word word

still deciding on the word of 2011 and still living by the word of 2010.

"release" did me well this year. today we released A LOT from the garage.

throughout the year release meant letting go...of feelings, of plans, of emotions, of ideas, of stuff, of people, of me, of expectations, of stuff, of clothes, of paper, of anger, of stuff, of control, of family heirlooms, of dishes, of sadness, of control, of firm grips, of things i thought about myself and others, of me running the show, of toys, of christmas items, of shoes, of family.

you get the idea. lots of things fell into my release attitude. some were easy some so very very hard. but all for the better. truly. i plan to continue to live my release attitude. in hopes that at some point it will be i never "get" it/them in the first place. i pass it/them by the first time so that i do not have to "release" later.

i am really thinking of "organize" or "cherish" for 2011. organize seems so one way but really i could use it could help me in so many ways. not just my tupperware cabinet. but my thoughts, emotions, actions, closet, tupperware cabinet, time...you get the idea. and cherish. a much needed reminder for me. i need to STOP and cherish every single moment. i think cherish is more important. i think. yeah. it is. i will cherish this year. i can always organize. cherish...well i don't need to pass that up.

i didn't expect to make up my mind in a blog post but i did.

CHERISH it is.

lyn

coming down

i think i am coming down from the holiday high. getting close to time to head back to the working world. not that wonderful stretch of many many days off ahead of me. just a couple or so. for some reason the new year is a bit depressing for me. trying to put my finger on that one. trying to understand why. trying to get my emotions in check so they don't get the best of me. is it that i had so many hopes for 2010 and now that the end is near i see how little i accomplished? is it the new year means time is flying by more quickly than i would like? is it i am just a half glass empty kinda gal that has been hiding out for 38 years? or is it that i just exist and don't live fully?

hope i can figure this one out. i would like to shift my outlook at this time of year.

i really am rich beyond means, why so blue then?

lyn

perfect

you're already good enough, you already have more than enough, and you're already perfect.

thank you zen habits!

chilly

i am writing this post on my back porch in the chill and the dark.

why? cause the fab chosen one gifted me a laptop for christmas.

that's why.

the end.

lyn

one word

what will my one word be for 2011?

2010 was release. i think i did well with it. it fit. it worked. it was what i needed.

this year.....what fits?

cherish

comfort

peace

enjoy

stop

breathe

rejoice

clean

choice

moment

so many words. so many emotions. so many things to tackle.....with just one word.

lyn

gifts

we received so many gifts this christmas.......so many. nothing we needed to survive our lives. nothing that we could not live without. nothing that if we didn't get we would have not made it.

but so many need things like that. things to survive. things to continue on. water.....food.....a touch of comfort and love.

we enjoyed lots of food.....lots. we enjoyed love of family and friendship. we enjoyed conversation and touches of kindness. we enjoyed laughter. we enjoyed the comforts of warmth and in the case of texas christmas a touch of coolness when needed.

as i sit here typing this in my comfy recliner with the ceiling fan on and each of my family enjoying a computer device i realize if i cleared even half of my living room we would still be overly comfortable. if i removed everything, we would still enjoy heat and air, soft carpet and each other.

will i think of this wonderful time when i see the tiny snowflake on my charm bracelet? that was the intention.

when i see the beautiful angel portrait that i really wanted, will see calm me and bring me back to this time of "peace on earth, good will toward men"?

when i pull my new mixing bowls out will i be transported to the wonderful comfort food we shared? like the delicious chicken and dumplings i am eating now.

every time i get on my new laptop will i be thankful for the computer age and enough money to splurge?

i should remember these things. i want to remember these things. i want to be as thankful and in awe of the times i am experiencing. i want to live that way.

as i go over these things i am secretly preparing for the new year. setting a plan to live. change a habit. create a better me....time.....experience. no setting out to lose weight. committing to cut out this or that. promising to cut back. nope, this is more important. more of a change that is needed. more of a balancing act than anything i have set out to do. no i do this and i will "GET" this. just be aware of living really. that is what i will "get". and that is more than plenty. more than i deserve. more than most get.

lyn