Quote Monday

Poor little bloggy blog, no time for you these days. But I am making a really good effort to post a couple of times a week! Really I am! Really...

Love, love my job. I almost feel guilty saying that. As if that means I am glad I went back to work. Which I am NOT! But if I have to I am glad I have this job to go to!

"Most of the people I know who have what I want - which is to
say, purpose, heart, balance, gratitude, joy - are people with a deep sense of
spirituality......They follow a brighter light than the glimmer of their own
candle; they are part of something beautiful. I saw something
once.....that said, 'A human life is like a single letter of the alphabet.
It can meaningless. Or it can be part of a great meaning.' "

~Anne Lamott~

Exciting

I have GOT to lead you here. And you have GOT to listen to the song and watch the video!

Very cool!

Thems some cute little Canadians! And talented to boot! Congrats to the proud mama!

Lyn

My OWN Strength

To show me my own strength God sent me Chosen One with a new kind of Blue Bell! It is called Cake Batter. CAKE BATTER, I say! And it is so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But you see I can't handle dairy without medicine and even with medicine sometimes ice cream still makes me sick. So I took a nibble. Just a nibble.

STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!

I prayed for it. Nobody to blame but myself.

Lyn

Strength

This past Sunday, as I sat in the pew next to my Rowdy One who was proving his name, in church no less, I prayed for strength. I asked God to guide me to strength, to show me strength and to help me with strength. Many days I feel like I am crumbling. So I prayed for strength for my family and for me.

Since Sunday this is what I have been shown. And I have taken a deep breath each time and recognized them. They are strength, my examples and my models. Sent to me from God. A gentle whisper telling me they are all around me and even when I crumble they are there to lift me up.

*a lone white dove in amongst the other fifty sitting on a power line. Seen while I was putting gas in my car. We have dove all around us. I see dove every single day. But this is the first time I have seen a snow white dove in the midst of all the regular gray ones. She was not afraid. She entered their chat feast as one of them. No matter she was stark white and they were dark. Strength......

*a friend making a deep decision. Facing things that she should not have to face. Make decisions that she should not be faced with. And all the while doing it with hope and commitment to the ones she loves. Strength.......

*Wise One jumping out of the car this morning and hollering "hey Nicole" to a girl he barely knows but one he calls a friend. This from my shy one. This from my one who would rather stand in the rain than have someone notice him. Strength.............

*my Chosen One lending his strength to his mother. She can no longer get around by herself. Her strong legs have given out. Her strong mind is wavering. And he is lending her his strength to prepare her for bed. He is lending her his strength in the one sided conversations he continues to have with her. He is showing me strength.............

*a single, bright sunflower in a yard that I drive by every single day. I have never noticed this sunflower until today. It is in the middle of the yard. It is the dead of winter. We just had a cold snap and while everything else is wilted and dying this sunflower is strong and tall. And BRIGHT! Strength.....................

I hope everyone gets a glimpse of strength today, in their everyday.

Lyn

Sickies

Rowdy One woke us up Saturday and was sick. You know what this mother hen's first thought was? Oh we will have a day with Rowdy One on the couch and the rest of us can hang around and watch movies. Poor guy is sick but at least he will be down and contained for the day. What an awful thought.......................

But true to his name, Rowdy One was sick and then up playing. Sick and then running around the house. Sick and then wanting to go outside. Every time he got sick he was down for all of about 5 seconds and then off again.

I should be a glad mother hen. Instead I was a tired mother hen.

This was his first encounter with "vomit". After he got sick the first time I heard him asking Chosen One, did I just throw-up? Was that throw-up? He had not a clue and once he realized he was not possessed I think he was a little proud!

Six year old's can even make sickies funny!

Lyn

Staff?

As I am getting ready to leave this morning the phone rings. Without even looking I answer it and am greeted by a woman who then proceeds to butcher my last name, "may I please speak to Mrs. ^$#&*(?" At this point I knew it was a telamarketer and I said, sorry she is not it.

"Well, then may I speak to someone on her staff?"

Blink. Blink.

"Her what?"

"Her staff, may I speak to someone on her staff?"

"She has no staff."

"Oh, well I will call another time."

Now I have thought of this all day. Who would be calling me thinking I had a staff????

Kinda funny!!!

Lyn

Shorts and Sweaters

I have lived in South Texas long enough, all 34 yrs of my grand ole life, that I know you very well could be wearing shorts on Christmas, that you never pack away your summer clothes and you have very few winter clothes which your rarely unpack. I don't even own a "winter" coat. I own several "windbreakers" some lined if it is really cold. But this weather we are having now is really getting to me. Yesterday it was 75 degrees and I was in shorts. Right now it is 33 degrees and raining with a chance it might warm to 45!

I DON'T HAVE CLOTHES FOR THIS, DEAR WEATHER GODS!!!! And I have to go to work! Please, have mercy on my thinskinned self!

Yes, I am working on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. As my boss said "sorry, but this is football season for us." as in tax season. I am glad that the boys and Chosen One get to stay snug in their jammies for the day!

Lyn

Cracked. Me. Up.

I am catching up on my blog reading. When I got to this story I had to get the box of kleenex, I laughed so hard. I love the way she writes and that she is not afraid to tell these tales.

Seriously. I was C.R.Y.I.N.G. I was laughing so hard just imagining the pictures in my mind as the story was unfolding.

Just imagining a child in a highchair saying "I see fire!" is enough to make me start laughing all over again.

Lyn

What a week!

This past week was our first full week in work/school mode. I fell into bed exhausted last night at like 8pm!

The boys are thriving in school. Thank God! And I am not saying that lightly! Thank you God above!!!!! There are some things I have issue with at Rowdy One's school but they are minor and I just need to make my concerns known and I am sure there is a fix. Wise One is having a grand time learning the ins and outs of his new enviroment. They are both very bright kids and are excelling in the new setting. I could list all the things I miss/am concerned with/wish were different but I am not. I am listing all the positives we have had this week. And there have been many.

Work is great. Really. Great. I am very capable and my new bosses are very good about telling me that. The verbal reenforcements are good since I was/am having such a hard time with the transistion. It is a pleasant atmosphere with no real stress and lots of positive vibes. My office is right next to Rowdy One's school so I can skip over there for lunch with him any time I want. I also do not have to be at work until 9 so we are not rushed in the morning. I have cuddle time and all. And the pay is nice. Truly. That is the main reason for returning to the workforce. And it will relieve some stress fairly quickly and help us get back on our feet. And working for CPAs has some perks, as in wonderful advice and education on some long term things at my finger tips.

Ah! All around this week was a good one.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes I have received. I have felt wrapped in prayer and good thoughts and I so appreciate the kindness!

Lyn

Smiles.

As Rowdy One was getting ready for his bath .....

"Mommy, sometimes my tummy hurts and I think I need to go to the bathroom but then I let out a toot and I feel better."

"Yes, sweetie, that is called passing gas."

"Did that happen to you when you were a kid?"

"Well, yeah, and it still happens to me now."

"Awe man, you mean it can happen any time in your life?"

Blink. Blink. Smile. Smile.

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More smiles over the phone when a friend calls to tell me all the good things that happened to her today. Really, just simple everyday things that she received great happiness from.

Smile. Smile.

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A wonderful email from a friend with a list of what makes her smile.

It is nice to have a friend so content with her life. Even if she is thousands of miles away and I miss her terribly. Just knowing that her choice to move, a thousand miles away!, have brought her great joy make me...

Smile. Smile. Smile.

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A sweet little arm wrapping around my neck, as I type on the computer, asking me to come lay down with him.

Smile. Smile. BIG smiles.......

Off to read bedtime stories and cuddle with one of my favorite guys!

Lyn

Positive Thoughts

"All the great blessings of my life are present in my thoughts
today." Phoebe Cary

Positive List for TODAY:

Having a FAB-U-LOUS outfit to wear today! And Chosen One making a wonderful comment about it.
Being greeted with much excitement at the new work place.
Having these waiting for me when I got home. Man, was I ever glad to slip into them! (a Christmas present from one of my favorite aunts that I wear Every. Single. Day.)
Easy and yummy dinner. Homemade pizza.

Lyn

Books

Three books in four days. All were good and I enjoyed them keeping my mind busy.

The Dog Walker by Leslie Schnur Raunchy at times but funny all the same. I picked this up on whim at the library.

Giovanni's Light by Phyllis Theroux I looked for this before Christmas and it was checked out so I read it after Christmas. Good, no matter when it is read. A good quick read.

Marley & Me by John Grogan Recommended by my aunt and my sister received it for Christmas so I read it yesterday while the guys cooked and watched football! It made me laugh, out loud!, cry and run and hug my dog!

Lyn

Positive Thoughts

In looking for some positive things today I found this:

"If you pay attention to the darkness, you'll never find the light."

Yeah, okay, I can go with that.

Positive List for TODAY:

Boys talking, with excitment, about school.
Visiting with a friend.
Chosen One cooking fried shrimp.
Comments from blog friends to let me know they care.
Four Legged One, that dog really makes me smile.
Cleaning out the pantry and reorganizing.
No where I had to be today.

Lyn

School

Well, they are there. Tucked in with the other 600 children in their schools. They were troopers. I was a mess, well not until I got to the car, but a mess all the same. I felt like I was going to throw up or run back in and rescue them. I barely contained both feelings. It has been exactly 30 minutes since I saw them and I miss them TERRIBLY! This is not how I want things. I do not think I have ever had this feeling before....this feeling of swimming against the tide in MAKING myself do something. This is worse than my fight with depression or is it worse because of my fight with depression? Well meaning people say "they will be fine". And all I want to scream is I DON'T WANT THEM TO JUST BE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!

I bought something for myself for Christmas. A sign that reads "if you're handed it you can handle it". Well, today that is a bunch of hooey. And I should have jerked my hand away as it was being handed to me.

I am going for some retail therapy. It is raining and grey out and I need to leave the house of homeschooling books and toys. I feel like a failure today.

Lyn

200th Post

And for my 200th post I leave you with some of my family's favorite things in 2006!

From the fam:

Everest: Beyond the Limit on Discovery Channel

Iron Chef America on Food Network

Mancala

Story of the World

baked potatoes with steamed broccoli

Skippyjon Jones as talked about here

This animal!

From Me:

Broccoli Salad

Brothers and Sisters on ABC

Cottage Living ~ I love this mag!!

this hand cream

these earrings ~ they are the first ones I reach for when I go for earrings.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven as noted here. I still think of this book. And I have since seen the movie and was not disappointed. It still makes me think and wonder.

What are some of your favorites?

Lyn

The J.O.B.

This is a hard and exciting and nauseating and wonderful post.

I have a job, starting the 8th. Wise One and Rowdy One will begin public school starting the 4th.

There I typed it. Now I can go and cry.

This decision has been a tough one for me. Tough for my family. The job will relieve some very stressful situations, financially. My hope it that relieving that stress will free up a lot of good energy to fill our lives with.

The public school part....I really can't talk about it yet. Very emotional for me.

But the job is a wonderful job, working for wonderful people I have known for years. They are very family oriented. There is much excitement in that their business is growing in a new way. They are excited to have me, which makes it nice to go to work. I have purchased some FAB-O work clothes that I am sure I will get tired of wearing but I am riding the high as long as I can. The job is local and there are some flexibilities that are hard to find these days. And it pays! I get a pay check! Twice a month!!! Money!!! Oh, that will feel good, even if it doesn't stay in our account!

Lyn

This new year.

What 2007 means to me?

Still processing.....

Lots and lots of changes coming up for my family.

Some sad things that I know will come in 2007.

Many exciting things that will sprinkle in.

It is all a little overwhelming when I look back on 2006. It was a HARD year my friends. And I know many hard things are being carried over to 2007 because life just doesn't get wrapped up nice and tidy that way. If I could pour everything in a envelope and mark it "2006" and file it in the attic with the other forgotten memories, I would!

I am thinking and rearranging and understanding and growing. My years seem to be so adult these days.

One thing I will focus on this year will be bits and pieces of fun. I will embrace the silliness when it peeks out at me. I will laugh a little longer and a little deeper. I will enjoy what is offered to enjoy. The rest is still marinating in my head.

More to come..........

Lyn

Admin

Could you try to post a comment? I was told, thank you Elise, that comments were not working. I messed around a bit and think it might be fixed!

Lyn

Darts

Rowdy One received a Dart Board from Santa.

Yes, Santa Baby, is encouraging Rowdy One to throw things. I need to talk to that Santa Baby! While they are soft tip darts it is still throwing something at something and being rewarded. I think our therapist will have a whole session on this one!


Heard while the boys were taking their shower, yes together. But without their squelchy things!.......

"Hey, Wise One, wanta play darts when we get out?"

"Yeah, and then we can play Mancala."

"And then we can play The Game of Life."

"Yeah!"

I am writing this down to come back to when the darts are not being thrown at the dart board and the stones from Mancala become projectile objects and no one can find the cars from The Game of Life!

Lyn

Note to self

My boys are too close to use these properly. I try to tell them that they must be seperate, by oh maybe a room, from each other for these to work and be.... !!!!FUN!!!!

"But mommy, we want to play together."

"Well, I know guys but these work when you are in two different places. But you are still playing together."

"Oh. But we don't want to be in two different places. We want to play together, right next to each other."

I think this is a good thing.

So they use these squelchy sounding things, right next to each other.

And love it!

Adults, we really must think out of the box.

Lyn

Merry Christmas!

I am signing off for the holidays. I need to focus on the season. I need to focus on and enjoy my family. We have not been doing much enjoying of anything.

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and holiday season!

Long, Long Ago

Winds through the olive trees
Softly did blow,
Round little Bethlehem
Long, long ago.

Sheep on the hillside lay
Whiter than snow;
Shepards were watching them,
Long, long ago.

Then from the happy sky,
Angels bent low,
Singing their songs of joy,
Long, long ago.

For in a manger bed,
Cradled we know,
Christ came to Bethlehem,
Long, long ago.

Anonymous, found in The Family Read-Aloud Christmas Treasury

Enjoy the season!

Lyn

Christmas Laughs

I either love Will Ferrell or hate Will Ferrell. Thankful in Elf I love Will Ferrell. It is one of the few things that can make me laugh at the moment!

"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup."

"Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco... Frannncisco... Franciscooo..."

"Have you seen these toilets? They're GINORMOUS! "

"I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins."

"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."

14 years

My friend is celebrating her 14th wedding anniversary, alone. Her first anniversary without her beloved next to her. In a couple of days she will celebrate her birthday. And then Christmas and New Years. All with her heart broken into a million pieces.

“No greater grief than to remember days of gladness when sorrow is at hand” ~Friedrich von Schiller

Come on 2007!

I tweezed a gray hair from my eyebrow this morning. First one. I think I grew it within the last two weeks. I think I have aged, more than one gray eyebrow hair, within the last two weeks. I am ready for a hopeful 2007 to be here!

This was almost the last straw for me. Funny, what the last straw can be! More times than not it is something you would normally not notice.

Lyn

Recipe for the weekend

I have no idea where I found this recipe. It is written on the inside cover of one of my favorite recipe books.

Crockpot Taco Casserole

1 lb ground meat, browned and drained
taco seasoning, use the package or your own, either way about a package worth
small can of tomato sauce
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 can enchilada sauce
can of pinto beans, rinsed and drained or leftover homemade pintos, whatever you have
can of fiesta corn (the kind with bell peppers) or any leftover corn you have
corn tortillas
cheddar cheese, at least a 1/2 lb shredded but we use more!

Combine meat and taco seasoning, set aside.
Combine chicken stock, tomato sauce, and enchilada sauce, set aside.

Butter inside of crockpot. Lay 3 tortillas on the bottom, top with meat mixture. Then add stock mixture. Top with cheese. Layer 3 more tortillas, then beans, then corn and again cheese. Top with 3 corn tortillas and any and all cheese remaining. Cook on low for 6 or so hours.

Serve with lettuce and tomato salad and chips, cause in my house if the kids can "dip" it they will eat it!

Very handy to have the canned goods on hand or use leftovers from the fridge!

Lyn

Taking a step back.....

"The sun was shining in my eyes, and I could barely see
To do the necessary task that was allotted me.
Resentment of the vivid glow, I started to complain--
When all at once upon the air I heard the blind man’s cane."

- Earl Musselman

Christmas Joy

I pulled out the Christmas Book basket last night. I love The Little Book of Christmas Joys. While there is nothing earth shattering in this little package it certainly has some fun ideas and wonderful reminders of things to do during the season.

#78 ~ Tip someone who doesn't expect it.

#254 ~ Ask the oldest married man and the youngest married woman (or vice versa) to pull the Christmas turkey wishbone.

#360 ~ Ask children, "What are you giving for Christmas?" instead of "What are you getting for Christmas?"

#378 ~ As you pack up the Christmas tree decorations, ask family members to write a prediction for the coming year on a piece of paper. Put them in the ornament box and read them next year.

and the last one in the book......
#432 ~ Don't forget whose birthday we're celebrating!

Lyn

Going through the motions

It seems I am just going through the motions this year. We put up the tree. I let the boys totally decorate it. No rearranging. Just leaving it alone. Not even bringing all my decorations out. We just got a call from one of Chosen One's brothers, 'how 'bout we have Christmas Eve lunch catered by local Mexican food joint?' All I could muster was a very laid back, 'works for me'. Now any other time this would have not happened but that fact that someone else in the family suggested it makes me believe that we are all feeling a bit, uh, overwhelmed! We have been hanging up our Jesse Tree ornaments but not much of the reading is being done. I have some Christmas shopping done but I have to say this will be a slim Christmas for several reasons, one being I can not bring myself to shop.

I reach out for you. I thirst for you as a parched land thirsts
for rain. -Psalm 143:6

Please pray

~for my mother in law and our family.
~for my friend as she faces a tough time without her husband.
~for "e".
~for all those that have lost their way.

Lyn

Thought of the day, and many days to come!

"Giving control of our lives to God doesn't mean we let go of our resposiblilites. It simply means we leave the worry and the results to God."

I found this on page 9 of a wonderful little book called The Power of a Positive Wife by Karol Ladd. It was an "ah" moment. And I have been comforted by it ever since I read it.

Lyn

Today

This about sums up how I feel, 'cept my thighs aren't that toned!

This is one of my favorite sites. The photos submitted are breathtaking on most days. And then on other days it's like looking in a mirror. That is how this frog made me feel today. But he does look like he has a pretty good grip, so that makes me hopeful!

Lyn

Lemon Cookies

In need of something to lift our spirits.

Lemon Cookies with fresh lemons from my in laws tree.

Yum!

Lyn

more of This and That

Several of you have asked about a part time job or working from home. I do that right now. Do we have a satellite? No, already cut. Do we receive the newspaper? No cut also, read on line. Can you cut your entertainment/clothing budget? What entertainment/clothing budget!?

We have turned this snow globe every which way. And at the moment there is only one way to keep afloat. Well, next to winning the lotto! But since someone just won in our zip code I think the deck is stacked against us, there!

We have discussed this with the boys and they are being great about it. Just enough "mommy, I will miss our snuggle time" and "mommy, you taught me so well I won't have a bit of trouble" mixed in with the "I am excited to meet new friends" that it is making it bearable for me to have the conversations with them.

However, when I called to make arrangements to enroll Wise One and was told what all needed to be done including a math and reading test to make sure he should be in 3rd grade and that the test could take TWO hours I almost hung up in disgust and vomited! A two hour math test for a third grader!!!! I hung up the phone and prayed. Truly. There was nothing else I could do. I prayed that God will lead me and my children and keep us safe and secure.

Believe me. I know there are worse things in the world. I do. Some of them I know up close and personal. But this is really tugging at my heart. This is really hard. We will get through it. We will be strong and positive. Some major stress will be relieved and that will be good for our family.

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My mother in law has had a couple of good days. We have seen more of her personality. While this is more than likely just temporary we are enjoying it and enjoying seeing her smile. And my boys are learning a lot from their grammy and the people around her. They are learing about life.

Lyn

Wrestling

We are wrestling with some things on the homefront, over and above the normal family stuff. Basically, the need for me to return to work. I can not deny our financial situation any longer. We have cut all we can possibly cut and are still not meeting ends. Really it goes beyond that.

This has lead to sleepless nights, knotted stomachs, talking and more talking. And yes, prayer. Really, I know it is in His hands and He will guide our famliy. But for some reason in the middle of the night when I am at my wits end and I turn it over to Him I always end up taking it back to worry over more the next time my eyes open.

I love, I mean really love, being home with my boys. It takes my breath away to think of not seeing them all day. Of not being there to witness their learning for eight hours................that was even hard to type.

Ugggg! I can't type anymore.

Prayers please. Please. I can't wrestle this alone.

Lyn

BRRRRRR!!!!

Right now it is 30 degrees Farenheit outside with a wind chill of 25!

We don't get weather like this is these here parts of coastal Texas!

Brrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyn

Car Conversation Part II

"Mommy, did that sign say speed limit 55?"

"Why yes, Rowdy One, it did. You read it! Way to go!"

"Then why are your going 60?"

"Oh. Well. I guess I do need to slow down a bit. Thank you, sweetie."

a few minutes later......

"Mommy, green is for go, yellow is for slow and red is for stop."

"You are right Rwody One."

"Then why didn't you slow down?"

Don't you just love when they are back seat drivers at SIX!

ThankyouVERYmuch.

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Our days with my mother in law are flowing nicely. We do our school work, bake cookies and watch movies and then prepare dinner for them and eat with them when Chosen One gets there.

Wise One has a severe case of poison ivy that has spread to his face and other delicate areas. He is handling it like a trooper but today we filled some medicine from the dr. that he has to swallow and you would have thought we were asking him to drink drano! But he finally got it down with a scoop of peanut butter and some apple sauce. Probably both things that counteract with the medicine! OY!

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It seems I am facing death of a couple of loved ones. Both by the awful thing that is cancer. Six letters that change everything. I am a person that has to process. That has to prepare. Whether it be preparing for a feast or preparing my brain and heart for what is coming, I must prepare. So that I can see it for what it is and not totally go wildly mad. I walk on a fine line of sane and insane, these days. Watching those you love die gets really old. And now the numbers seem to be stacking up and in order for me to stay on the sane side of the line I must push forward and embrace what I know is coming. I must find a place and put It there. Some think this is morbid. I think, for me, it is a very healthy thing. Some think I am obsessing. I think, for me, I am processing. Some think I am looking at the negative. I think, for me, I am embracing the positive.

We live our whole life trying to get to heaven. I do not look at death as a horrible thing. The suffering is what gets me down. The heartache of watching people not able to handle the death of a loved one makes me sad. The process is what can be hard. But death. Death is not the enemy. Many times it is our emotions attached to death.

"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is
love, the only survival, the only meaning."

Thornton Wilder
The Bridge of San Luis Rey

My baby is SIX!

Rowdy One turned six on Saturday. We spent the day here in honor of a little boy who loves sharks! Nana and Papa, Aunt L and Uncle J, cousins O and L, along with Beck and Little M. It was a beautiful day and Rowdy One had a wonderful time. The shark voyage was is favorite! He is still talking of it. He rode the ferris wheel with Chosen One, Wise One and Nana because Mommy is AFRAID, SCARED TO DEATH of heights. Everyone enjoyed the change of pace and lots of smiles!!!

In the last two weeks Rowdy One has lost his first tooth followed by the second one a day later. He took his training wheels off and has not stopped riding his bike except to sleep. And he has, to me, been a little less fearful of things. He is growing up. Stretching out. Thinking crooked. Seeing life in a whole new light! With six year old eyes. He makes me smile everyday. He makes his brother giggle and makes his daddy shake his head! He is a treasure.

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I may not be around as much as I would like in the coming weeks. They have discovered several tumors in my mother in laws brain, she had lung cancer this time last year. The boys and I will be caring for her in the afternoons. Our days will be pretty full. I will try to keep up with everyone as best I can.

And please keep us all in prayers.

Lyn

It started out as a innocent question.

Conversation in the van today:

Rowdy One "Mommy, how many Thanksgivings did you and daddy have without Wise One?"

"Three" simple reply by me.

"How many without me?"

"Five."

"So you were alone for three years?"

"Yes, daddy and I were married three years before we had you babies!" I answered with a sweet grin on my face.......thinking, YES, dear little one three years of quiet and three years of finishing your dinner plate and I was continuing to think of days gone by when Wise One pipes up.......with THE question. THE. QUESTION. Seriously, we were having a very simple, innocent Thanksgiving discussion. And then...............

Wise One "How do you make babies?"

"What did you say? I think I misunderstood."

"How do you make babies? Does it just happen? Or do you do something special?"

In my head I am saying, oh you do something special alright Mr. and I ain't havin' this conversation now. You are only eight years old! And my heart can't take this.

As I try to control my breathing I think...short and sweet. Only as much informtion as they ask.

"Well, sweetie, God gives a man a special gift and a woman a special gift and when they come together in love they have a baby."

"Oh."

Well, look at that. He is satisfied and I can calm down.

"Well, what about cousin C.?"

Cousin C is a nineteen year old cousin that is unwed and pregnant. The famliy just found out. Now while I know worse things could happen to a family I just wasn't quite sure how to explain this to my eight year old in regards to how it happened.

So we talked of gifts God gives and we talked of free will. We talked of choices. We talked of hardships for Cousin C, the baby and the father, who is wanting nothing to do with the baby. We discussed all of this.

And then he says "So the gifts are sperm and eggs? Like when seahorses are born, only the daddy carries them."

"Yes, sweetie, basically yes." Dang Discovery Channel!

And that was it. As innocent it was started it ended. It wasn't until I pulled in the driveway that I realized our tightly I was griping the steering wheel.

Innocent car conversation.

OY!

Lyn

Headline that caught my eye.

Secret Santa

Lyn

Current Favorites

Listening to:

A Toad for Tuesday by Russell E. Erickson ~ our library has a sound recording of this and it is wonderful to listen to. Both boys really enjoy it.

Skippyjon Jones in the Doghouse by Judy Schachner ~ when I read this I butchered the silly words. Luckily it came with a cd with the story read by the author. Wonderfully silly and funny. While it is no literary masterpiece and at times I thought it didn't make a lot of sense and was hard to follow, it made my two giggle over and over!

Watching:

The Joy Luck Club ~ just finished the book, had to see the movie. I cried and cried at the end. I enjoyed watching it.

A Midsummer Night's Dream ~ produced by the BBC and Time Life, couldn't find a link. Wise One and I have enjoyed this.

Reading:

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott ~ I have had this copy since I was nine years old I think it is high time I find our what all the fuss is about.

Lyn

Holy Jalapeno!

I finally put my links up. Just had to sit down and do it. Uninterrupted.

Lyn

Searching

The holiday season is upon me. No way to get around it. I used to enjoy the season and I think I still can, I just have to get my head straight. Family stress, financial stress, food stress, stress, stress, stress! That is what I see. Now isn't that sad? Really, pretty SAD!

Today I pulled my lazy bones out of bed early to take a short walk. My real motivation was that we were out of Dr. Pepper and I have to walk by little neighborhood store in the process of exercising so it made my "fix" more justifiable. I did wait until after I completed said 20 minute walk to purchase said fix! Come on, what do you take me for?

Anyway, during my walk I was searching. How can I get my "groove"(Beck knows she needs to get her groove on as well!) in the mood for the holidays? There is something more than this feeling I am feeling, isn't there? This is not they way the season is supposed to start out, is it? In my searching I know I am learning. I am learning the hard way because I am a slow learner. Very slow.......

Every moring I visit places like this and this. And, oh, this one too. So peaceful. So clear. So intent. So content! I am searching for a feeling like that. I know what I believe. At least I think I know what I believe, most of the time. I know this is His season. I know that. I know I want my children to know that. I want them to feel that. But my actions don't always, naturally, show that. And that is what I am searching to correct.

He is what I am searching for.

Lyn

Jackpot!

When Chosen One and I ate Saturday night for our anniversary one of our topics was what we would do if we won the lotto. Earlier in the day we watched a show on TLC that was about regular people who had won a power ball and what they did with their money. One man won a gazillion dollars and at the time he was unemployed and needed back surgery. The things is purchased just boggled our minds. Statues and statues of people/goddesses/animals that were each at least $200,000. What? I mean it is his money and he did do several good deeds that the show highlighted but 50 statues each worth that much is just not for me.

Anyway, we decided to play the lotto that night. Can't win if you don't play! We purchased 11 tickets in honor of eleven years. Ten quick picks and one ticket we used important dates. About 10:30pm we checked the computer and what do you know...................

SOME ONE IN OUR TOWN, small Texas town in the middle of nowhere, WON THE LOTTO!

But is wasn't us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone in or around our little town is EIGHTEEN million dollars richer!!!!!

But is wasn't us! Ah well............being poor is not soooo bad. Eighteen million would probably have brought us a whole lotta trouble. I mean who needs a new car?!. Who needs all the stress of buying new clothes or a new house?! Truly, who needs it?!

I would have liked a new car. Not a Bently or anything just a regular ole new car for a family of 4. Nothing big.......

Lyn

Eleven Years

Eleven LOOONNNGGGG years! heheeh, just kidding Chosen One.

Tomorrow we will celebrate the Veteran's and celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary.

Eleven years: two kids, three pregnancies, two dogs, two cats, seven vehicles, ten jobs, two homes. Yep, that is what we have gone through in eleven years. Now when you look deeper into all these you will see the life we have lived! Oh the ups! Oh the downs....... Oh the fun! Oh the "what the heck was I thinking" and better yet "what the heck were you thinking". The sleepless nights, due to illness, babies, fights or having to much fun! The tight money situations that never seem to go away. The talks that make us feel so much better. The talks that make us crack up!

Who else would I want to live this life with? None other than the Chosen One. I am so glad we decided to get married. While I think back and know we had NO idea what we were really getting in to, I do believe God put us together for the long haul. Put us together for each other.

I love you Chosen One. Happy Anniversary!

Lyn

What am I doing up at this hour?

Well, it IS 2:49 in the morning but who is noticing that!

I have a cold. One that makes it hard to breathe when you lay just right, makes it hard to not cough when you lay just so and one that makes your stomach queasy from all the drainage from you know where that makes you feel like you know what. Yeah, that kind of cold. And I just couldn't lay in bed anymore. I need to eat something and blow something and take something.

So there you have it. I have a cold. And I don't like it.

Lyn

Reading and Viewing

Just finished: The Joy Luck Club

At one point I was not sure I would finish reading the book. But, I did and I am glad. In the begining I was having a hard time keeping everything straight and it was a little confusing, the comments, traditions, the harshness of the characters. In the end I was pleased with the closure it ended with.

Just watched: Capote and Being Julia

I knew nothing of either one of these. Well, of course I had heard about Capote but had no idea what it was about. I throughly enjoyed it. I wanted to watch it again. I was mesmerized by Philip Seymour Hoffman and I still do not know if it was the writing or his acting but he was wonderful. Being Julia was fun to watch just to listen to the accents. Bad or good (the accents), I could not tell, but I enjoyed them!

Lyn

Therapy

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love."

Hubert H. Humphrey

Details

Today was math and handwriting. Importance stressed on the details. Don't forget to carry the one. Remember to cross the t. Wise One is artsy so we are working on making a one look like a 1 and a seven look like a 7. He would love to go straight to cursive but I am making him patiently learn to print neatly. Again, cursive appeals to his artsy side. Details my dear one. Details. Lets not jump ahead.

While working at the local high school I found that many kids can not write neatly to save their lives. Seriously. And lets not even start talking about spelling. In the computer age of texting and shorter phrases and abbreviating everything handwriting, and the importance of it, have fallen by the way side.

This article was interesting to me. Are we losing the art of handwriting? Not in this house.

Lyn

Positive

This morning has been positive. I feel I must capture it for later veiwing when things are not so positive so I can remind myself that yes, this kind of gentle, positive life can exist for me.

The time change works better for our morning. The sun is a wonderful encourgement to get out of bed! The boys and I started off with a walk to the end of our street. We are draining our above ground pool, preparing to put it to bed for the winter, so we followed the flow of water on the curb to the end of cul de sac and the boys discovered that the water went down the storm drain and to the drainage ditch. All in perfect veiw and plenty of ways to see how the cycle works. We also saw and discussed all the other ditches in the area, that we see on a daily base while doing errands, that are connected to this ditch and talked of the journey our pool water is taking. Rowdy One collected some sticks, bugs and water. Plenty of imagination and understanding.

Came home to a breakfast of biscuits and sausage. I have received a renewed feeling for breakfast from here. Lots of further discussion on the slope of the street, why it makes the water go to the drainage ditch and Wise One even commented on the construction of the neighborhood some 25 years ago. That is why I nick named him Wise One on this blog. That kid really gets stuff! And yet can be such a wise a$$ as well!

Now we are having a bit of free time before the school day begins. We will do history today and talk and read. Plan some projects and then head to the library.

Positive. It does exist.

Lyn

Early Birthday Package

The delight of a package in the mail can be almost paralizing to an almost 6 year old little boy.

"Rowdy One, you have a package that came in the mail!", lugging in a box from the front porch.

"Me? Just me? It only has my name on it?", seriously these were his exact words!

"Yes, just you, sweetie."

He truly didn't move he just stared at his name on the box for about a minute with the grandest smile.

"It is really just for ME!!??!!!!!!!!" By the exclamation marks you can tell the excitment in his voice.

The early birthday present was exactly what this little one needed today!

Thanks Non! You truly are the best.

Lyn

New Week

I am ever so hopeful for this week. Stay tuned!

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not
reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to
follow them."

Louisa May Alcott

What is wrong with me????

I am in a funk that I can just NOT shake! There is no "just snap out of it" sign that sinks into my brain. There is no "get a grip" that jolts me into, well....getting a grip!

Well, self, I am tired of this funk.....so.....Rise and Shine!!!!!!!! We just must get a new groove on!!!!

I could go on and on about all the things I think my funk is attributed to but well, that would just make me and my blog even "funkier" so not gonna go that route. Instead I will leave you with some positives.

I always wanted to homeschool, and now I am.

I enjoy my boys. They are funny little characters.

I enjoy cooking and eating a good meal.

My new little niece has the wonderful baby smell that is just intoxicating.

I could and WILL gobble her little cheeks up ever chance I get.

Today is a new day!

There you go. my positives for the day.

Lyn

Friday, Friday

Cool weather here. Yeah!

Low humidity. YEAH!

County fair in town. yeah, extreme sarcasm here!

New baby smells. Yeah!

Plenty of baby holding for the whole family. Yeah!

School work moving right along, in bits and pieces. Yeah!

This is life in a nutshell at the moment. Trying to remember to enjoy every minute.

Lyn

New Life

I have a new neice. She is sweet and perfect and sweet and beautiful and SWEET! I could just gobble her up. My household has been busy, busy will all the things that come with having a new baby around. My boys are in heaven! And my other neice O, the big sister, is just mezmerized by the baby.

I always love it when my sister has a baby. I know I get to be there! I have to have c-sections. Don't like it. Didn't intend for it to be like that but it is. So a certain amount of the birth is lost on me. But my sister! She just pushs 'em out and has the best birth stories! To be there to witness it is amazing and wonderful for me. To be there for the process, that God so masterfully set into motion, is powerful.

Needless to say, I will be blogging about baby this and baby that for awhile, I am sure! Oh and my last post about routines.....that is almost laughable at the moment. There is a new baby to be held. We are on HER routine for now. Mine can wait!!!!!

Kiss YOUR babies today. They grow up sooooo fast!

Lyn

Routine

If you knew me 5 years ago you would be so surprised to meet me now. I have almost no routine in my life. I used to have a routine for EVERYTHING. The boys and I are suffering, however, so I gotta get my routine thing back. Just modify it a bit so that it doesn't take over but it must come back.

I need a routine for school.

I need a routine for dinner.

I need a routine for breakfast.

I need a routine for chores.

I need a routine for "me" time.

I need a routine for hubby time.

I need a routine for work.

We have relaxing plans for the weekend and a jam packed rest of the week but when I return on Monday....routines you will see!

I have to reclaim some sanity!

Lyn

Faith

I attended a funeral for a five year old on Friday and I am still trying to put into words how that funeral was for me. It was the most awe inspiring celebration of such a short life that I have ever witnessed. It was a true celebration of life. The faith her family has has left me with many thoughts in my mind. Lots to process.

"In surrender, I clear a space in which something new can grow. I
place my faith in something larger than me. I trust."
Mitten Strings for God by Katrina Kenison

I have dusted this book off. It is now on top of my stack to re-read.

Lyn

Long Weekend View

Finally, a picture from our wonderful long weekend a couple of weeks ago. This view is from our lookout, that we had to go down 49 very steep steps to see. Worth it! This was the first time we have visited here but will not be the last. It was quiet and beautiful and quiet and peaceful and hey, did I mention how quiet it was? Yeah, it was so Q.U.I.E.T.

Lyn

Rabid, Rabid

We don't normally watch the news in the What Was That household. I honestly can not tell you the last time I saw a news cast. I get all my news on line. I enjoy not getting the over sensationalized tone from a reporter. It really saves my sanity.

Well, the other night Rowdy One and I were watching a show and a clip for the next news cast came on. It was all about rabid bats in the area. It was on for 30 seconds and then back to the show.

Rowdy One looked at me with amazement in his eyes "I have never seen one of those rabbit bats they were talking about. What do they look like mommy?"

Trying to hide a giggle I said "they are rabid, bats with rabies."

"OH!!!! I thought a rabbit bat with big ears would have a hard time flying."

Yes, Rowdy One, that would be a little difficult.

Can you imagine the picture in his head!?!

Lyn

To e:

"This day is a special day, it is yours. Yesterday slipped away, it cannot be filled anymore with meaning. About tomorrow nothing is known. But this day, today, is yours, make use of it. Today you can make someone happy. Today you can help another. This day is a special day, it is yours."

Lyn

On tap this week:

Picture Study this week is Henri Rousseau's "Sleeping Gypsy".

Music: folk style. Specifically this cd. At first the boys were looking at me like I had three heads. But then this song came on, "There Ain't No Bugs On Me" - David Grasman, Jerry Garcia. ( you can take a listen on amazon with the link above) Now I really have no idea why,

"Oh, there ain't no bugs on me, no, there ain't no bugs on me. There
may be bugs on some of you mugs but there ain't no bugs on me."

would appeal to MY boys. Seriously, I have no idea!!!! te-he-he But it sold them on folk music and they are happily listening to the cd over and over again! My personal favorite is "Run Molly Run" - Sweet Honey In The Rock.

My intent on music and art are simply exposure. Expose them to a wide variety. No real rhyme or reason on my part. Any suggestions are welcomed!

We started our co-op on Monday. It will last 6 weeks. Wise One's classes are hand stitching, pencil drawing and Shakespearean adventure (thanks to M-mv on this one, you encouraged us to seek out the Bard!). Rowdy One has games, friends of the ocean, exploring the basics, and insect adventure. I am teacher assistant in Shakespearean adventure and basic chemisty. We all enjoyed ourselves and are looking forward to next Monday.

Non-fiction this week for Wise One are about newspapers and journalists. Biography will be on Rousseau. Rowdy One is still having so much fun with tongue twisters and rhymes that we are sticking with that.

A couple of other favorites: Bold and Bright Black-and-White Animals and A Life Like Mine . This last one may be a purchase, it is a beautiful book.

What is everyone else doing????

Lyn

Seashells

As I walked the beach yesterday, a beach not known for producing pretty seashells, my eyes kept seeing shimmers of pink. The sun would catch an ugly oyster shell and it would just shimmer and shine pink. I picked them up and prayed for princess B. My heart just had a sinking feeling. This morning when I walked the beach there were no pink seashells. When I got home I found out princess B passed away yesterday afternoon, as I was finding pink seashells.

Rest Princess B.

Lyn

Prayers for a princess.

Today I ask you to pray for a five year old that is possibly facing the end of her days. She has given a good fight and God has shown His power many times in keeping her going when all the doctors said she should be finished. We are still expecting God to do that again but in the natural, it appears these are her last days.

She is happy and peaceful. She loves everything princess and pink. She has a loving big sister who sings to her and holds her hand. She has a smile that lights up a room.

Please pray for her today. Pray for Princess B.

(I grew up and went to school with her daddy from elementary thru graduation. Her mother was a year younger than us. B and her family have fought lukemia for 3 long years. It appears that she is declining rapidly. I met this little girl once, when she was happy and heathly and had no idea what was coming. She looks just like her daddy. I mean JUST LIKE her daddy.)

Lyn

Pictures!

This is what we made for my neice out of a kleenex box............a shag couch for Barbie! Doesn't she look comfy? Idea from Family Fun. Super easy and she loves it!

Lyn

Ever have a day like this?

Good intentions had me sent my alarm and the boys alarm for 7 a.m. Both alarms get turned off, boys come climb in bed with me and we wake at 8! Ah well......let's get moving.

When I back out of the driveway I run over Wise One's bike. Technically HIS fault, I tell myself. No damage to either vehicle.

As I am leaving my sister-in-laws I run over her cow head skeleton thingie and almost hit her fence. Yeah, well, never was a big fan of those skull things anyway. As we leave the driveway Wise One pipes up "hey mommy go back, you missed the garbage can". Yeah, I take full credit for his humor, he is my child!

Get home and start getting ready for birthday party tonight only to realize that while I have finally reached the end of my shampoo bottle, realization in the shower soaking wet, and have so been looking forward to the new stuff that I purchased that when I pull is out I read that it is CONDITIONER!!!!!! I bought this stuff a month ago and have been waiting and waiting to use it. Nope, conditioner it is.

Get out of the shower and wonder why I really woke up this morning, in the first place, to find that my FAVORITE pair of shorts that I thought were folded neatly waiting to be wore are in fact in the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper!

I ask, should I go to bed now or just wait for more things to happen?

And I have a migraine on top of all this.

Comical, really, it is pretty comical. Unless I get hit by a mac truck or something.

Lyn

Pictures

Nope, not on this post! I had wonderful pictures to share from our long weekend. And they just will. not. download. from the camera! Dag-nab-it, shucks, fouie-louie! I mean seriusly, what is the problem? The computer is not responding to the camera in a way that makes the camera want to share her wonderful pictures with the computer!!!!!!!!

Lyn

Checks in the mail.

After enjoying a long weekend with my family in a beautiful setting I returned home to find a check in the mail. A check for a settlement with a credit card. A settlement I knew nothing about. The check was for $1.71. Yes, the decimal is after the one. As I tossed it aside I realized, in some places $1.71 was like winning the lotto.

Lyn

Something fun.

As I sign off for a long weekend with the family I leave you with something that e recommended.

Looks fun. I signed up today. Phrase a week. Check it out.

Lyn

On tap this week:

Picture Study: The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

Listening to Jazz.

Reading bios on Botticelli and Duke Ellington as well as Saint Therese, who happens to be Wise One's patron saint.

A few other favorites so far: Bug Dance, on our shelf and always a laugh, Saxophone Sam and His Snazzy Jazz Band, and one that is on loan from the library but needs to be permantly added to our shelf, Discovering Great Artists.

In 365 Manners Kids Should Know we are focusing on the section Just for Boys. I purchased this book when Wise One was just a wee one. Now I am working it into our weekly routine. Skipping around the chapters to make it fit for us. Last week we focused on how to "stay out of sticky situations with food". Some of our hands on activities were how to get rid of something awful in your mouth without making a scene for the whole table. Pretty funny, indeed. We also had a session on how to squeeze a lemon so the whole table does not get rained on!

Find something pretty to look at, listen to or imagine.

Lyn

Reunited

I read this this morning and knew what I would blog about. Oh how this fits in to 30 Days of Nothing for me. All that I have and take advantage of daily. This sentence just made me cry. Simply made me cry.

"My poor parents, they always said, 'We wish we would find all our kids'"

You must go and look at the slide show. The look on their faces. They have been apart for 65 years thinking the other was dead.

How little I have to worry about. My family is all snug in their beds. Nothing threatening outside. No big bad wolf that we have to run from. This lady, Hilda, was ten years old when she fled with her sister. TEN YEARS OLD! Wise One is 8, I can not imagine him being seperated and making it on his own. I can not imagine being seperated from him. Oh the pain and grief this mother went through. And many other mothers as well.

We, my family, really have no idea. Really.

Lyn

Tagged!

Tagged by a queen!

Here are the instructions:
-Grab the book closest to you
-Open to page 123
-Scroll down to the 5th sentence
-Post the text of next 3 sentences on your blog
-Name of the book and the author
-Tag 3 people

"So he arose, drew his coat about his breast, bound the sandals on his feet, wrapped a tawny lion's hide about him and took his spear in hand. To Menelaus also came no sleep that night. So he too arose, wrapped a leopard's skin about himself, put a cap of bronze on his head, took a spear in his hand, and went to seek his brother."

The Story of the Iliad, the classic retold by Alfred J. Church

Tag to: Beck , lindiepindie and kate !

Lyn

Things you learn from reading children books

"When you look into a pool of water, if the water is still, you can see the moon reflected. If the water is agitated, the moon is fragmented and scattered. It is harder to see the true moon. Our minds are like that. When our minds are agitated we cannot see the true world."

Zen Shorts by Jon J. Muth

Lyn

Onward and upward!

Picture Study this week is John James Audubon's "Snowy Heron".

Listening to Mozart for music this week. Just a sampling.

Watching The Blue Planet ,with our favorite narrarator David Attenborough.

Reading bios on Audubon and Mozart, Picture Puzzler , Beatrice's Goat, and Secret Worlds: brain, just to name a few.

Experimenting with Science Arts and Classical Kids, An Activity Guide to Life in Ancient Greece and Rome.

Giggling over Tongue Twisters by Charles Keller, that I couldn't find a link to but he has several others. We all have a favorite out of this book! It has been a hoot.

Lyn

Attitudes

We some new ones around here!

Any suggestions on how to lead your children to happy hearts are welcome. I have some grumpy little people. And it is making ME G.R.U.M.P.Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyn

"All of a sudden there were people screaming. I saw people jumping out of the building. Their arms were flailing. I stopped taking pictures and started crying."

--Michael Walters, a free-lance photo journalist in Manhattan.

"The hero is commonly the simplest and obscurest of men."

Henry David Thoreau

"There is no medicine to cure hatred."

Publius Syrus

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay anyprice, bear any burden, meet any hardship,support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty."

President John F. Kennedy

Recipe Thursday

This stuff is a kind of comfort food to me. Any snack food is comfort food to me!

Corn Dip:
2 cans corn (I use Mexicorn that has little bell pepper bits in it)
1 cup mayo
1 cup sour cream
1 can grn chilies
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
6 chopped grn onions
several chopped jalepenos (I like it hot!)

Mix and chill. Serve with chips.

Yummy! I have no idea the origin. My friend made it and passed on the recipe.

Lyn

A cool breeze.

A friend reminded me of something today. Enjoy the cool breeze when you get it. Take it in. Experience the moment. Coolness. Let your skin feel it.

Here in hot, humid Texas we need to say mucho gracias to cooler weather. I mean some people really do live with hot weather 24/7, 365! We joke around here that we have 10 months of summer but really it could be worse. And today I was reminded that, yes, it has been cooler around here.

Thanks e!

Lyn

Education

Today as I gathered my homeschooling materials to start my day I sat for a moment and thought about the tremendous blessing I have been given. To educate my child. Whether it be public, private or home the choice is mine. I can do it at my free will. With no one breathing down my back. Choosen One and I are FREE to choose.

My boys do not have to work to support this family. They get to be children. They get to learn and grow as children. That can not be said for a large percentage of kids in this world.

I remember last year ,at the high school that I worked, having a conversation with a student. He was dropping out because his father returned to Mexico and this child needed to support the family that was left in the States. He needed so much education but he had to choose. And his choice was to put food on the table. And take care of his mother. And sisters. And a niece. He was 16. Already having to live as an adult.

Some children do not have clothes and supplies for school. Some do not have transportation. Some do not have a safe route to even walk to school. There are children that can not go because their government tells them they can not attend. There are still more that have been told they are difficult or stupid or do not deserve education.

Yes, my blessing I am focusing on today is my children's education. I choose to homeschool and the fact that that is a choice is awesome.

My boys get to learn in this comfy enviroment. With thougths of nothing more than being a kid.

Lyn

RIP Steve Irwin

It is a sad day in our house. Crocodile Hunter was a favorite around here. Wise One even dressed as him for Halloween when he was 3 year old.

“It's just great, ... You're fortunate in your life to be in a good enough
position to help someone.” Steve Irwin

Prayers being said for his wife and two children.

Lyn

Medicine

Today as I gave Rowdy One his anitbiotic for his ear infection and his cough medicine for his chest congestion I stopped and thought about the blessing I held in my hand.

It is automatic when my child gets sick, to take him to his doctor, the same one he has had since birth, get a prescription or even just advice as to what to do to make him better, go to the pharmacy, where they know our name and will answer any question we have, go home and take the prescibed medicine or follow the advice given and usually feel better the first day.

About
10.6 million infants and small children die every year from illnesses such as
pneumonia and diarrhoea that could be either prevented or easily treated.
Vaccinations can prevent diseases, a simple saline drip can reinvigorate a small
patient dehydrated by diarrhoea.

I gave my child the blessing of medicine today. And I stopped and thanked Him for that blessing and realized this is part of the life I have. The lucky life I was given.

Lyn

What 30 days of nothing means to me.

I have been praying about 30 Days of Nothing. I needed to find my place. I wanted to participate. I thought it was a grand idea. But how to best carry it out for me? Do I involve my family or try it solo?

Many things have come to mind. Many ideas have been tossed around. I believe I have found my place.

30 Days of Nothing to me means being more aware of what I have. It means a lifestyle change. A change of attitude. A change in the way I look at things.

In the last five years I have had many "events" in my life that have brought stress and pain. And for a while I have had them all floating in my head. Trying to make sense of them or find a place to store them. I am going to use this blog to purge or sort through. And hopefully start my journey of what I feel 30 Days of Nothing means to me.

I have more than enough. And I have not been very grateful. I was born here and now with many things at my fingertips. Others where born elsewhere with nothing. How disrespectful of me to be so ungrateful with all that I have. Daily. I believe one major flaw is that I do not know how lucky I am. That is my journey. To dig deep and see how others live. To dig deep and see, really see, how I live.

In the last five years the following things have caused me extreme stress.

1. major marriage disruption that bordered on divorce, including two separations.
2. both inlaws facing major medical trama that involved cancer for both of them, at the same time. they are both now survivors.
2. grandmother facing cancer, she is now a survivor.
3. the death of my grandfather, who i cared for in his final days.
4. the murder of one of my longest and dearest friend's 4 month old child by his babysitter.
5. a move far, far, away of a very dear friend.
6. changing jobs 5 times, trying to find my place that fit my family.
7. financial stress that we are now trying to climb out of. very slowly. not fast enough for the creditors that continue to call.
8. the sudden death of a close friend.
9. a very close friend struggling with cancer and all that that includes.
10. two close couples going through divorces.
11. the chosen one burning himself so badly that he was in intensive care for a week.
12. the drowning of rowdy one in a family friend's pool. he was blue, cpr was administered, he has recovered and will even swim now. a year later. 13. wise one seeing his brother in the pool and not being able to help him. 14. a close friend accidentally overdosing on perscription drugs that she was addicted to. i was will her the day it happened and noticed nothing. she still struggles with her addiction and has continued to go down hill.
15. understanding and facing depression.
16. september 11th.
17. intense therapy. which saved my marriage. and much of my sanity. and i believe started me on this journey.

In all these situations. I. was. never. alone. Not one time did I not have someone to turn to. Someone unexpectactly bringing me dinner. Someone calling to check on me. Someone to cry with me. Someone looking out for me. Someone to offer a hug. Not once, was I alone.

That is big. That is really BIG! To never be alone in your trials and tribulations. To know that you always had someone to lean on. That is so big to me that just typing it makes me cry. Never being alone. Never being concerned that my needs would not be met. My wants, well no, those could never be met in times of stress. I wanted these situations to go away. But my needs, my basic needs were taken care of. Without me doing much for myself. Other people took care of me in one way or another.

30 Days of Nothing is a time for me to realize how lucky I am. Not in ways that mean I will go without. In ways that I will focus my energy on all that I have. And take care of it. Treat it well. Take responsiblity for all that God has given me. People. Money. Shelter. Animals. Food. Comfort.

I have thrown so much away. So much that many can not even imagine having. That is one of the first things for me to take care of. In growing I can share. In sharing I can learn. In learning I can live.

That is what 30 Days of Nothing means to me. Not the path everyone will take. But my path I feel guided to take.

Tonia ~ thank you for all that you have made me face and think about.

Lyn

Movie Friday

Today will be spent on the couch with plenty of popcorn, Dr. Pepper and candy watching:

The Pink Panther, which I am sure will cause the under 8 group in the family to speak in a very bad French accent the rest of the weekend.

Zathura

The Snurks

A day of no obligations after a very busy week that involved work, dr appts, school and very hot days and to many late nights!!!!

Lyn

Recipe Thursday

A family favorite.

Dessert Nachos:

blueberries, strawberries, flour tortillas, cinnamon and sugar, vanilla yogurt and mini chocolate chips/chocolate syrup

Make your nacho chips by cutting flour totillas into chip size slices. Spread them on a baking sheet and lightly spray with water. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. I always have a mixture of 1 part cinnamon to 2 parts sugar on hand. Bake 8-10 minutes at 400 degrees.

Remove from oven once they have reached desired crispness. Move to plate. Then assemble by spooning vanilla yogurt over chips. Then sprinkle mini chocolate chips or chocolate syrup. Top with blueberries and stawberries.

This is no exact science. Put on what works for your family. I like using the mini choc chips if you are eating them still warm because they melt on their own. But I have made the chips earlier in the day and then assembled after dinner and used the choco syrup.

Enjoy!

Lyn

Days taking shape.

We have pretty much settled into a routine for chores around here. Mondays are spent doing the weekly house cleaning with the boys doing all their "drawn" chores then. They do their "basic" chores when they get up every morning. I am having to remind them less and less and instead just do a check up. They have responded to drawing for certain chores and it seems they see it as a fair way to handle it. Wise One has drawn toliet and bathtub duty for 3 weeks now. He asked me why and I said he is going to really good at it and then he will get a lighter load! He accepted that. Rowdy One seems to always draw vacuuming. Needless to say he really works hard for that 50 cents. The vacuum is as tall as he it. But he doesn't give up.

Our schooling consists of alot of cooking and reading, with some spelling and multiplication for Wise One. Rowdy One has been busy with "bean" art for several weeks now and that includes patterns that he makes himself. I am waiting on some things I have ordered and also am still reading several books. Some on Charlotte Mason and some on Classical Education. I believe this is where we fall.

While it is still hot as blazes here I do know our summer is coming to an end. September, hopefully, will be a more set routine that we have all had a time to get used to.

Prayers being said for "30 Days of Nothing" and how our family can adapt to it in a healthy, productive manner.

Prayers continue for my friend and her children as they adapt to their new life.

Lyn

Quote Monday

"Whatever our situation in life....we can and should surround ourselves
with friends who not only understand us, but also inspire us to make the most of
our current calling."

Beverly LaHaye

Little things.

I made dinner for my friend tonight. Our boys played and we sat at the kitchen table and talked of her new life. The one without her husband.

It overwhelmed me when I walked through their front door. Overwhelmed me with tears. Took my breath away.

"You know what I am gonna miss?" she asked, "The way he drank a coke. It never seemed to touch his lips. I always asked him how he did it. I am gonna miss seeing that."

"You know what I will miss?" I said, "The flicker in his eyes when he smiled at me. He was genuine. So sincere. Just a little flicker that I would miss if I weren't paying attention."

"You know what else? The way his hand felt. The grooves." she said.

"It really is the small things, huh?" I asked. "The small details. The small things that seem silly. That is what we miss when someone is gone. Nothing big. Just the small things."

We cried. We laughed. We cried some more. We tried to make sense of the senseless things. We talked of the future. We talked of the past. We talked of a magical rewind button. We talked of what ifs. And of many, many small things.

Pay attention my friends. The small things are what matter. The details that are easy to overlook. The moments that seem too silly to make note of. That is the living that one misses. That is the thing that makes one ache to the bone, knowing that the hum will not be heard. The tap of the foot that shook the table will not be felt. The cold feet in the night. Seeing the keys tossed on the table. The movement of the hands.

Little things.

Lyn

Quote Monday

" Our job is not to staighten each other out, but to help each other
up." Neva Coyle

Three weeks

and it still feels like a dream.

I still think we will hear his voice. Or laugh. Or call to come over and eat. I still think he will call to ask Chosen One to come help him with something. I still think I may pass him on the road. Or run into him at the gas station.

No, instead a newly planted tree marks his final resting spot. I pass it everyday and look his way.

Three weeks since his last hugs for his boys. Three weeks since he last kissed his wife. Three weeks since she last saw his smile.

Life is so very short.

Lyn

D-O-G

I must tell you about the family member known as four legged one. I love this dog! Love him! He is sweet. He is gentle. He is nice looking. If he was a two legged one I would want to marry him!

Chosen One convinced me to get a dog. Talked about it for several years then came home one day and said "in X number of months we will have a dog. A breeder is giving us one." I heard dog and couple of months and thought, this too shall pass! Well, in X number of months four legged one was brought home. And what a wonder he is. He loves me like no other. Well, I am the one that feeds him or at least reminds someone to feed him. I am the one that bathes him. I am the one that gives him clean water. And when I am feeling really wild and crazy I attempt to walk him! He is eighty pounds of big ole' lovin' and not that easy to walk!! It is more like a cartoon where I am being pulled with my feet in the air straight back hanging on to the lease and the dogs ears are blowing in the wind. Get the picture? Yeah, wild and crazy I must feel to attempt that!

He follows me and sits wherever I am. Not under foot, just moves from room to room with me. Very sweet. He loves on me when I am down. Lays at my feet when I cry. Clears the room when I yell and talks back when I get on to him. It really is cute to hear him talk back. And those eyes. We have our own language. I am honored to speak it with him.

Yes, Chosen One, YOU were right to convince me to get a dog. He is a wonderful addition to our happy family. I can not imagine life without him. The past year watching him grow from a tiny puppy to a big ole puppy has been fun! And getting to know his personality has been even better.

Lyn

I am just stopping for a bit.

I am getting myself all worked up and I just need to stop. So I am. Nothing says I have to start homeschooling today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. I need to listen to my heart. And my gut. And it is telling me to stop. To rearrange. To take a moment. To clear my head.

These last couple of weeks have been tremendously hard for my family. We are watching a friend suffer and mourn her life partner. My husband and I are having conversations we didn't want to have but know that we need to. My kids are wondering about us. Will their parents not be here one day? Could we be removed from their lives in an instant? While this is all part of life and I know we will get through it I also feel we must let the process work. We must feel the feelings, have the talks and pay attention to the details. School can wait. We are living life right now. A hard part of life but a part that is teaching us a lot.

So......we continue to cook. We continue to read. We continue to play games. With that we are learning. But all the other stuff is on hold. I checked out "The Well-Trained Mind" from the library today. I am eating it up. I am searching for some Charlotte Mason books to read.

While visiting Classic Adventures I stumbled upon this and found my mission statement: What do I want them to take from this year? It is taped to my refrigerator door and I read it every morning. When I feel overwhelmed, I read it. When I get down in the dumps, I read it. When someone questions why I have not started offically homeschooling, I read it.

Sometimes I just have to get off the bus for a bit. I have to remember that.

Lyn

Want a giggle?

Listen for a small crash in the garage. Quietly open the door to see your hubby kicking stuff, mumbling things under his breath like "this place is full of crap", "where did all this crap come from" , "I'm gonna throw all this crap away one day"! Then as he looks up and notices you standing there say "hmmm, and who does most of this crap belong to?" Then with a smile quietly close the door.

Really, it is the small things that can give you a giggle!

Lyn

And the winners are.......

*S'mores Cheesecake, my pick.
*S'mores Sandwich Cookies, Wise One's pick and a total hit with everyone.
*And in regular Rowdy One fashion he just wanted to make up his own. Basically it turned out to be S'mores Brownies.

It was a wonderful day. They enjoyed making their shopping list, doing the shopping, scanning their purchases and mixing them all up. At one point as Rowdy One stirred his brownie mix and it went from light brown dry ingredients to the dark brown wet ingredients he looked up with the biggest smile " I made brownies!" Why, yes, Rowdy One you did. Now we have to cook them.

We finished out our day by making up a chores list. We have struggled with how to divide chores in our house. The boys are close enough in age to do most of the same things. Here is what we are trying.

Base allowance is for daily stuff...make bed, pick up clothes, keep bathroom straight, etc. They lose money every time I have to remind them to do a chore on their daily stuff chore list. Twenty-five cents a pop!

Then they draw for chores like vacuum, clean toilets, clean bathroom sinks, scrub bathtub, sweep, clean kitchen sink, empty garbage cans etc. Each of these have an amount attached to them, some a quarter up to seventy-five cents. They get that amount added to the base allowance when they have completed the chore.

Luckily Wise One was born on an even day and Rowdy One was on an odd so we have used that to settle some things. They get to pick their seat in the van if it is there day and stuff like that. Well, we went a little further with chores. If it is their day and my laundry day then they help me with laundry. They also set and clear the table for meals, empty the dishwasher and take out the recycling. And one big point to them, if there is a dispute over a TV show they get to call the shots if it is their day!

All and all they did a wonderful job today. I worked hand in hand with them in showing them what I expected from their chores. We had an intense session on how to clean a toilet properly!

We were all in good spirits and they responded well to my instruction. They were proud of the house at the end of the day. They were proud of themselves! Next week they will be making menus and one day a week will be their meal, with them planning and making dinner. With my help of course!

I would love to hear how other manage chores and such!

Lyn

National S'more Day

Go here to learn more.

We are picking recipes, making a grocery list and going shopping. The boys are in control on this trip. Then we are coming home making several recipes and then taking our creations to the bank, city hall and probably the library. Family members work at each stop, except the library but we told them what we are planning and I thought it might be nice.

Here are some recipes we are looking at:

S'more Sandwich Cookies, found in a Taste of Home Cookie magazine
Altering a brownie pizza from a Pampered Chef cookbook to make it S'mores-y
Silver S'mores, from Summertime Treats *recipes and crafts fro the whole family*
Grilled Pound Cake S'mores, from Southern Living magazine
Indoor S'mores, from a cereal box
S'more Clusters, recipe found here
S'mores Cheesecake, found here

The boys will choose and then we will set out to gather our ingredients. First official day of homeschooling. This day was actually on the calendar as the start day. I just tried to push us yesterday and well, we see how that turned out!!!

Lyn

Some days you're just glad when it's over.

Today is one of those days.

*PMSing.
*Wise One had a major meltdown that lasted 45 min.
*Leftovers for dinner. Lefterovers no one really was hungry for in the first place.
*Having to say "cut it out" "stop that", "can you PLEASE lower you voice", "whatever you just threw, go pick it up", "no, do not pretend with the scissors" one to many times today.
*Dog hair all over the new slipcover.
*PMSing

Oh and today was our first day of homeschooling. Great. Just great.

Lyn

You know what I keep hearing.....

"It is what it is."

I keep hearing that. EVERYWHERE!

Lyn

Not so sad today, just kinda dull.

I think I may be coming back to life a bit. I am still really tired. My emotions are settling a bit. My mind is still racing with "what ifs". But I am up and moving a little earlier today so there is hope that something will get accomplished. I still don't feel like talking much.

Today is the day public schools start in our town. Guess this makes us OFFICIAL, we are really SERIOUS about this, my kids are not in school, HOMESCHOOLERS! We are heading to the library and for a bit of fun.

Lyn

34 years

Today I am 34. My friend was 34 when he passed away last Saturday. My mother was 34 when she lost her mother.

I remember the day I turned 33 I cried because I thought this is how old Jesus was and I had just heard about a 33 year old aquaintance that just discovered she had cancer. She did not see 34.

When I was 22 I could not imagine having a child as that was the age my mother had me.

At 17 I could not imagine being married. My parents married fresh out of school and just celebrated 38 years.

The years do not always make me feel "grown up". Today I feel like a little lost child that does not know what to do.

I am 34 and I am sad. But I will celebrate with my family. I will blow out the candles more for my boys than me. And I will make a wish. A wish that know matter when my number is called I will have lived a life that leaves good, happy memories. I will have lived each day and cherised it for what it was.....time. Time to talk. Time to hug. Time to just be.

Lyn

Thoughts that I just have to write down.

Take pictures.

Tuesday afternoon after the clothes were picked out, "no not a suit, he was not a suit person", after the flowers were chosen, wildflowers for a man who loved the outdoors, and after his place was chosen at the cemetary, we purchased a tree to be planted next week, we sat and chose the pictures. Pictures of him with hair, without hair and with a mullet (!!). Pictures of him with the boys, of him camping, of him building, of him in the water, of him hunting, of him in high school, grade school, his first baseball picture.

Take pictures. His 6 year old will know him through pictures. His 9 year old will remember him through pictures. We will all see his smile through pictures.

Lyn

Conversations

Chosen One and I have had some hard conversations this week. Things like who would you want to be your pallbearers, what do you want to wear, what are your favorite flowers, what music would you like. Stuff like that that we really don't want to think about but when crisis hits it sure is nice to know the wishes of your loved one.

I am so tired and so sad.

Lyn