least $200,000. What? I mean it is his money and he did do several good deeds that the show highlighted but 50 statues each worth that much is just not for me.

Anyway, we decided to play the lotto that night. Can't win if you don't play! We purchased 11 tickets in honor of eleven years. Ten quick picks and one ticket we used important dates. About 10:30pm we checked the computer and what do you know...................

SOME ONE IN OUR TOWN, small Texas town in the middle of nowhere, WON THE LOTTO!

But is wasn't us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone in or around our little town is EIGHTEEN million dollars richer!!!!!

But is wasn't us! Ah well............being poor is not soooo bad. Eighteen million would probably have brought us a whole lotta trouble. I mean who needs a new car?!. Who needs all the stress of buying new clothes or a new house?! Truly, who needs it?!

I would have liked a new car. Not a Bently or anything just a regular ole new car for a family of 4. Nothing big.......


Friday, November 10, 2006

Eleven Years

Eleven LOOONNNGGGG years! heheeh, just kidding Chosen One.

Tomorrow we will celebrate the Veteran's and celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary.

Eleven years: two kids, three pregnancies, two dogs, two cats, seven vehicles, ten jobs, two homes. Yep, that is what we have gone through in eleven years. Now when you look deeper into all these you will see the life we have lived! Oh the ups! Oh the downs....... Oh the fun! Oh the "what the heck was I thinking" and better yet "what the heck were you thinking". The sleepless nights, due to illness, babies, fights or having to much fun! The tight money situations that never seem to go away. The talks that make us feel so much better. The talks that make us crack up!

Who else would I want to live this life with? None other than the Chosen One. I am so glad we decided to get married. While I think back and know we had NO idea what we were really getting in to, I do believe God put us together for the long haul. Put us together for each other.

I love you Chosen One. Happy Anniversary!


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

What am I doing up at this hour?

Well, it IS 2:49 in the morning but who is noticing that!

I have a cold. One that makes it hard to breathe when you lay just right, makes it hard to not cough when you lay just so and one that makes your stomach queasy from all the drainage from you know where that makes you feel like you know what. Yeah, that kind of cold. And I just couldn't lay in bed anymore. I need to eat something and blow something and take something.

So there you have it. I have a cold. And I don't like it.


Monday, November 06, 2006

Reading and Viewing

Just finished: The Joy Luck Club

At one point I was not sure I would finish reading the book. But, I did and I am glad. In the begining I was having a hard time keeping everything straight and it was a little confusing, the comments, traditions, the harshness of the characters. In the end I was pleased with the closure it ended with.

Just watched: Capote and Being Julia

I knew nothing of either one of these. Well, of course I had heard about Capote but had no idea what it was about. I throughly enjoyed it. I wanted to watch it again. I was mesmerized by Philip Seymour Hoffman and I still do not know if it was the writing or his acting but he was wonderful. Being Julia was fun to watch just to listen to the accents. Bad or good (the accents), I could not tell, but I enjoyed them!


Friday, November 03, 2006


"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love."

Hubert H. Humphrey

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Today was math and handwriting. Importance stressed on the details. Don't forget to carry the one. Remember to cross the t. Wise One is artsy so we are working on making a one look like a 1 and a seven look like a 7. He would love to go straight to cursive but I am making him patiently learn to print neatly. Again, cursive appeals to his artsy side. Details my dear one. Details. Lets not jump ahead.

While working at the local high school I found that many kids can not write neatly to save their lives. Seriously. And lets not even start talking about spelling. In the computer age of texting and shorter phrases and abbreviating everything handwriting, and the importance of it, have fallen by the way side.

This article was interesting to me. Are we losing the art of handwriting? Not in this house.