Thursday, March 23, 2006

No, not today.

I am attending the funeral of the man that was killed in the car wreck that I mentioned earlier this week.

I don't want to go. I just don't want to. If I go then I have to face his mother, my friend, and know she will never see her son's smile, hear his voice or his laugh, until she reaches Heaven and that may be a very long time.

She will say a final good bye today. I do not want to go. I want to go back to bed and pretend it was all a dream. If this is how I feel, Lord, what is she feeling?

I keeping thinking of the mother across the street that woke up the other day with no idea that in a couple of hours she would be called mother. She kept telling me, with a big smile, "I can't believe she is here!"

Then my friend who got up one morning and carried on her day only to learn that night her son was dead. She kept saying, with tears falling, "I can't believe he is gone!"

Life is weird. That is the only word that I can type. Weird....fair and unfair all at the same time. Happy and sad. Angry and pleased. Light and dark. Hot and cold. Windy and fun and still and lonely.

I don't want to go,


1 comment:

sarah said...

Your friend will not have to wait for heaven to see her son. He will be in her dreams tonight and for decades to come. She will see him around the corner, in the faces of school children of all ages, in the smile of his friends. She will hear his voice in a crowd, will smile and be comforted.
I will pray for your friend and all that loved this young man.
- A mom that hears a voice in the crowd,