type b flu

that is actually what i am cherishing today. type b flu. it means wise one and i have spent a week together. he with fever of 102.9 and me with a terrible sinus headache. he has the flu. i have a cold. but we sit together all day. taking naps. watching tv. laughing. talking.

"will you have a dog for your kids?" i ask.

"yes. most definitely. to teach responsibility."

"it that what four legged one teaches you?"

"yeah, kinda."

then we take a nap.

we eat scrambled eggs twice in a day cause that is all that sounds good to him. we stay in our pjs for days on end. with a shower on occasion to freshen up. we drink sprite and tea.

"why i oughta!!!" i say in some weird accent. like a mobster maybe. i have not idea when i even started this but when the boys pick on me or do something silly i say it pumping my fists in the air, laughing. and they say "but your not gonna!" and we laugh and laugh. family joke that no one understands. but a tradition all the same.

and i ask, "i wonder, will you do that with your kids?"

"i am sure i will!" and i smile.

he plays one of his shoot em up games. the kind that make mommas cringe and daddys say...it's a male thing. we fight against the bad guys and save the world. yeah, one of those games (eye roll). i tell him to stop and listen. he does and smiles.

"i hear the birds. they don't have the flu." and i smile.

he is a great kid, this one. my first born. the one that survived my total inability to diaper and swaddle and change clothes with arms swinging in every direction. the one that made my heart melt over and over just be watching him sleep. the one that slept with us till he was three and now just tolerates my hugs.

i cherish this week of sickies just to spend time with him. and i think he kinda enjoyed it too. not the mouth sores so much but the one on one time, that he usually competes for, yeah he has enjoyed that.

off to make more scrambled eggs.

lyn

misplaced

i have a habit that is not always good. in fact it usually gets me in trouble or makes someone else stressed in the house. and i am not naming names of who gets stressed but it is not me.

wise one is home sick today with fever. high fever. we looked for the digital thermometer and couldn't find it. wise one had it several weeks ago. he was checking his temp to find his normal. so we, meaning the male parental unit, thinks he LOST.IT! can you imagine. lost in our house? the horror. it was not put back in it's cover and returned to it's home so that is how we know it is lost.

i secretly, kinda, might think it was me who MISPLACED it. not lost. i will find it. just not now. when we need it. to take wise one's high temp.

i know...first off i need the thing and then i am kinda letting my kid take the fall. kinda.

we have an old timey one. it's not like we have nothing. just not the new digital one. cause it was not put in it's cover and returned to it's home.

and by the way i get all confused: it's, its, it is - it's WHAT DO I USE PEOPLE! i slept in second grade when we were learning this!!!!

oh and i am kinda looking for it but not really cause i know i won't find it when i need it. but it will turn up when i don't need it so why waste my time now when i know it won't be found. and lets just say that stressed someone out in the house more than me not putting things back.

and...if you knew me ten years ago.....well i was kinda a neat freak and now not.so.much. i did the whole kid thing and tried to work in the neat freak thing......and well.....it didn't really work for me.

lyn

feb 12th 1973

the family story is The Chosen One's mother went to the dr. thinking she was going thru menopause only to find out she was expecting. she had four boys at home, the youngest being ten. several months later, The Chosen One was born. son number five.

he was born for me. already picked for me. already picked to be a daddy. already picked to love this family.

God does not make mistakes. even when we mere mortals think he did. i think i picked him and he picked me. laughable really. we were made for each other. before we even took our first breath. our story was written.

i am thankful He does not make mistakes. i am thankful He knows what we need eons before we do.

i am thankful for february 12th thirty-eight years ago and my Chosen One.

lyn

word word remember the word

cherish today:

excitement over books

sweet shy smiles

i'm sorry said whole heartily from rowdy one

watching him pack.....his ways.....his movements.....his grin when he sees me watching

sticking with me

so the whole junkyard of good ideas has stuck with me. it has been creeping into my thoughts all day. i still laugh about it. it is such a perfect way to describe me.

this was a good idea......it took me to february to get it done BUT i completed it. i got to may and was happy. was gonna go about my business telling myself i would finish it later but come on, who am i kidding? i would get to may and then.....well it would end up in the junkyard. so i pushed thru and completed it all the way to december.

the thought, when i purchased it, was to use it for my "one word" instead of the picture, which it was made for. i still like the idea and i even went back and completed january. i snuck in "CHERISH" on each page.....reminder of sorts.

HA! take that!

lyn

reading

i came across this book at the library book sale.

have read nineteen pages. depressing, painful, amazing, life shattering, inspirational.

at one point i thought i would just put this book down and not finish, it was just to hard. then i thought, if this man lived the life and wrote about the life then who the hell am i to think it is to painful for me to read.

that is when i realized this is really a powerfully inspirational book.

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" by Jean-Dominique Bauby

lyn

dusting things

i did a little housekeeping on the old blog. i tried to rearrange, make it more tidy. in doing so i laughed at myself....several times. in 2010 i started out with my one word....jan and feb good. then it's like i drop off the face of the earth. that made me laugh. that is kinda how i live my life. kinda how my house looks. i start and then get distracted. humm, sounds like rowdy one. HA!

i live to fast. have to many balls in the air. think i must do this and that to live. when really i am missing out on the "living" part by trying to live the good life, read the important books, decorate the living room for comfort, complete my degree, teach my kids the best way, make my relationship top notch, create the bestest diet and healthy recipes and lifestyle.

i think i read to much. and not the things i should spend my time to read. sometimes i read magazines, books and blogs and get wonderful ideas and think i MUST go out and DO IT!!! anyone else like that? trying to keep up and just get more behind. i never saw myself as a keep up with the joneses type and i still don't but i do think this is, a type of spin off from that idea.

we have so much at our fingertips in this day and age. i can not read it and think, wonderful idea, oh how clever. no no i feel i much put it in to action. basically my house is a "good idea" junkyard. hang on for a sec.......that. made. me. laugh. i think i am putting that on my fridge.

a good idea junkyard....sums it up so well!!!!!! i even feel a bit lighter having named it!

funny. funny. funny. that is my life.

my ah ha moment.....of sorts.

i will have to think on this a bit long. i think i am on to something.

lyn

icy

so small a word that can bring such havoc.

i am referring to our current state outside but icy words, emotions and body language can bring havoc as well. three little letters.

outside the icy-ness kept my husband at work all night and the rest of my family in flannel pjs all day. under quilts. with 2 pairs of socks. that kind of icy.

but now as i glance out the kitchen window i see the sun. it is 448 in the afternoon and this is the first time i have seen it today. we are not used to this weather at. all. i am not sure my metal state could handle it for months on end. maybe i would adjust. maybe i would just become a hermit.

now i understand what basements are for.....when the kids haven't been able to go outside and get their energy out just send them to the basement! mine are doing fine so far but my little ones at school are paying a high price for no recess for two weeks. cold, wet and now ice.

cherish today: warmth of house and body and spirit; brothers playing more than arguing; no pipes freezing; no electricity going out; no place i have to be.

lyn

how i feel

i am COLD!

the end......

lyn

we are having a very cold cold snap for our parts....and well...i am not really liking my feet being cold ALL.THE.TIME.

cuddle bug

last night chosen one stayed with his dad. first night home after knee surgery.

wise one was staying with a friend.

that meant rowdy one and i shared a big ole king size bed.

we both enjoyed it.

he may be ten but he will not pass up a chance to cuddle with his momma!

i feel a change a coming.....

that is what wise one told me today. and then he asked if he could wear his purple "church" shirt to school. the polo? yeah that one! (him thinking it a church only shirt cracked me up)

let's go back in history.

at 3 - sleeveless all the time.
at 5 - pants with jacket all. the. time.
at 8 - shirts with skulls and nothing else printed on them. (seriously)
at 9 - t shirts only. not a skull in sight please!
at 10 - WHITE t shirts only. they can have something on them but white only.
now at 12 - polo shirts are the going thing!

i smiled last night when he told me "he felt a change a coming".....these are all changes i can handle. the driving change, no...no. the dating change...please no. the college change, have mercy on my heart. the serious girlfriend home for christmas change....flash before my eyes. the buying a house, having a kid change.....i am long gone now.

change is good. some might say. i say....depends on the change. the change of shirts is about as much change as i want from him at the moment.

well and maybe the change of him picking up his shoes!

cherishing the sweetness......

lyn

amazed

i am always amazed at the light in my kinder kids eyes when they see art. it fascinates me. they are curious. they get close to see. they ask questions. they state what they see or what they think is out of place. they oohhh and aaahhhh. they are natural art enthusiast. naturals. they take it all in. then try to figure it out. they laugh out loud. they know what to respect and be quiet.

i put several monet pictures on the wall from a small calendar. i have one little boy who i will see just staring at them. any free time he is at the wall. staring. thinking. kneeling. what is he thinking, i wonder. what does he see? what does he like? how is this shaping his brain or opinion or critical thinking?

i will never know if this exposure is helping them. but i think it is. i think they are the better for this introduction. for many, it may be the only glimpse of art......other than tattoos. the only part i hate is that i have to censor what i show them. i understand but i don't like it. of course i would not show them inappropriate things but i love the Birth of Venus and my kid kids did a in depth study on it. wise one was 6-7 and rowdy one was 4-5, so the same age as my kinder kids. they appreciated the beauty. and they saw that uncovered things are not something to laugh at or immediately think inappropriate. oh to be able to share it all.

i will share what i can, for now....

lyn

to cherish

cherish was an interesting word for me to pick. it was the one that kept popping into my head so i went with it. it was odd to me. not something i say in my normal conversations. cherish. i cherish you. nope never said that to anyone. i cherish this. again, don't think i ever said that. but the idea to cherish things spoke to me. to cherish........i actually looked up the definition to make sure i understood it.

cherish - to cling fondly to, to care tenderly for, to hold dear.

yep, that is what i was looking for.

this week i have noticed i am in a moment and cherish pops into my head. a whisper of sorts, "cherish this" "pay attention" "stop, take this all in"

i have been listening.

- a classroom of 5 yr olds singing as they do their artwork
-deep talks with the resident 12 yr old, don't happen as much as they used to
-a smile from chosen one
-a hug, from anyone
-a plead to be petted, four legged one truly calms my heart
-dinner, together, at our table
-sunrise

i am listening......

lyn

prayin

tonight as i drove my boys home, after a very long day of school and college and family obligations, we heard Better Than a Hallelujah by amy grant. i love this song. i sing it loudly when i hear it. as i was driving i lost my breath.....the soldier's plea not to let him die.........



i lost my breath and my boys saw. tears started flowing. we sung the rest of the song. we pulled in the driveway and i grabbed their hands......



Heavenly Father,


we lift up every soldier in every land fighting for freedom and justice. we may not understand the whys and hows and time frame. we may not agree with things that are set in motion but we lift all these soldiers up to you. for protection. for comfort. for guidance. when lonely nights happen and tears for home flow, hold them. when fear enters their bodies, hold them. when pain, emotional or physical occurs, hold them.

In Jesus Name We Pray. Amen.

and then we sat. for less than a minute no one moved. our teary eyes met at the same time and i cherished them.

lyn

chance to win

go over to house of smiths to check out the silhouette giveaway!

http://bit.ly/f76z6v

mlk

today has been a rough day.

tempers flare.

tears flow.

voices raise.

hearts break...a bit.

after things have calmed and exhaustion sets in...i wander outside to the garage. there i see a MOUNTAIN of laundry. and laugh........and laugh......and LAUGH. and in times like these laughter turns to tears. tears, tiredness. and comfort.

i have a family that doesn't always get along and work together. i have a family that goes thru to many clothes, that have to be washed. i have a family that gets annoyed with each other. i have a family....so many things i could say. but the most important is............i have a family.

to love.

to comfort.

to believe in.

that's good enough for me.

i am blessed.

lyn

words to remember

not nice, not true, not necessary, then don't say it.

or think it.

or wish it.

or live it.

ho hum

i am continuing to "release" into 2011. AND i have "cherish"ed quite a bit too. i am stopping to notice more. to listen more. to see more.

i am trying to grow. i am trying my hardest to grow. i think i like it. i am excited.

lyn

new year

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end ~ semisonic

word word

still deciding on the word of 2011 and still living by the word of 2010.

"release" did me well this year. today we released A LOT from the garage.

throughout the year release meant letting go...of feelings, of plans, of emotions, of ideas, of stuff, of people, of me, of expectations, of stuff, of clothes, of paper, of anger, of stuff, of control, of family heirlooms, of dishes, of sadness, of control, of firm grips, of things i thought about myself and others, of me running the show, of toys, of christmas items, of shoes, of family.

you get the idea. lots of things fell into my release attitude. some were easy some so very very hard. but all for the better. truly. i plan to continue to live my release attitude. in hopes that at some point it will be i never "get" it/them in the first place. i pass it/them by the first time so that i do not have to "release" later.

i am really thinking of "organize" or "cherish" for 2011. organize seems so one way but really i could use it could help me in so many ways. not just my tupperware cabinet. but my thoughts, emotions, actions, closet, tupperware cabinet, time...you get the idea. and cherish. a much needed reminder for me. i need to STOP and cherish every single moment. i think cherish is more important. i think. yeah. it is. i will cherish this year. i can always organize. cherish...well i don't need to pass that up.

i didn't expect to make up my mind in a blog post but i did.

CHERISH it is.

lyn

coming down

i think i am coming down from the holiday high. getting close to time to head back to the working world. not that wonderful stretch of many many days off ahead of me. just a couple or so. for some reason the new year is a bit depressing for me. trying to put my finger on that one. trying to understand why. trying to get my emotions in check so they don't get the best of me. is it that i had so many hopes for 2010 and now that the end is near i see how little i accomplished? is it the new year means time is flying by more quickly than i would like? is it i am just a half glass empty kinda gal that has been hiding out for 38 years? or is it that i just exist and don't live fully?

hope i can figure this one out. i would like to shift my outlook at this time of year.

i really am rich beyond means, why so blue then?

lyn

perfect

you're already good enough, you already have more than enough, and you're already perfect.

thank you zen habits!

chilly

i am writing this post on my back porch in the chill and the dark.

why? cause the fab chosen one gifted me a laptop for christmas.

that's why.

the end.

lyn

one word

what will my one word be for 2011?

2010 was release. i think i did well with it. it fit. it worked. it was what i needed.

this year.....what fits?

cherish

comfort

peace

enjoy

stop

breathe

rejoice

clean

choice

moment

so many words. so many emotions. so many things to tackle.....with just one word.

lyn

gifts

we received so many gifts this christmas.......so many. nothing we needed to survive our lives. nothing that we could not live without. nothing that if we didn't get we would have not made it.

but so many need things like that. things to survive. things to continue on. water.....food.....a touch of comfort and love.

we enjoyed lots of food.....lots. we enjoyed love of family and friendship. we enjoyed conversation and touches of kindness. we enjoyed laughter. we enjoyed the comforts of warmth and in the case of texas christmas a touch of coolness when needed.

as i sit here typing this in my comfy recliner with the ceiling fan on and each of my family enjoying a computer device i realize if i cleared even half of my living room we would still be overly comfortable. if i removed everything, we would still enjoy heat and air, soft carpet and each other.

will i think of this wonderful time when i see the tiny snowflake on my charm bracelet? that was the intention.

when i see the beautiful angel portrait that i really wanted, will see calm me and bring me back to this time of "peace on earth, good will toward men"?

when i pull my new mixing bowls out will i be transported to the wonderful comfort food we shared? like the delicious chicken and dumplings i am eating now.

every time i get on my new laptop will i be thankful for the computer age and enough money to splurge?

i should remember these things. i want to remember these things. i want to be as thankful and in awe of the times i am experiencing. i want to live that way.

as i go over these things i am secretly preparing for the new year. setting a plan to live. change a habit. create a better me....time.....experience. no setting out to lose weight. committing to cut out this or that. promising to cut back. nope, this is more important. more of a change that is needed. more of a balancing act than anything i have set out to do. no i do this and i will "GET" this. just be aware of living really. that is what i will "get". and that is more than plenty. more than i deserve. more than most get.

lyn

August 2010

Haven't felt like writing much lately. Life, happens. And happens again. And then sneaks up and happens over and over.

I did want to document something about my family. Our sleep patterns.

I can fall asleep on a subway in rush hour traffic. I can sleep anytime and anywhere. One day this may change but for now....it is grand. The Chosen One hates it.

The Chosen One has the hardest time. He hears dust settle at the neighbors house and is awake for hours. He sees a light in the closet, the way back corner under the dressup suitcase, you know the one you forgot you had, yeah he can see the light all the way back in that corner, under piles and he is up for hours. He tosses and turns. He sleeps this way and that way. He has to have his fan on. He has to have his feet covered. He has to have everything just so...so he can sleep for 30 minutes before something wakes him up.

I hurt for him.....and roll over and go to sleep.

growing.....

I am not sure I like his tone..........

Or some of the friends he chooses..............

Or the way he treats his brother sometimes.........

I am not sure I like his reading choices but I still read them with him.......

Or his homework habits...........

Or the fact that he is sleeping without a shirt now..............

He is growing. He is working hard at this growing. He is changing before my eyes. Most days this saddens me. I want to bottle him at 5 or so.

He is becoming his own person. The person he will be. He is being guided by Him.....I know this. I pray for this. I have faith in this.....

He still calls me mommy.

He still wants me to tuck him in.

He still wants me to talk/read to him while he takes a shower.

He is still my little boy....only with bigger feet and bigger ideas!

lyn

Second Month

This second month of 2010 finds me sad......mostly for all the couples around me that are breaking up/on the verge/deeply struggling. I count seven off the top of my head. I am sure if I made a list it would be more. Some are very very close to me and others are not. But I am sad for all.

In keeping with me one little word of RELEASE I am praying daily and releasing the sadness that I feel. It is alot for me to do this. It is a huge baby step for me to make this happen. Pray and RELEASE. This is for my own mental health. The sadness of what I feel seems to stick to me like glue in times like these. I must RELEASE. It is not easy. It is not simple. It is not natural.

But I will............

Definition

Release:

::::liberation - the act of liberating someone or something

::::let go of

::::free from something that holds back, binds or fastens

::::a process that liberates or discharges something

Chatter

Rowdy One talks alot....and usually when I am listening to my favorite song, or reading the best part of a book....when I am deep in conversation with someone or myself, when I want to hear every drop of the rain....or when I desperately need quiet. Rowdy One is talking.......

Normally it is some fact that I could care less about or a question I have already answered at least a million times. Demands, arguing or trying to get his point across, a point that many times makes no sense at all.

I try to listen to what I am wanting to listen to and tune him out. I try. And sometimes I do.

But sometimes I don't and out of the millions of words he speaks in a day....sometimes they are the sweetest words I have ever heard. Sometimes they are wise beyond his years. They are funny or tender or smart or helpful.

I must release what I think I should hear and listen to Him thru him.

Release my ideas of what my ears want to hear and hear what I am meant to hear.

I have missed alot doing it my way. This year I will do it His way.

Release and in turn receive.

Release

Word for 2010.......

Trying to keep my head up.......

Very tired at the moment. Body as well as mind and spirit. Lots going on in my house and my mind. Rowdy one is trying my patience. ADHD is very difficult to live with. VERY difficult at the moment. Stress fills every crack. I long for a day of calmness. I long for a day of no yelling or complaining or arguing just to get teeth brushed or clothes on.

And the whole while I long for that day I also know that he was given to me. A precious gift. That at the moment I would like to wrap back up and send back. But no, God gave him to me. He is mine to raise while here on earth. I must muster up the courage, patience, love and follow Him where He leads me. He lead me to this child and I will trust that I can handle it, with His help. Sometimes I do feel abandoned. Sometimes I am mad. Sometimes I am so very tired. Tapped out from a rough day. But He gives me sleep to rest. And gives me His word to strengthen myself with.

I will continue........another day.

But I am very tired.

Big sighs........

everday I am encountered with more sad, troublesome news.....

divorce, separation, illness, death, surgery, arguments

troubled hearts.........

everyday.........for several days that have turned to weeks.............

I am grasping from the refresh button.

A sandwich.........

I am a pretty picky eater. I don't think I am but when I am around others.....well yes I am.

My hamburger......well done, with cheese and extra pickles. The other stuff if just a bonus.

Chili....my mom's PERIOD!

Fried chicken.......spicy. If you go through all that trouble make it good!

Mushrooms......NEVER! EVER!

Iced Tea strong and slightly sweet.

Dr. Pepper...never straight out of the can.

Sandwiches.

I like fresh bread.....whatever you got but make it good and fresh, white, wheat, sourdough, 7 grain....

Mayo and mustard or honey mustard or just mayo.....makes no difference.

Greens of some sort.....spinach, romaine....iceberg......just go with it.

Meat....ham, turkey, thick or thin......

And of course chips on the side.....something crunchy! That is a must.

Now to the part that I really have a hard time waivering on.......cheese.

Guess what? I like Kraft cheese slices. Memories from my childhood, maybe. Not real cheese, who cares. I want Kraft cheese slices on my sandwich.

Guess what we were out of when I went to make my sandwich tonight?

KRAFT CHEESE SLICES!

I had shredded Velveeta.......a block of cheddar.....some Muenster.

I chose the Velveeta. I sprinkled it on my bread. It was just not the same.

Yes, I am a picky eater.

Guess what....I sleep with two pillows and one needs to have a satin pillowcase homemade by my mother on it! So sue me!

Lyn

Albertine

Brooke Fraser's Albertine. You can hear it over at Katie's (go to the bottom, her play list) or google it but find it and listen to it.

L.I.S.T.E.N. to it.

Favorite verse............

now that I have seen, I am responsible

and

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I have been

This applies to any of us. To any injustice/illness/homeless/hungry we see.

We must stop waiting for someone else to do it/take care of it/fix it. We are all human. We all feel pain. We all feel happiness. Black , white. American, Indian, German. No matter the continent we were born or the language we speak.

Now I know I may sound all Pollyanna...I know we can't just run out and fix the entire world. But we can make a difference to one person. We can make a difference to a family. We can make a difference. We can and we must!

I have seen a warm word change the mood in an instant. I have seen a new pair of warm socks brighten even the darkest day. I have seen a smile lift a spirit. I have seen human touch ease a stress. I have seen what money can do if used with love in the heart. I have seen what a team can do for one that one could have never done alone. I have seen what warmth and love and His guidance can do. We can all do it. And if we all do it it will change the world.

Favorite at the moment.....

Cinnamon Apples:

Apples, any shape size or variety. We use about 6-7 at a time. Peel them and slice them thin, thick, cube whatever you like. Melt butter in a skillet...plenty of butter. Add apples. Let them sit a bit on high heat. Really get them sizzling. Then sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on them. Toss and sprinkle some more. Nudge heat down just a bit and let them sit and sizzle. As they start to get to the firmness/mushiness you like then cover them with brown sugar. And let them sit on low heat. Serve in a bowl, this is how we like them. They could be over ice cream. We have had them with biscuits in the morning. YUMMY!

Make them they way your family likes...more or less of something........

lyn

At this moment.......

Wise One:

is an Aggie
loves cereal
sleeps a bit more
wants Ovaltine and milk
loves scrambled eggs with cheese
is trying rice and at times mashed potatoes
has tasted more things than before
brushes his teeth every morning with no reminder, thinks brushing at night is useless
washes his hands almost obsessively
smiles freely
wants his hair cut short
wears only shorts
leaves his socks everywhere!
loves to tell blonde jokes and read the Sunday funnies


Rowdy One:

is a Longhorn
is enjoying PB&J after being a bit burned out
loves black eyed peas
won't eat toast or bacon or anything crispy for that matter
would eat seafood at every meal
is stingy with smiles
never remembers to brush his teeth or turn out a light
is very helpful
almost burned out on oatmeal
now notices when his nails need to be trimmed
wears only jeans
makes note of every quarter he sees...what's on the back!
likes puzzles

They change quickly....must remember to document.

Why he is The Chosen One.....

On any given day I can count at least 25 reasons that I married my husband, in a matter of seconds. Little everyday things that make us fit. And then there are the times when I sit back and truly let it soak in that he was Chosen for me by Him. The day to day I seem to forget that. It sometimes takes the big moments to remind me.

Friday afternoon.....

Me: "any chance you could get a truck and trailer?"

Chosen One: "for????"

Me: "well, so we could run up to Austin (four hours drive one way) and pick up a couple pieces of furniture so Auntie A doesn't have to store them."

Chosen One: "a couple?"

Me: "yeah, a ..... few......things she just can't seem to part with....and we could use around here.....and it would save her a bundle on a storage unit....and....yeah....a few."

Chosen One: "I'll see what I can do."

With in five minutes he calls back with a truck and trailer lined up.

We head out early Saturday morning. Make it to Austin by lunch. Visit and start to load. First a bed.....full sized bed rail and mattress........

Chosen One: "where are we putting this?

Me: "oh if we don't use it I will find someone....maybe niece L." Keep walking or he will ask more questions I have no answers for.

Then we load a wooden rocker, a side table, a cedar chest, a trunk, a dining room table, a lamp, an oak table with leaves, a chest of drawers and dresser, a twin sized headboard and foot board a plant, some odds and ends.........two book shelves, and a partridge in a pear tree!

We head out with much more than a couple of things. But all really good stuff!

Fast forward a couple of hours. Sky full of rain. Pull in to raunchy truck stop to buy tarps. Seventy bucks later and a big explanation to Wise One and Rowdy One about what all those things for sale on the wall of the bathroom where(!!!!) (note:they were not feminine hygiene products...thankyouverymuch!)get back on the road and then run into a hail storm. HAIL STORM!!! Rain we can't even see in. HAIL!

Finally make it home. Unload....a few things we ran to Austin to pick up that Auntie A can't seem to part with......and we could use around here....and it would save her a bundle on a storage unit....and...yeah....a few.

He chose him for me. Long ago. Knowing that a hot day in August 2009 I would need to be gently reminded of that. He chose him. For me. He chose a man with a happy heart. Patience and enough love to live with me forever. Especially when I call on a Friday afternoon asking for a truck and trailer.

lyn

Clouds

Today has been a day to watch the clouds and do nothing else.

lyn

August 08

This morning I thought it would be fun to look into my pictures and see what we were doing this month last year. OH...A farm's market visit I have forgotten about. It was toward the end of the month, in downtown Houston, hot as blazes with Wise One taking all the pictures! FUN memories!

lyn

Book on the bedside table........

"Every one of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors has an energy
consequence, for better or for worse."

The Power of Full Engagement

Oh, how he crushes me......

Rowdy One - "sometimes when I am having a hard time understanding how long the world has been here......I see how full a cemetary is and understand......people have been on earth a long time."

for an 8 year old.........that is alot.........he was very seriously and respectful and.....very serious when he said this.........

lyn

Tooth Fairy according to Wise One

What a storyteller he is........

Rowdy One has lost two teeth in the last month. This last tooth inspired a story for him by his brother.

"Your tooth is gravely ill. The Tooth Fairy is a tooth medic and she has come to recover the tooth and take it away to repair it. Once she does she will pass in on to a baby that needs a tooth. She will leave you money for you tooth donation."

Wise One tells this to his wide eyed brother with a big ole smile on his face.

He is my child. I once told Wise One that fireworks were set off my trolls that were excited. They carried them all the way into the sky for all to enjoy!

lyn

Surprise

Wise One left me a very sweet and loving note on my bedside table.........

Basically about how I am the bestest mommy in the world and how much he loves me...............

And well, he melted my heart yet again and especially now since he is 11 and we have been having a rough go of it as mommy and son................

lyn

He is telling me something........

You know when you hear a new word and then you hear it everywhere?

I have been doing some soul searching.......God searching..........awe searching............and I keep stumbling on journaling.

As a form of prayer. As a form of getting my emotions out. As a form of leaving a footprint. As a form of learning about myself.

This is my latest stumblilng.......and I am listening.

lyn

On a mission......

a reading mission that is.

Not the Religious Type: Confessions of a Turncoat Atheist

Some of it was over my head. Part of it bogged my mind down with other stuff. But the parts that didn't fall into those categories really made me think. And ponder. And wonder.

So all in all....it was worth my time.

lyn

to digest.......

......a book completely can take some time. Every once in a while, for me, a book really does reach all the way to my soul. Way deep down. And when it does it may take me years to totally digest it. I may think of it daily for a while. Then weekly. Then daily some more. Then, maybe, not for sometime. Something will draw me back to it. And boom I am digesting more than I ever thought possible.

Ten Degrees of Reckoning by Hester Rumberg

That kind of book is what I just finished reading. The story is heart wrenching. Not heartbreaking. Not sad. Not tragic. Heart wrenching...............

It will stay with me.

lyn

Can we please have it in the house......

Simple rump roast recipe. Simple ingredients. Simple roast. Simple crock pot. Always missing just one ingredient. One. Usually the major one. Oh just improvise, you say. My brain is to tired to improvise.

Just one simple rump roast recipe with all the ingredients in my house.

I do not ask for much FOOD GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lyn

As they grow.....

they still enjoy:

picture books ~ current favorites The Hidden Alphabet by Laura Vaccaro Seeger, Doggie Dreams by Nancy Kapp Chapman, The Pencil by Allan Ahlberg, Loveykins by Quentin Blake and The Twin Princes by Tedd Arnold, who always makes them laugh.

playing with playdoh.

building with Legos.

go fish, even when poker has been learned and perfected.

army men.

beanie babies.

It is so interesting to watch them. See them grow. See how their minds have matured. Some times they play with these items just like they did when they were younger but many times they have moved up a level and worked these items into their world now.

Picture books are read and laughed at and then pronounced perfect for Cousin L or Baby E who are years younger. They read and enjoy but also think of others to share this with. They will make fine fathers someday. Playdoh is just enjoyed, many times, for the texture. It truly calms children. Rolling it over and over in their hands. Squeezing hard with frustration, touching softly with unhappiness. Surprise side effects for a timeless toy. Legos still test them. Challenge them. Encourage them. Go Fish, some days they just need something totally repetitious to give the mind a break. This fits in nicely. Army men = boys and stories. I can not remember how many battles have been fought, people saved, things rescued, bad guys squished. Beanie Babies are cared for, tucked in and cuddled. As well as thrown up in the air with glee. Such forgiving animals they are.

My boys are maturing. They are growing taller. They are eating and sleeping more. I am so glad they are still comforted by toys from their toddler years. Makes a mother's heart hurt just a tad bit less.

lyn

Weekend Read

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas Wonderful, haunting read. If one is looking for a true fact filled story about the Holocaust then move on from this book. If one is looking for a fictional view from a child's eyes then read it. I am tossing it around to give to Wise One. He is just now asking and understanding this time in history. Frankly, do any of us truely understand this time?

lyn

at this moment.....

I am so tired.

The end.

Laughter

As I sit here on the computer I hear, right outside the window, my husband's laugh. The sweetest thing I have heard today.

Playing football with the boys......teaching.....talking....learning......and LAUGHING!

lyn

Reading and thinking.

"Part of the allowable leisure in a bookstore comes from the product it sells. Books are slow. They require time; they are written slowly, published slowly, and read slowly."

"There may be five thousand copies of this particular book in the world, or fifty thousand, or half a million, all exactly alike, but this one is as rare as if it had been made solely for us. We open to the first page, and the universe unfolds, once upon a time."

"For the past several days I've had the sudden and general urge to buy a new book"

(I always have this urge)

The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop a memoir, a history by Lewis Buzbee

I just started this book and it has already swept me into another place. Funny thing about books, they have that power and it still surprises me.

lyn

All About Cookbooks

I am on a bit of a kick.....a reading cookbooks kick!

Several that have caught my fancy:

Cookies and Brownies by Alice Medrich (Good but I can't figure out why it is $80!)

The Breakfast Book by Marion Cunningham

Hallelujah! The Welcome Table by Maya Angelou

I am the type of person that likes to read a book from cover to cover. Like the book jacket, the table of contents, the acknowledgements and anything in the back. I find the best things this way. The extras, the back stories. Well cookbooks are no different. I rather like to read them before I try any of the recipes. Kinda like I have to size the author up before I know whether or not I want to try the recipes. If I can relate to the author then I can relate to the recipes.

I have two more stacks......the journey continues.

lyn

The bug named Flu....

What do you get when you mix two parents who took the flu shot and two kids who didn't?

TWO KIDS WITH THE FLU! It ain't aerospace science here people.

They have very high fevers......104.1. Loud, painful sounding coughs, grumpy little moods and the will to move no further than the living room. One of them even watched TV with no sound. It was to much effort to turn the sound on.........seriously!

Both are taking Tamiflu, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, Gatorade and the occasional Popsicle....."but nothing tastes good....."

And the parents......washing blankets and sheets, cooking whatever remotely sounds good to eat and catching up on movies.

lyn

Memories

I found this picture on our old camera. It is a courthouse on the way to Lake Whitney in 2006. I think in Whitney but I am not sure. I took is as we were driving by. I love buildings, old and new. I think I am going to go through my photos and post several of the buildings I have liked.

**as my trusty commenter helped me out.....the courthouse is in Hillsboro.

lyn

Woodpecker

I work in a old 1932 two story house. From my office, on the second floor, I have a wonderful view of a large, very old, oak tree.

This was dancing around on it today. Tiny little thing. In the sense that most woodpeckers I have seen are the big, red headed variety.

Tomorrow I am bringing my camera.

lyn

Year End

As I browse around blog world I realize......I did not blog much. And I regret that. I regret not being about to look back on my thoughts. I regret not documenting...stuff. So to end the year and start off a new I pledge to document and blog. For all that is happy, all that bugs me, all that happens in our little house.

Because I miss not being able to look back.

lyn

2008 Holiday Favorites

This scent just sings Christmas to my family. We have the candles and diffusers.

I use the hand soap, dish soap and the counter spray. Makes cleaning a bit brighter.

Labels

What do you do with that......ADHD?

What do you do with that information?

What is that?

High IQ and ADHD at seven.

That is what is consuming my head these days.

A child that talks non stop. That complains and whines and giggles and says the sweetest things. A child that battles and stomps his feet and his the wall and gives the tightest hugs and the nicest neck rubs. A child that refuses to pick up his socks but wants to kindly fix you a sandwich.

I have yet to wrap my brain around ADHD and what it means to my family.

Medication is the route we will be proposed on Wednesday. And tonight I would have grabbed it. I am not sure what I will feel like on Wednesday.

My stomach and head hurt with all the information. I want to be at a stand still but I have to be in motion.

Some think it is no big deal. Just medicate and move on. That would be easy. But not me....I worry, fret, pray (which means I should not worry and fret). This is my child. My smart, sweet, witty child.

When I see my child's classroom all I want to do it bring him home. No wonder he is distracted! Have you seen a second grade classroom lately? TO MUCH STIMULATION!

When I hear the teachers comments I want to cry and scream. At the same time.

The world will not accommodate him. I must protect and teach him.

And help him to be confidant. And funny. And to seek knowledge. And feel normal in all situations.

To hold his head up high even when his impulsive nature gets him in trouble.

I want him to be strong and peaceful. In a world that will not accommodate him.

Just Finished...

Read:

Broken for You by Stephanie Kallos loved it, the characters became friends and I was sad when the book ended. it was a wonderful and enchanting escape.

An Affair to Remember by Christopher Anderson what a completely unconditional love story. i want to go and rent all the Spencer-Hepburn movies. i have seen several and but can watch them again and again, now with a little back story.

Watched:

The Eye Don't. Waste. Your. Time. horrible acting.

Mr. Brooks chosen one and i liked this one alot! good acting. good story. suspense. drama. i thought william hurt did a wonderful job!

lyn

Hurricane Season

When you live on the Texas Gulf Coast:

~you get tropical storm/hurricane days not snow days

~you don't want your freezer stocked to full June - Nov, it is very hard to see a freezer full of food go bad due to no electricity

~signs on the highway flash "Hurricane Season is here. Always keep your gas tank full."

~you have a planned evacuation route

~when you buy a house you also get storm shutters

~your kids are used to seeing boxes of pictures ready to be loaded

~you have more canned goods, beef jerky, peanut butter and crackers than you could ever eat stocked on the top shelf of the pantry

~you buy water and batteries everytime you go to the store, whether you need them or not

lyn

New Motto

Remember - that a fork is not a shovel.

Repeat as necessary.

Hayley....as in Mills, please!

We have been on a bit of a Hayley Mills kick:

The Moon - Spinners

Pollyanna

The Trouble with Angels

On hold at the library:

Summer Magic

The Flame Trees of Thika

Cry of the Penguins


Already seen many moons ago that may be watched again:

That Darn Cat

Parent Trap

The heat is slowly letting up around here. We had several days of rain which equals tall grass, mosquitos and mugginess by the boat loads but it was a bit cooler on the days the rain was here. We are slowly coming back to life after one HOT summer.

Lyn

On older Olympian

Oksana Chusovitina

She was awesome to watch and see out there with sixteen year olds.

Lyn

Olympics

If you missed it then find a link and watch it. The opening ceremonies were amazing. Breathtaking. Our family watched it and had several discussions about China, the history, the people. Then we watched the nations enter and again had several discussions.

It was a great evening. It gave me goose bumps. I hope my children will always think the Olympics are a big deal. Nations coming together. Athletics facing incredible odds just represent and show their country's pride.

Olympic Opening Protocol

The Official Site

List of Nations

Lyn

More movies

I know.....sounds like a do nothing else but watch movies. Surprisingly, I have been on a pretty good workout regime, make it to work, keep my house up and the Chosen One happy and still find time to watch movies.

Atonement Solid A. Call me a romantic but I really enjoyed this movie. I knew nothing going into it so it was a surprise.

Reign Over Me This was a recommendation by the library lady. It was truly touching to me. A male friendship story. Even though I am not an Adam Sandler fan I liked this movie. Both actors did I fine job.

Beowulf Didn't even finish it. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood.

The Good Shepard One word. Boring!

I wanna be.....

Wise One told me tonight that he wants to be a stained glass maker. He wants to actually make the glass that they use in the beautiful windows. Not necessarily make the art of the windows but the glass to make the art of the windows. He is an interesting creature that Wise One.

Rowdy One wants to just make it out of his childhood alive. He is has been exhausting me with his rowdiness. He is R.O.W.D.Y.

Watched:

Dan In Real Life I give it a B. Very predictable, nothing deep, made me laugh several times and had a sweet ending. Not a waste but nothing earth shattering. Just what I needed today.

Little Miss Sunshine Can I tell you how much I loved this movie? I watched it twice before I had to return it. Laughed out loud and LOUD. Loved the sarcasm. The use of the f word was certainly not something you want the kids to hear. When the door fell of the VW I thought I was gonna pee in my pants. Not for everyone but surely for me! Loved the humor!!

Amazing Grace Wise One and I watched this together. Brought up some good conversation about the slave trade and about choices and courage. Spurred some research and was a good jump start in to a more in depth look at this period.

I have 6 more movies waiting at the library. It is so hot out that sometimes this and a late evening bike ride are all that can be expected.

Lyn

Human Experience

For no other reason than the "human experience" we should watch these movies:

A Mighty Heart

Into the Wild

We should not watch these to entertain us but rather so that we can meet someone that has experiences so very different than us. So that we can realize that not everyone lives a life like us, in a place like us, with experiences like us. The world is big and vast. Things happen everyday that will never touch our world. But they do touch others.

lyn

A new name.....

yesterday i was mommy....

today mom.......

it is very hard to hear. i knew it would come. i couldn't be mommy forever. but mom...it's a little hard to hear. i knew when wise one decided it was time that rowdy one would immediately call me mom as well.

mom......just another sign my baby boys are growing into young men.

lyn

Children's Books

These are a few goodies we found at the library last week.

Scribbleville by Peter Holwitz Love it! My boys totally got the bigger picture. It was a great conversation.

Art Auction Mystery By Anna Nilsen While the actual text was little overwhelming, it is comic book style, the boys loved to examine the art and look at the details.

An Egg Is Quiet by Dianna Aston This is a beautiful book. Enough said.

Lyn

Time

It just astounds me how quickly time moves.

I am pretty smart cookie, but I am still shocked when I hear the date and realize that the month is almost gone and you can't remember what filled many of the days.

What does that mean?

~am I not paying attention?

~am I missing something? should I miss it? will I know I missed it?

~am I just existing when I should be living?

~do I need to change something?

All of these things cloud my thoughts like a fog.

I am turning a bit inward to find the answer.

The blessings for which we hunger are not to be found in
other places or people. These gifts can only be given to you by
yourself. They are at home in the hearth of your soul.

John
O'Donohue

Lyn

Dinner by Wise One

Wise One had a bit of a frustrating day today. Overly tired. Annoying little brother. Not enough activity. So when I least want to be around him I pull him in the kitchen with me and put him to work and he makes dinner. His whole mood changes and he eats everything on his plate as well as learning some life skills.

Chicken Tetrazzini found at www.leftoverchicken.com (I will be using this site again!)

1 T flour
1 T butter
1 c milk
1/4 t salt
1/4 t pepper
1/4 t paprika
1/4 t dry mustard
few drops onion juice
1 t lemon juice
2 c cooked chicken, cut into pieces
3/4 c cooked spaghetti
1/4 lb shredded cheddar (can use Parmesan)
3/4 c bread crumbs

Make a medium white sauce of the flour, butter, milk and salt. Add the pepper, paprika, mustard and onion & lemon juices to the white sauce and heat to the boiling point. Add chicken & spaghetti. Fill 2 individual greased casseroles or one larger casserole with the mixture and top with cheese and bread crumbs. Bake in 400 degree oven for about 15 minutes or until the crumbs are very brown and ingredients are warmed through.

We used up the chicken from yesterday and talked of stretching the food budget. We did not have bread crumbs but we had one hamburger bun so we toasted it up and made our own. We discussed how some people don't like mustard but still cook with dry mustard and never notice. Same with the onion. Talked at length about a basic white sauce and how you can turn that into many meals. He did it all and he enjoyed the heck out of it.

Plus his daddy and brother thought it was very tasty so he was super proud!

Cook with a kid, even when he is acting his worst.

Lyn

Summer

Firsts

Wise one had a busy day.

He was fitted for glasses at 9:30 this morning and sitting in a chair for a mohawk at noon.

The glasses will take some adjusting. I dare say more so than the mohawk!

And I wish I could have taped the lady in the waiting area watching my ten year old get a mohawk. She gave me dirty glances and shook her head the whole time. She was disgusted and I would venture to say thinking that parents like me are dooming society!

What fun is summer if you can't live a little via a new haircut. And it is cute!!!!!!!

Just for today.....lighten up and live. It is hair lady! HAIR! This amazing thing that grows incrediable fast!!!!!!!!!

Lyn

Watching

I am Legend wasted 100 minutes on this one. I would NEVER want kids to see this or be around when this was being watched. Disturbing scenes of creatures. I was dissapointed because I like Will Smith.

The Best Game Ever Played two thumbs up. Nothing for parents to be concerned with, whether you have the younger set watching or the younger set will be in and out while you are watching. The under 10 group in our house loved it as much and the 30 and above group.

The Water Horse two thumbs up. It spawned a whole discussion of The Loch Ness Monster, which in our house is what we like. Movies that bring up discussion. There were many deep parts, war - death - letting go. This is one for families to watch together in case things need to be explained.

Lyn

Talking Thoughts

So Rowdy One comes to me tonight almost in tears....

"My head hurts. There are too many thoughts in there."

I tell him to go take a shower, relax and he will feel better. The thoughts will relax and each will find room and settle down for the night.

I hear something in the bathroom so I go to investigate and he has the radio turned up and he is singing at the TOP of his lungs, to every word, of

We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister

Yep, rasin' these young'un right with bad 80's rock and talking thoughts!!!!

Guys, I really could not make this stuff up.

Lyn

Eye Candy

I really want her!

And this, for the person who has EVERYTHING!

My birthday is coming up. This lamp would be nice.

Lyn

What was that Honey???

What stopped me in my tracks today? While reading the paper on line I hear Rowdy One on the keyboard. And I recognize the song!!!

Now for the past 6 years he has played "his" stuff. But since starting his piano lessons this year he has been learning more and more. His brother helps him as needed, since Wise one has been playing since he was five.

BUT today was the day for Rowdy One. A tune that was lovely to hear! He got it!!!!

Lyn

Stuff

Life. Just smacks you in the face sometimes.

Do you know how many posts I write in my head and then never have time to sit down and actually write? Do you know? A. LOT.

Do you know how many pictures I take to post and never do? Do you know? A. LOT.

Life is busy and as much as I want to document it here, I don't have time. Sadly.

I have recipes to post. Quotes. This and that and alot of STUFF.

At times I need to just get it out so it will quit swimming in my head and making me all seasick. Sometimes I just need to brush up on my typing skills since I mostly type numbers all day. And sometimes I really do have something important to say.

But mostly I don't have time to sit down. and type.

Damn.

Damn it.

Well, e is still sick and she is still making me laugh and think and wrap my head around one day her not being here to make me laugh and think.

Rowdy One and Wise One are still rowdy and wise. Beyond their years. Some days they even switch titles. That seems to be happening more and more these days.

I have a friend having a baby after being told FOREVER that it would never happen. Oh and guess what she is single. And should never have to explain that but she does and she will and well this world is still incredibly closed minded.

I have another friend who has found love after she totally swore it off. She is giddy in love with this man. They are shacking up in their old age and loving every minute.

Another friend is finding the way to her voice. She has a wonderful boyfriend who is walking with her on this journey of self discovery.

Life is moving along. Mostly rather quick like. Wise One is turning ten soon. OY!

Life. Just smacks you in the face sometimes.

Lyn

Chitter Chatter

Ever have a day when duct tape sounds like a good way to keep people from talking to you? Mainly the under nine crowd that lives with you. And keeps talking and arguing and trying to get the last word and did I say argue and talk and try to get the last word in. And oh yeah, they keep talking to you. CONSTANTLY. Like word after word. After word. And then another word. Oh and then one more word.

Ever think, it seemed like a good idea then to have them so close together?

Ever wonder how many times you must say brush your teeth before it gets done? And then realize it has been said all together AT LEAST 20 minutes and the teeth brushing lasted....7 seconds tops. Ever wonder?

Just wondering, maybe I am the only one.

Ever wonder where they get that tone and why you can't just clean it permanently out of their little sweet precious mouths before you decide to just forget the whole cleaning idea and grab the duct tape?

Well, that has been my day....what about you?

Lyn

Easter...eggs

Easter 2008

1. Lantana

2. Passion Vine

3. Fuschia

4. Hummingbird Vine

5. Hyacinth

All from my mother's yard on Easter.

lyn

Teaching to make future wives happy.

I taught a powerful lesson today. One that mystifies most homes. One that conjures up memories of past generations. One that seems to handpick who is born knowing how to do it.

I taught my boys how to change the toilet paper roll.

It was a very in depth discussion. With detailed steps. And while I do not know if I have set the bar too high, I hope they are able to one day master this skill.

A mother's dream. A future wife's early gift.

lyn

Math Genius

Rowdy One is 7 and almost a half.



We pull up to the local fast food joint for a chicken sandwich. (no comment on the choices of a stressed out mother and a hungry kid, amazing things happen a fast food line)



That will be a 1.08, drive up.



I reach down and grab a five and instantly hear....



She will owe you 3.92.



um....okay.



Um okay. That is all I could say as I am checking him by counting backwards in my a quiet as I can.



I learned to count change at 15. When I took my first job. And it took me awhile to master it.



He. is. seven. And he didn't hesitate.



lyn

Also

Just noticed I have been blogging for two years.

Happy Blog-o-versary!

I think I might do a give away.

lyn

So much to talk about, so little time.

Life has been flying by at a very rapid pace.

We had a bout with the flu, where the little people of the house were knocked on their keesters and where I caught up on some movie watching.

Miss Potter
Becoming Jane
The Jane Austen Book Club

We took a vacation over spring break to Sea World San Antonio.

And of course Easter just passed.

In between all this cooking, some good recipes I plan to share, books read, again will share, laundry, cleaning, working (tax season) and loads of interesting conversation.

I will leave you with this one between myself and Rowdy One on the day we were leaving for vacation:

Are you super excited?

Yes, I am really excited about the wax museum.

Really? Why?

I want to see Teddy Roosevelt.

blink. blink.

Who do you want to see mommy?

Brad Pitt.

More to come......

lyn

Home Alone

I am home alone.

Folding a basket full of socks. Seriously, they multiply like rabbits. Or mice. Or whatever multiplies quickly.

Eating my new obsession.

Waffles.

Spread with Nutella.

And topped with sliced bananas.

Oh. My. Goodness.

MLK

I don't know alot about history. Well, I take that back. What I have learned about history I learned on my own as an adult. My goal is for my children is to know that they can have a relationship with history all their life. Not just when they are old.

Wise One and I watched this on MLK last night. It wasn't the classroom version. I just found this this morning and am eager to go over some of it with him. He is 9 and of the age where he can figure things out even when they go unsaid. He can read between the lines a bit. He is one smart cookie. This age is very exciting.

Of course after that he watched an edited version of School of Rock. He is still a kid, you know. It ain't all Mozart and Einstein!

Read something on MLK today. Stop and think about what the man's mission is. It really is inspiring.

Lyn

Chosen

A few nights ago as The Chosen One and I lay in bed watching TV we realized that it was the 15th anniversary of our first date. Or was it 16? No, no it was 15? Are you sure? Not really. Lets see this happened then and that happened that year and yes it is our 16th year together. I mean, 15. I think after a week we settled on 15. Fifteen years together.

He kissed me one night and from then on we were together. A couple, never really talked about it. Just kept seeing each other day after day. Funny how that happened, when I think of it now. No conversation of I like you and I want you to be this to me. It just was. And still is.

I have dug deep in my relationship with The Chosen One. For myself and for us. Some days we didn't come out right. Other days we were the only things I could make come out right at all. In our early relationship I hurt him.........I know you don't want me anymore, I said. No, I will always want you, he said. Years into our marriage he hurt me.......I don't think I want you anymore, I said. Then I will wait here until you want me again, he said.

Anytime I have asked him for more he has given it. Anything. You need me to bend, just tell me how far, he says. All so that he could love me. That is all he asks in return.

Therapy, paint this, buy that, do you like my new haircut, I want to change jobs, we need to save money, please wear these jeans, I don't like those, can you make it again, will you get me this, just one more please, leave me alone, talk to me more, touch me here, don't wake me up, why did you let me do that.

I am not easy to live with. The struggles with depression and migraines and OCD.......make me want to leave myself some days. But The Chosen One stays. Solid and strong. Flexible and soft. A safe place to land and a safe place to plow down.

There are days when we get it all wrong. We say the wrong thing in the wrong tone at the wrong time. It is just all wrong. But the next day he is always there to start over again.

In the depths of my grief or anger or depression or sadness I have always reached out and found his hand. Right there as it always has been.

Fifteen years. All started when I said yes to a date. I found a true companion. A true friend. A life mate. A co-parent. Sometimes I have wandered how did we get together in this crazy world? And then I remember he was Chosen for me. And I was chosen for him.

That makes it all seem possible, workable, doable. It really is bigger than us, this love we have. Much bigger than us.........

Lyn

a few changes.....

in the way I handle things.....................

just because I start reading a book doesn't mean I have to finish reading a book. I already returned one to the library that did not catch my attention in the first three chapters.

it. is. okay.

when I think of something either do it RIGHT THEN or send myself a reminder.

**oh and a new bird calendar has been hung, in the bathroom, so that they may learn about birds they may never see. they are already excited!

lyn

A few things 2007 taught me......

1. If you hang it up for them to see, IN THE BATHROOM, they will see it and learn it! (Small map of the US, pictures and names of the presidents, the art picture of the week)

2. If you tell them WE ARE NOT HAVING A BAD DAY first thing in the morning it usually goes down hill from there.

3. Crappy things happen to really good people.

4. When my head starts to hurt, if I can run to a quiet place and meditate for a bit it seems to ease the headache.

5. I love my girlfriends.

6. Keeping a spotless house is just not really that important to me anymore.

7. Neither is keeping up with the laundry.

8. I love to learn.

9. I am a really BIG pack rat.

10. Retirement isn't always what people want it to be.

Now some of these things I have known but they really were shown to me this year!

Lyn

Oh my....

The Santa Claus Book is a must have. We just now got to it in the stack but it is hands down GREAT! My boys have been so mesmerized by "the elf family tree", "the elf language", "how the elves met Santa", "Santa's Christmas schedule". All of it is great fun. There are jokes, crafts, stories, and the illustrations are wonderful. Reminds me of books from when I was a kid. Not so many eye popping colors that you can't take it all in. Five out of Five stars!!!!!

Oh what wonderful things the library offers.

This is making the rounds in our house. Time and time again. We have taken it to Nana and Papa's, school and I even took it to work.

It. is. that. cool.

One of those finds at the library that may need to be a permanent house companion. One of those finds that makes us want to see everything the author has ever done.

Yeah, one of those.......

Lyn

In the reading stack

Can It Be True? Susan Hill

The Real Santa Claus Marianna Mayer ***parents need to read first before sharing with children. Talks of the legends and may not agree with your beliefs.

The Crunchy, Munchy Christmas Tree Karen Gray Ruelle

All picked up at the library because their covers spoke to us. So far we have not been disappointed.

Happy Reading!

Lyn

Recipe Thursday

Yummy! Hearty! Warms you up!

Lasagna Soup! Crusty bread and you have a winner of an easy meal.

*I just used regular beef broth, broken lasagna noodles and diced onions and garlic. I also kicked up the seasoning a bit. More Italian seasonings and some crushed red pepper.

Twelfth Anniversary

A meal to celebrate twelve years of marriage:

Steak Pizzaola with the works. Fresh salad, with Chosen One's favorite blue cheese dressing. Roasted zucchini and onions. Dessert served in the glasses we toasted our marriage with.

Served on china that was one of our many decisions we made together at the time. Do you remember picking out your wedding china? Not always an easy thing. Funny, we received enough settings for twelve! Eaten using new steak knives that I gave to The Chosen One. We have never had a decent set.

A wonderful dinner with my three favorite guys.

Life is busy!

So busy these days!

I am continuing my work with my project. Progressing nicely. I love the design of it all. The textures of it all. And the satisfaction it brings me.

Monday as I was watching our hummingbirds a butterfly floated into the flowerbed/garden. As the butterfly floated from one flower to another I was mesmerized by it's light movement and beauty. And then, out of NOWHERE one of the hummingbirds dive bombed it! The butterfly flipped end over end. I seriously thought it would have a hole in it's wing when it finally go up right. But it didn't. This continued until the butterfly understood it could have the purple flowers but do not venture to the yellow flowers. THOSE belong to the hummer!! That same night when we got to my parents my mother was itching to show what she found. She took us the to back of the property between to trees pretty high up. All I could see what a big spider web with a big spider. And what appeared to be a leaf stuck in the web. As I looked closer I saw that it was no leaf. It was a hummingbird! All wrapped neatly in a web. The spider would eat for a month off of that thing. Now I know hummers are small but to a spider web!! I thought that was pretty amazing. The spider and handie dandie web had defeated this little force of energy! We continued to watch the hummingbirds on my parents porch. We counted ten that night. I thought to myself.....would have been eleven and giggled! Giggled because in nature you are the eater or the eaten all in the same day. I had always viewed hummers as fierce balls of energy. I have had them dive bomb my head on the porch and have watched them go after each other in the garden but to see them go after the butterfly, well it startled me. And then to see them in the spider web, that startled me even more!

Happy Wednesday!

Lyn