Monday, January 21, 2008


I don't know alot about history. Well, I take that back. What I have learned about history I learned on my own as an adult. My goal is for my children is to know that they can have a relationship with history all their life. Not just when they are old.

Wise One and I watched this on MLK last night. It wasn't the classroom version. I just found this this morning and am eager to go over some of it with him. He is 9 and of the age where he can figure things out even when they go unsaid. He can read between the lines a bit. He is one smart cookie. This age is very exciting.

Of course after that he watched an edited version of School of Rock. He is still a kid, you know. It ain't all Mozart and Einstein!

Read something on MLK today. Stop and think about what the man's mission is. It really is inspiring.


Saturday, January 12, 2008


A few nights ago as The Chosen One and I lay in bed watching TV we realized that it was the 15th anniversary of our first date. Or was it 16? No, no it was 15? Are you sure? Not really. Lets see this happened then and that happened that year and yes it is our 16th year together. I mean, 15. I think after a week we settled on 15. Fifteen years together.

He kissed me one night and from then on we were together. A couple, never really talked about it. Just kept seeing each other day after day. Funny how that happened, when I think of it now. No conversation of I like you and I want you to be this to me. It just was. And still is.

I have dug deep in my relationship with The Chosen One. For myself and for us. Some days we didn't come out right. Other days we were the only things I could make come out right at all. In our early relationship I hurt him.........I know you don't want me anymore, I said. No, I will always want you, he said. Years into our marriage he hurt me.......I don't think I want you anymore, I said. Then I will wait here until you want me again, he said.

Anytime I have asked him for more he has given it. Anything. You need me to bend, just tell me how far, he says. All so that he could love me. That is all he asks in return.

Therapy, paint this, buy that, do you like my new haircut, I want to change jobs, we need to save money, please wear these jeans, I don't like those, can you make it again, will you get me this, just one more please, leave me alone, talk to me more, touch me here, don't wake me up, why did you let me do that.

I am not easy to live with. The struggles with depression and migraines and OCD.......make me want to leave myself some days. But The Chosen One stays. Solid and strong. Flexible and soft. A safe place to land and a safe place to plow down.

There are days when we get it all wrong. We say the wrong thing in the wrong tone at the wrong time. It is just all wrong. But the next day he is always there to start over again.

In the depths of my grief or anger or depression or sadness I have always reached out and found his hand. Right there as it always has been.

Fifteen years. All started when I said yes to a date. I found a true companion. A true friend. A life mate. A co-parent. Sometimes I have wandered how did we get together in this crazy world? And then I remember he was Chosen for me. And I was chosen for him.

That makes it all seem possible, workable, doable. It really is bigger than us, this love we have. Much bigger than us.........


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

a few changes.....

in the way I handle things.....................

just because I start reading a book doesn't mean I have to finish reading a book. I already returned one to the library that did not catch my attention in the first three chapters.

it. is. okay.

when I think of something either do it RIGHT THEN or send myself a reminder.

**oh and a new bird calendar has been hung, in the bathroom, so that they may learn about birds they may never see. they are already excited!


Thursday, January 03, 2008

A few things 2007 taught me......

1. If you hang it up for them to see, IN THE BATHROOM, they will see it and learn it! (Small map of the US, pictures and names of the presidents, the art picture of the week)

2. If you tell them WE ARE NOT HAVING A BAD DAY first thing in the morning it usually goes down hill from there.

3. Crappy things happen to really good people.

4. When my head starts to hurt, if I can run to a quiet place and meditate for a bit it seems to ease the headache.

5. I love my girlfriends.

6. Keeping a spotless house is just not really that important to me anymore.

7. Neither is keeping up with the laundry.

8. I love to learn.

9. I am a really BIG pack rat.

10. Retirement isn't always what people want it to be.

Now some of these things I have known but they really were shown to me this year!