Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Why am I up at this time??

Well, for starters I went to bed at 7:15! fifteen. I have been fighting off a cold/allergy/stress overload, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't feeling real great and could barely keep my eyes open so I decided I needed to just go with the feeling. My bed was calling me and I was going to answer.

Add to that a thuderstorm that involved having four extra legs and just as many arms take over my bed and you have a perfect mixture for rising and shining abit before schedule.

Random things in my head:

*The house has a funny smell. Could be the rain storm. Could be I need to take out the trash. It is not revolting but it is different. We had pork chops for dinner, could be?
*I need to pay the house payment. This seems to always be in my head.
*My stomach says it is hungry but I am really not hungry.
*Left over migraine pains
*Return movie
*Is my friend okay? Did she get good news?
*Can I handle homeschooling?
*Call the pharmacy
*Make dentist appt.
*Does Chosen One have these random thoughts or is it just an overacted female brain?
*Does everyone have so much unknown?

The unknown part is bugging me. I know that we all have loads of unknown in our lives, most that we just do not give a second thought to. It just is. We just are. Move on. But the unknowns in my life are getting a bit overwelming.

My friend and her illness.
My sister in law and brother in law's divorce, that like it or not we are involved in.
Finances while homeschooling.
My mother in law's cancer.
Hurricane season. Actually, I am always a bit restless at this time of year with this hanging over my head.

The only answer I have for any of these is prayer. Sure I can do a bit of planning on some but mostly prayer is all that can/needs to be done. I can and AM doing this so why am I still restless? Well, because I am a control freak and I am not in control. I mean I know I am never really in control but sometimes it is easier to fool myself. Right now, there is no fooling. I am not in control. Turning it over and letting it go, praying and praying some more is all I need to do. Prayer.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Maybe I need this on a forehead post it. I could wear it and it would sink in better. Maybe......

I think I am ready to go back to bed.


1 comment:

Islandsparrow said...

I have done that evening sleep and up half the night routine as well Lyn.

It's funny how things loom larger at night than they do in the day. Prayer is the answer.

I'm adding mine to yours right now.