Trying to keep my head up.......

Very tired at the moment. Body as well as mind and spirit. Lots going on in my house and my mind. Rowdy one is trying my patience. ADHD is very difficult to live with. VERY difficult at the moment. Stress fills every crack. I long for a day of calmness. I long for a day of no yelling or complaining or arguing just to get teeth brushed or clothes on.

And the whole while I long for that day I also know that he was given to me. A precious gift. That at the moment I would like to wrap back up and send back. But no, God gave him to me. He is mine to raise while here on earth. I must muster up the courage, patience, love and follow Him where He leads me. He lead me to this child and I will trust that I can handle it, with His help. Sometimes I do feel abandoned. Sometimes I am mad. Sometimes I am so very tired. Tapped out from a rough day. But He gives me sleep to rest. And gives me His word to strengthen myself with.

I will continue........another day.

But I am very tired.

Big sighs........

everday I am encountered with more sad, troublesome news.....

divorce, separation, illness, death, surgery, arguments

troubled hearts.........

everyday.........for several days that have turned to weeks.............

I am grasping from the refresh button.

A sandwich.........

I am a pretty picky eater. I don't think I am but when I am around others.....well yes I am.

My hamburger......well done, with cheese and extra pickles. The other stuff if just a bonus.

Chili....my mom's PERIOD!

Fried chicken.......spicy. If you go through all that trouble make it good!

Mushrooms......NEVER! EVER!

Iced Tea strong and slightly sweet.

Dr. Pepper...never straight out of the can.

Sandwiches.

I like fresh bread.....whatever you got but make it good and fresh, white, wheat, sourdough, 7 grain....

Mayo and mustard or honey mustard or just mayo.....makes no difference.

Greens of some sort.....spinach, romaine....iceberg......just go with it.

Meat....ham, turkey, thick or thin......

And of course chips on the side.....something crunchy! That is a must.

Now to the part that I really have a hard time waivering on.......cheese.

Guess what? I like Kraft cheese slices. Memories from my childhood, maybe. Not real cheese, who cares. I want Kraft cheese slices on my sandwich.

Guess what we were out of when I went to make my sandwich tonight?

KRAFT CHEESE SLICES!

I had shredded Velveeta.......a block of cheddar.....some Muenster.

I chose the Velveeta. I sprinkled it on my bread. It was just not the same.

Yes, I am a picky eater.

Guess what....I sleep with two pillows and one needs to have a satin pillowcase homemade by my mother on it! So sue me!

Lyn

Albertine

Brooke Fraser's Albertine. You can hear it over at Katie's (go to the bottom, her play list) or google it but find it and listen to it.

L.I.S.T.E.N. to it.

Favorite verse............

now that I have seen, I am responsible

and

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I have been

This applies to any of us. To any injustice/illness/homeless/hungry we see.

We must stop waiting for someone else to do it/take care of it/fix it. We are all human. We all feel pain. We all feel happiness. Black , white. American, Indian, German. No matter the continent we were born or the language we speak.

Now I know I may sound all Pollyanna...I know we can't just run out and fix the entire world. But we can make a difference to one person. We can make a difference to a family. We can make a difference. We can and we must!

I have seen a warm word change the mood in an instant. I have seen a new pair of warm socks brighten even the darkest day. I have seen a smile lift a spirit. I have seen human touch ease a stress. I have seen what money can do if used with love in the heart. I have seen what a team can do for one that one could have never done alone. I have seen what warmth and love and His guidance can do. We can all do it. And if we all do it it will change the world.

Favorite at the moment.....

Cinnamon Apples:

Apples, any shape size or variety. We use about 6-7 at a time. Peel them and slice them thin, thick, cube whatever you like. Melt butter in a skillet...plenty of butter. Add apples. Let them sit a bit on high heat. Really get them sizzling. Then sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on them. Toss and sprinkle some more. Nudge heat down just a bit and let them sit and sizzle. As they start to get to the firmness/mushiness you like then cover them with brown sugar. And let them sit on low heat. Serve in a bowl, this is how we like them. They could be over ice cream. We have had them with biscuits in the morning. YUMMY!

Make them they way your family likes...more or less of something........

lyn

At this moment.......

Wise One:

is an Aggie
loves cereal
sleeps a bit more
wants Ovaltine and milk
loves scrambled eggs with cheese
is trying rice and at times mashed potatoes
has tasted more things than before
brushes his teeth every morning with no reminder, thinks brushing at night is useless
washes his hands almost obsessively
smiles freely
wants his hair cut short
wears only shorts
leaves his socks everywhere!
loves to tell blonde jokes and read the Sunday funnies


Rowdy One:

is a Longhorn
is enjoying PB&J after being a bit burned out
loves black eyed peas
won't eat toast or bacon or anything crispy for that matter
would eat seafood at every meal
is stingy with smiles
never remembers to brush his teeth or turn out a light
is very helpful
almost burned out on oatmeal
now notices when his nails need to be trimmed
wears only jeans
makes note of every quarter he sees...what's on the back!
likes puzzles

They change quickly....must remember to document.

Why he is The Chosen One.....

On any given day I can count at least 25 reasons that I married my husband, in a matter of seconds. Little everyday things that make us fit. And then there are the times when I sit back and truly let it soak in that he was Chosen for me by Him. The day to day I seem to forget that. It sometimes takes the big moments to remind me.

Friday afternoon.....

Me: "any chance you could get a truck and trailer?"

Chosen One: "for????"

Me: "well, so we could run up to Austin (four hours drive one way) and pick up a couple pieces of furniture so Auntie A doesn't have to store them."

Chosen One: "a couple?"

Me: "yeah, a ..... few......things she just can't seem to part with....and we could use around here.....and it would save her a bundle on a storage unit....and....yeah....a few."

Chosen One: "I'll see what I can do."

With in five minutes he calls back with a truck and trailer lined up.

We head out early Saturday morning. Make it to Austin by lunch. Visit and start to load. First a bed.....full sized bed rail and mattress........

Chosen One: "where are we putting this?

Me: "oh if we don't use it I will find someone....maybe niece L." Keep walking or he will ask more questions I have no answers for.

Then we load a wooden rocker, a side table, a cedar chest, a trunk, a dining room table, a lamp, an oak table with leaves, a chest of drawers and dresser, a twin sized headboard and foot board a plant, some odds and ends.........two book shelves, and a partridge in a pear tree!

We head out with much more than a couple of things. But all really good stuff!

Fast forward a couple of hours. Sky full of rain. Pull in to raunchy truck stop to buy tarps. Seventy bucks later and a big explanation to Wise One and Rowdy One about what all those things for sale on the wall of the bathroom where(!!!!) (note:they were not feminine hygiene products...thankyouverymuch!)get back on the road and then run into a hail storm. HAIL STORM!!! Rain we can't even see in. HAIL!

Finally make it home. Unload....a few things we ran to Austin to pick up that Auntie A can't seem to part with......and we could use around here....and it would save her a bundle on a storage unit....and...yeah....a few.

He chose him for me. Long ago. Knowing that a hot day in August 2009 I would need to be gently reminded of that. He chose him. For me. He chose a man with a happy heart. Patience and enough love to live with me forever. Especially when I call on a Friday afternoon asking for a truck and trailer.

lyn

Clouds

Today has been a day to watch the clouds and do nothing else.

lyn

August 08

This morning I thought it would be fun to look into my pictures and see what we were doing this month last year. OH...A farm's market visit I have forgotten about. It was toward the end of the month, in downtown Houston, hot as blazes with Wise One taking all the pictures! FUN memories!

lyn

Book on the bedside table........

"Every one of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors has an energy
consequence, for better or for worse."

The Power of Full Engagement

Oh, how he crushes me......

Rowdy One - "sometimes when I am having a hard time understanding how long the world has been here......I see how full a cemetary is and understand......people have been on earth a long time."

for an 8 year old.........that is alot.........he was very seriously and respectful and.....very serious when he said this.........

lyn

Tooth Fairy according to Wise One

What a storyteller he is........

Rowdy One has lost two teeth in the last month. This last tooth inspired a story for him by his brother.

"Your tooth is gravely ill. The Tooth Fairy is a tooth medic and she has come to recover the tooth and take it away to repair it. Once she does she will pass in on to a baby that needs a tooth. She will leave you money for you tooth donation."

Wise One tells this to his wide eyed brother with a big ole smile on his face.

He is my child. I once told Wise One that fireworks were set off my trolls that were excited. They carried them all the way into the sky for all to enjoy!

lyn

Surprise

Wise One left me a very sweet and loving note on my bedside table.........

Basically about how I am the bestest mommy in the world and how much he loves me...............

And well, he melted my heart yet again and especially now since he is 11 and we have been having a rough go of it as mommy and son................

lyn

He is telling me something........

You know when you hear a new word and then you hear it everywhere?

I have been doing some soul searching.......God searching..........awe searching............and I keep stumbling on journaling.

As a form of prayer. As a form of getting my emotions out. As a form of leaving a footprint. As a form of learning about myself.

This is my latest stumblilng.......and I am listening.

lyn

On a mission......

a reading mission that is.

Not the Religious Type: Confessions of a Turncoat Atheist

Some of it was over my head. Part of it bogged my mind down with other stuff. But the parts that didn't fall into those categories really made me think. And ponder. And wonder.

So all in all....it was worth my time.

lyn

to digest.......

......a book completely can take some time. Every once in a while, for me, a book really does reach all the way to my soul. Way deep down. And when it does it may take me years to totally digest it. I may think of it daily for a while. Then weekly. Then daily some more. Then, maybe, not for sometime. Something will draw me back to it. And boom I am digesting more than I ever thought possible.

Ten Degrees of Reckoning by Hester Rumberg

That kind of book is what I just finished reading. The story is heart wrenching. Not heartbreaking. Not sad. Not tragic. Heart wrenching...............

It will stay with me.

lyn

Can we please have it in the house......

Simple rump roast recipe. Simple ingredients. Simple roast. Simple crock pot. Always missing just one ingredient. One. Usually the major one. Oh just improvise, you say. My brain is to tired to improvise.

Just one simple rump roast recipe with all the ingredients in my house.

I do not ask for much FOOD GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lyn

As they grow.....

they still enjoy:

picture books ~ current favorites The Hidden Alphabet by Laura Vaccaro Seeger, Doggie Dreams by Nancy Kapp Chapman, The Pencil by Allan Ahlberg, Loveykins by Quentin Blake and The Twin Princes by Tedd Arnold, who always makes them laugh.

playing with playdoh.

building with Legos.

go fish, even when poker has been learned and perfected.

army men.

beanie babies.

It is so interesting to watch them. See them grow. See how their minds have matured. Some times they play with these items just like they did when they were younger but many times they have moved up a level and worked these items into their world now.

Picture books are read and laughed at and then pronounced perfect for Cousin L or Baby E who are years younger. They read and enjoy but also think of others to share this with. They will make fine fathers someday. Playdoh is just enjoyed, many times, for the texture. It truly calms children. Rolling it over and over in their hands. Squeezing hard with frustration, touching softly with unhappiness. Surprise side effects for a timeless toy. Legos still test them. Challenge them. Encourage them. Go Fish, some days they just need something totally repetitious to give the mind a break. This fits in nicely. Army men = boys and stories. I can not remember how many battles have been fought, people saved, things rescued, bad guys squished. Beanie Babies are cared for, tucked in and cuddled. As well as thrown up in the air with glee. Such forgiving animals they are.

My boys are maturing. They are growing taller. They are eating and sleeping more. I am so glad they are still comforted by toys from their toddler years. Makes a mother's heart hurt just a tad bit less.

lyn

Weekend Read

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas Wonderful, haunting read. If one is looking for a true fact filled story about the Holocaust then move on from this book. If one is looking for a fictional view from a child's eyes then read it. I am tossing it around to give to Wise One. He is just now asking and understanding this time in history. Frankly, do any of us truely understand this time?

lyn

at this moment.....

I am so tired.

The end.

Laughter

As I sit here on the computer I hear, right outside the window, my husband's laugh. The sweetest thing I have heard today.

Playing football with the boys......teaching.....talking....learning......and LAUGHING!

lyn

Reading and thinking.

"Part of the allowable leisure in a bookstore comes from the product it sells. Books are slow. They require time; they are written slowly, published slowly, and read slowly."

"There may be five thousand copies of this particular book in the world, or fifty thousand, or half a million, all exactly alike, but this one is as rare as if it had been made solely for us. We open to the first page, and the universe unfolds, once upon a time."

"For the past several days I've had the sudden and general urge to buy a new book"

(I always have this urge)

The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop a memoir, a history by Lewis Buzbee

I just started this book and it has already swept me into another place. Funny thing about books, they have that power and it still surprises me.

lyn

All About Cookbooks

I am on a bit of a kick.....a reading cookbooks kick!

Several that have caught my fancy:

Cookies and Brownies by Alice Medrich (Good but I can't figure out why it is $80!)

The Breakfast Book by Marion Cunningham

Hallelujah! The Welcome Table by Maya Angelou

I am the type of person that likes to read a book from cover to cover. Like the book jacket, the table of contents, the acknowledgements and anything in the back. I find the best things this way. The extras, the back stories. Well cookbooks are no different. I rather like to read them before I try any of the recipes. Kinda like I have to size the author up before I know whether or not I want to try the recipes. If I can relate to the author then I can relate to the recipes.

I have two more stacks......the journey continues.

lyn

The bug named Flu....

What do you get when you mix two parents who took the flu shot and two kids who didn't?

TWO KIDS WITH THE FLU! It ain't aerospace science here people.

They have very high fevers......104.1. Loud, painful sounding coughs, grumpy little moods and the will to move no further than the living room. One of them even watched TV with no sound. It was to much effort to turn the sound on.........seriously!

Both are taking Tamiflu, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, Gatorade and the occasional Popsicle....."but nothing tastes good....."

And the parents......washing blankets and sheets, cooking whatever remotely sounds good to eat and catching up on movies.

lyn

Memories

I found this picture on our old camera. It is a courthouse on the way to Lake Whitney in 2006. I think in Whitney but I am not sure. I took is as we were driving by. I love buildings, old and new. I think I am going to go through my photos and post several of the buildings I have liked.

**as my trusty commenter helped me out.....the courthouse is in Hillsboro.

lyn

Woodpecker

I work in a old 1932 two story house. From my office, on the second floor, I have a wonderful view of a large, very old, oak tree.

This was dancing around on it today. Tiny little thing. In the sense that most woodpeckers I have seen are the big, red headed variety.

Tomorrow I am bringing my camera.

lyn

Year End

As I browse around blog world I realize......I did not blog much. And I regret that. I regret not being about to look back on my thoughts. I regret not documenting...stuff. So to end the year and start off a new I pledge to document and blog. For all that is happy, all that bugs me, all that happens in our little house.

Because I miss not being able to look back.

lyn